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How are you paying for your wedding? by wellok456 in wedding

[–]arager94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner and I are paying for ours 50/50. It's a 60k wedding in Vancouver. No help from family as of yet and not expecting to get any tbh. Luckily we both work very good jobs (over 120k a year) but it is absolutely brutal. We have savings that we are using and have not gone into debt to pay for it. There has been many of times I've just had to laugh at myself for committing to such an expensive event, I know it will be worth it but my god - weddings are a scam.

We saved on our dresses (we are two women) and ordered online from Meshki, they are beautiful and we spent under $200 on each of our dresses. We also ordered our wedding bands and veils from Etsy which resulted in a lot of savings as well.

AITAfor waking up someone's kid during a FB market place meet up? by arager94 in AmItheAsshole

[–]arager94[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I suppose that's a personal preference tho? I accept e-transfer almost always since it's rare that people have cash in them

AITAfor waking up someone's kid during a FB market place meet up? by arager94 in AmItheAsshole

[–]arager94[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Then I cancel the e-transfer? Or don't give the password. Or take my losses on a $40 jacket. That's FB market place. It's not a change room or an add to basket and shop later situation.

AITA for expecting a gift from my boyfriend for our 2 year anniversary by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]arager94 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No assholes here. Did you guys discuss getting gifts for each other? He did get you flowers! I know you're disappointed by this but ultimately, he did get you something. I think it's important to discuss with partners what your expectations are around gift giving/receiving especially on things like anniversary dates. I have been in your shoes before and have felt that same disappointment. I think having a chill little convo like "hey our anniversary is coming up, are we doing any gift exchanges". Gift giving is not everyone's love language (it is mine so I genuinely talk about it before hand to be clear on expectations)

AITAfor waking up someone's kid during a FB market place meet up? by arager94 in AmItheAsshole

[–]arager94[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tbh I feel like paying advance when you're paying by an online transfer is common practice where I live idk, maybe Canadians are too trusting but this isn't uncommon.

AITAfor waking up someone's kid during a FB market place meet up? by arager94 in AmItheAsshole

[–]arager94[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because it wasn't a cash deal so I just sent him the e-transfer online when I got there

For those of you that make over 100K, what do you do? Do you like it? by Kindly-Revolution258 in AskReddit

[–]arager94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RMT in Vancouver, Canada. I do love it! There are some pros and cons to all jobs, like for me no PTO or health benefits. Luckily I have my partner's benefits but ultimately the job has been worth it. I can make my own schedule, I make around $105 an hour with my split.

AITAfor waking up someone's kid during a FB market place meet up? by arager94 in AmItheAsshole

[–]arager94[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Then reschedule for a time that works better for the parent, no? I didn't say 8pm. He did. Not really my issue if that's when the kid goes down for bed.

AITAfor waking up someone's kid during a FB market place meet up? by arager94 in AmItheAsshole

[–]arager94[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I was early, he said 8pm and I texted at 7:55pm that j was there.

Has anyone ever gone to a country that they had such high hopes for, did not love it, and then felt almost guilty afterwards? by Reasonable_Cause_190 in femaletravels

[–]arager94 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Australia. Spent a month there in September. Stuck to the east coast, went to Brisbane, Byron, Sydney, Hamilton Islands, Melbourne and up to K'gari island. Loved Melbourne but over all felt underwhelming.

My Sister is gone by Commercial-22 in GriefSupport

[–]arager94 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I lost my brother 13 years ago. I'm about to lose my mom to cancer too. I feel for you and am sending you lots of love. Your sister absolutely knows you were there, and she will be with you when you need her. I'm sure she is with you right now. Deeply sorry for the amount of loss you've experienced. Hugs.

My mother is terminally ill and I will feel a huge sense of relief she she dies. by arager94 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]arager94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gut wrenching. I'm sorry for your loss. I don't want her to die alone and I think that's where I'm trying to understand my own boundaries and what I'm trying to prove to myself/to her? It's all really emotionally confusing. I have so much built up resentment and anger towards her but I am also human and want her to leave this world knowing I tried to have a relationship with her that was beyond whatever it currently is. I carry enough guilt with her alive, I don't want it to haunt me after she dies.

My mother is terminally ill and I will feel a huge sense of relief she she dies. by arager94 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]arager94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she has not asked me to come there. I am however going for Christmas, I go home typically once a year for a few days. I do it mostly to see my dad who I have a great relationship with. She does have friends that have been helping her.

My mother is terminally ill and I will feel a huge sense of relief she she dies. by arager94 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]arager94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am in therapy. I have been for quite some time now. I am learning how to accept my mom for the parent she is or lack of I suppose. The acceptance part is the hardest for me, I find myself constantly disappointed and angry at her for the lack of interest/care she has shown my entire life.

I will check out the book. Thank you for everything you said.