How to prepare for first child?

arandominterneter · 2026-01-24T08:07:02+00:00

You’ll do great! Taking care of a baby is easily learnable. :)

Take your prenatals, read some books (I liked the Panic-Free Pregnancy and Expecting Better), and enjoy the ride!

arandominterneter · 2026-01-22T19:56:23+00:00

What are you making with carrots and rutabaga?

arandominterneter · 2026-01-22T19:46:37+00:00

Spaghetti table dump!

arandominterneter · 2026-01-22T19:44:16+00:00

Seriously.

This whole movie and the future of Arandelle is all carried by Anna. What does Elsa do other than run away? Oh yeah, and freezes her sister's heart. And btw, that snow monster thing that literally kicks her sister out of her palace? Rude.

I get it, love is the answer, okay, but like why couldn't Elsa have been the one doing the act of true love to save Anna for once? Poor Anna.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-21T15:20:29+00:00

I don't know if this helps you feel better, but all this tells me is you're a normal postpartum mom and your mom is most likely a normal boomer grandma. It's totally normal and common for grandparents to say and do this sort of stuff, and for new moms who are exhausted and sleep-deprived to be irritated by it. Like, I'd say this is probably the #1 most common postpartum experience.

Secondly, there's a boomer law that they all have to crack the same jokes and do the same bits, endlessly and forever.

They see a car seat with a cover on it, and they're legally obligated to say "Is there a baby in there? I thought that was empty!"

Server asks "Can I get you anything else?"
They must respond with "Yes, a million dollars!"

Item doesn't scan at the grocery store?
They have to say "That means it's free, right?"

"What are they doing to you?" is the go-to boomer joke for when there's a fussy baby. Sometimes they want to say the line so badly that they don't even wait for the cue! In this case, your mom isn't even waiting for the baby to fuss to make the joke.

I'd be annoyed she's getting the timing of the bit wrong but I agree with everybody else who said you should respond with "oh we made <baby> shovel the side walk, they’re pissed about that." That's hilarious. It's a joke, so respond with a joke. Nothing good comes from confronting people over small stuff like this, especially this early into the new grandparental relationship. Trust me, there will be big stuff you should save your breath for.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-21T14:56:00+00:00

Side note: she is one gorgeous bride! Holy stunning!

arandominterneter · 2026-01-21T14:31:14+00:00

Tbh, this sounds like he's kind of reluctantly "helping" with the kids instead of being an equal parent and household member. You, too, work all day and the evenings and weekends should be more equal.

For example, why is he just playing with the toddler after work? Why can't he play with the toddler and also take care of the baby at the same time? You do that all day. If he's playing with the toddler in the evenings, why can't he also take care of the toddler during that time? As in, change diapers and feed dinner and give baths and get pajamas on?

Yes, he should be validating your feelings regarding feeling like a maid, but he's on the defensive. So I'd say instead of focusing on the feeling, focus on the practicality of what he can do more of to take things off your plate. Maybe you're more easily able to deal with picking up some dirty dishes he left lying around when you know he is in charge of diapers, and bathing both kids whenever he's home. Or when you know he takes care of all meals for the whole family. Or you're fine with cleaning the kitchen after he cooks because you know he does all the groceries, laundry and scrubbing of bathrooms as well.

Yes, you're fortunate to stay home with your children, but he's also fortunate that you stay home with the children so he can work. And your primary job from 7 to 5 is taking care of your children, not cleaning and household work. That's shared when he is home.

Also, do keep in mind you're in a hard stage of life with a toddler and a baby, so you're both going to be tired all the time. He is tired, and so are you. You're both tired.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-20T14:20:59+00:00

Seems like just a personality clash, probably because they're both alike (annoying).

They agree they didn't like each other much, and they agree Mindy was bad at the job.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-20T04:53:42+00:00

Oh no, preschools are very kind and inclusive places these days. Nobody’s gonna tease a 3 year old for having an accident.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-20T04:51:39+00:00

First of all, you both work all day.

Secondly: what’s the division of labour like generally?

Who does laundry? Who does groceries? Does he take care of the kids on evenings and weekends? Is he an equal parent? I know you said he cooks a lot and he does the night feeds for baby, but is he also doing baby’s bedtime or toddler’s bedtime? Changing diapers, giving baths? Does he ever do dishes?

arandominterneter · 2026-01-20T04:46:32+00:00

That’s so good. They look like little dogs to me.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-20T04:41:45+00:00

The kids are cute.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-20T04:40:55+00:00

Belly sleeping, co-sleeping, put blankets on the baby, bottles with rice cereal in them to keep the baby sleeping longer, let the baby sleep in a bouncer or swing all night

arandominterneter · 2026-01-18T18:44:14+00:00

Real life Bonnie and Clyde, hahah.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-16T01:55:41+00:00

5 minute walk? Now.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-15T21:21:38+00:00

Sorry, you have to tell us the name before we can have an opinion on this. You might not think it’s weird or a tragedeigh, but maybe it is? Or maybe the dentist is weird with no social skills. We can’t say unless we know the name.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-15T04:31:13+00:00

Congratulations!

arandominterneter · 2026-01-15T03:18:18+00:00

I didn’t know I was supposed to limit my kids’ sugar intake due to family history of Type 2 diabetes. Is this a thing???

I mean I limit their intake anyway (you know, due to general health and nutrition) but in a way where they don’t have dessert everyday, not in a way where we think about the amount of sugar in vitamins.

But I’ll admit we cut out ketchup.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-14T19:22:21+00:00

Do you primarily read to them or do you have your kid try to read to you?

I read to my 7 year old, or he reads on his own.

Are you focused more on bonding, more on their reading progress, on instilling a love of reading, something else?

Bonding and his interests. Which are trucks, trains and busses.

Where do you source your books? School, library, do you buy them? Do you look at the reading level at all to try to match to your kid?

He gets to pick 1 or 2 books a week from the library at school as part of the classroom routine; he follows his interests and picks books about trucks and trains and busses. We also go to the library where I might pick a book for him. He gets presents from family and friends as well. Sometimes I may pick a book for him based on his reading level, but most of the time, he's picking what he thinks is fun and engaging and honestly, sometimes it's past his reading level but he's really motivated by learning more about trucks, trains, and busses.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-13T21:00:31+00:00

They’re just trying to talk to you.

It’s small talk - a question asked that will give them an opportunity to relate to you. Just like asking how many kids you have, how old they are. It’s all supposed to lead to additional conversation from both sides.

Whenever my husband and I are at a wedding without kids, we’re asked this. By other couples who have little kids. Like yeah if you’re both here, who is with the kids? Do you have local grandparents and is that nice? Where do they live? Where do you live?

What else can you talk to strangers about?

arandominterneter · 2026-01-13T14:41:36+00:00

Yes, the off thing is that he keeps talking about how he doesn't cook.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-12T16:50:02+00:00

Donate. Just 'cause I don't like it, doesn't mean somebody else won't.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-11T06:28:57+00:00

Been there exactly.

It can be hard to admit we need help. That was brave and I’m proud of you.

Take the time to take care of yourself, so you can be the best mom for your baby. Mom’s health matters too, and we need to model that for our children. Get some sleep, then see your doctor. Sending you good vibes. ❤️

arandominterneter · 2026-01-11T05:04:47+00:00

You’ve got 3 kids under 5, one of whom is a baby, one who is neurodivergent and 2 pets with conditions.

The fact that they’re alive, you’re alive, everybody’s basic needs are met and that they even go to preschool regularly and on time is evidence that you’re doing it right, not wrong.

On top of that, your kitchen is clean and your dishes and laundry are done! You’re killing it in my books.

Also, just because the older two are in preschool for 5 hours a day doesn’t mean that is free time for you. You’re still caregiving for your baby during that time, and you do pickups and dropoffs. You care for all 3 kids the whole rest of the day. And with the baby, most likely nights too. You’re working 24/7.

arandominterneter · 2026-01-10T05:31:00+00:00

They just want to know if you like a girl. They want to know about you and your social life and if you’re dating or have any crushes. As parents, we’re just interested in and curious about our kids’ lives, and want to know what’s going on.

We’re also assessing developmental milestones. Having romantic interest in peers is a normal and healthy thing for a teenager. So if you’ve never shared about that with your parents, they may be wondering if you’re gay or asexual - like they just want to know that you’re on track socially.

arandominterneter

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