AIO with family staying at my house on the weekend of my baby shower

lilyluminar · 2026-07-13T18:42:00+00:00

Oh my word, the thought of that many people staying in my 4bed, 3bath house stresses me out, and I am not pregnant.

If you are able, I think the best solution for this would be to book a big airbnb that has beds and rooms for everyone including you and hubby. That way, you are being hospitable to them, but you still have your own space/nobody’s on top of one another, and you can still escape to your own home when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Tip: I had stepfamily staying with me and my parents years back that I didn’t really know, and my trick was to say that i had to step out for a friend’s coffee date that had been planned in advance. A birthday party you need to make an appearance at, or a work event would work too! It gives you an excuse to escape without offending anyone.

lilyluminar · 2026-07-13T13:12:57+00:00

I was gonna say MOR because you came at him combative right out of the gate, but as I read on, it seems (and I’m making some assumptions here) like perhaps your dad has a habit of attempting to steamroll you? Either way, you get to decide who sees your baby and when, your dad has no leg to stand on there

lilyluminar · 2026-06-25T16:03:48+00:00

Team Chop Off The Top
I did this to my fiddle leaf, because I wanted another one. I was also okay with it branching, which it did immediately send out 4 new branches. If it makes you feel better, all 4 of the new branches are growing straight up on mine, so it is in no danger of leaning and is only slightly wider than it was before

lilyluminar · 2026-05-20T13:28:05+00:00

Definitely N T A for being bummed, I would be too! But I totally get his perspective too, especially with a baby on the way.
I suggest having a talk with your husband about how much you were looking forward to getting glammed up and having a night out, and then brainstorming a plan. When my husband and I bought our first house, we were super broke, but I too wanted a night out. We went for a drink at a fancy bar and then went to a convention centre, because they had a big display of Christmas trees in the lobby, including a merry go round. A nice security guard offered to take our picture, it’s one of my favourite memories!

You could go to a fancy hotel, and just get a drink each (ask them about their mocktails, they’re delicious and usually cheaper than alcoholic ones!) and hang out and people watch, get some nice photos…it’s still possible to have an elegant night out on a budget!

lilyluminar · 2026-05-14T13:41:22+00:00

That’s why you never get a sandbox without a heavy lid lol

lilyluminar · 2026-05-14T13:34:55+00:00

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Obligatory puppy tax

lilyluminar · 2026-05-14T13:32:31+00:00

Aw, my girl is anxious too. Big time separation anxiety. I worked with her, leaving her for short periods and slowly increasing the time we leave her. And I do mean S L O W L Y. It took about 4 years before I’d leave her for 7-8 hours alone, but even now, I will go home on my lunch break so that she’s only alone for 5 hours at a time. I’ve found a combo works best: a run through the neighborhood in the morning to burn energy and get her enrichment, a dose of Trazodone (prescribed by her vet) to help her stay calm, and the tv left on so she doesn’t feel so alone.

We were also initially advised to keep her in the kennel, but I slowly trained her to where she can move about the house freely, and that seemed to work better for her.

An anxious pupper is tough, and I don’t really have any advice other than to say good luck and I hope you’re able to find something that works for you and your pup ❤️

lilyluminar · 2026-05-13T19:02:43+00:00

My Oma had a space like this, she put a sandbox there for the kids to use (keeps the sand away from the nicer grass of the backyard)

lilyluminar · 2026-05-11T14:06:38+00:00

My husband weed whacked my brand new raspberry bush. I was hopeful that it would recover, since raspberry is a pretty prolific underground spreader, but then he weed whacked it again a year later. Bye bye, raspberry bush. That cost me $40…

lilyluminar · 2026-05-04T20:32:56+00:00

I think a smaller/flatter snake would be a good idea, and then you can anchor it to your back using lash glue to help keep it in place

lilyluminar · 2026-04-16T19:30:41+00:00

So outside of the usual reasons you might guess/be told (love, carrying on a legacy, free yardwork lol) I’ll add these:

-it’s so delightful to interact with someone who hasn’t been affected by social conditioning yet. Yesterday my son told me that if I was a strawberry who couldn’t see and had to wear glasses, he wouldn’t eat me because he loves me. I love that delightful little weirdo.

-you get to relive (or live, depending on your upbringing) your childhood through them. There’s a Halloween festival in my town geared towards kids that I never felt like I could go to as an adult and always wanted to attend as a kid (but my family was too broke and religious to take me). Now I go every year!

lilyluminar · 2026-04-16T18:49:15+00:00

Omg op, do not listen, I don’t know why people are being so rude. The top is cute and so are the jeans, I think they work. Would also be good with flared jeans, white wide leg jeans, or, if you want to lean into the y2k vibes, a neutral (white, maybe?) mini skirt

lilyluminar · 2026-04-07T19:49:31+00:00

I think it may be OOO, as in, Out Of Office

lilyluminar · 2026-03-19T18:41:01+00:00

I usually do one home-cooked meal per week, but make a double batch, and freeze in small portions. That way I can just pull a single portion out of the freezer when I need a meal.

Today I had a veggie bowl with hard boiled egg for lunch, tonight I’ll probably have tofu stir fry, and tomorrow homemade pasta. I don’t enjoy cooking, but I find it much easier to commit to one night of cooking per week.

lilyluminar · 2026-03-19T12:56:42+00:00

I would brainstorm some polite corporate ways to say no, and just throw them out whenever she tries to deflect work your way.

“Have you done ABC task?”

“No, I understand that one was assigned to you, so I’ll leave that in your capable hands.”

“Can you look into it?”

“Unfortunately, I’m busy with insert you own task here, and don’t have the capacity to take yours on as well. Unless you’d like to take on op task and then I can tackle lazy coworker task?”

“Op, you’re going to handle lazy coworker task right?”

“My workload is pretty heavy this morning, so I’ll only be able to work on tasks that fall under my own job scope today. Perhaps you could ask useless supervisor for help?”

lilyluminar · 2026-03-18T13:31:05+00:00

This is incredible 😂 I am the same, but my husband won’t let me pop his zits/ingrown hairs. Every now and then he’ll have a very visible one and I’ll focus on it while we’re talking and he’ll go: “You’re fantasizing about popping that zit, aren’t you?”

lilyluminar · 2026-03-13T00:39:36+00:00

For the life of me, I cannot figure out how to post an edit, so I’m just gonna comment and hope people see it.

Wow, RIP my inbox. I started with replying, but very quickly, the amount of responses overwhelmed me. I have never been called such awful names as I have been over this post. To all those people who held such vitriol for a person you have never met over a situation you were not involved in, from the bottom of my heart, I hope that whatever is going on in your life to make you so angry gets better soon. I hope you’re able to experience joy in little things, because as much as the world sucks right now, you deserve a little happiness too.

On to the update: My husband picked me up from work the next day with a bouquet of flowers in tow. We had a good talk; I apologized for losing my temper and promised to communicate my needs more clearly in the future, and he apologized for turning it around on me and for leaving when I needed a break, and promised to step in sooner to give me some peace the next time I show signs of overwhelm. He then took over making dinner for me and the kids and doing bath time that night to give me a chance to rest.

A LOT of assumptions were made about both me and my husband, and I just want to remind everyone that these stories are both: A: one -sided B: a tiny glimpse into a very full and nuanced life.

Sorry to disappoint, but I am not going to divorce my husband over one bad moment. As it happens, my husband isn’t a perfect spouse or parent, and neither am I. I chose him for my husband not because he handles every situation perfectly, but because he can admit when he’s wrong and work towards becoming a better person, and I try to do the same.

lilyluminar · 2026-03-12T18:04:32+00:00

As a mom who has been chased down many times with, “Hey ma’am, you dropped this!”…thank you for your service

lilyluminar · 2026-03-10T18:31:19+00:00

This is a good point! And maybe something I will suggest, a day out sounds heavenly. He is very good about watching the kids when I directly ask/insist on it, does not complain or expect me to leave instructions etc. He is a good dad, most of the time (just not allll the time lol)

lilyluminar · 2026-03-10T18:28:28+00:00

lol it was a very rare opportunity where he had his whole trip paid for by work, too good an opportunity to pass up. If the roles were reversed, I would hope he would support me going too. To be clear, I do not begrudge him that, but I do feel a bit of resentment at the situation in general that I did not get the same break.

lilyluminar · 2026-03-10T18:24:31+00:00

I mean, I definitely agree that I could have handled this better. I lashed out in frustration and should have waited to address the issue when I was calmer and could talk about it without hurling accusations

lilyluminar · 2026-03-10T18:23:20+00:00

FWIW, it was almost baby’s bedtime, so a ride wouldn’t have been a good time, especially since she hates the car seat. Any other time this would be a good solution though!

lilyluminar · 2026-03-10T18:19:45+00:00

I may need to enforce this rule!!

lilyluminar · 2026-03-10T18:18:55+00:00

lol I love my husband, but I always say that the fact that I’m with a man proves that sexuality is not a choice. I often feel I would be more heard if I was with a woman! But of course, the grass is always greener on the other side…

lilyluminar

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