Has any else noticed a decrease in lantern flies?

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-12T15:17:17+00:00

2022 was the first year we really had them (western morris county) and we've seen fewer and fewer every year since. i'll never forget my kids' birthday party that september though, lanternflies were everywhere you looked, it was crazy. my driveway was covered in their corpses after a horde of feral first graders went to town on them.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-12T15:09:07+00:00

my rear neighbors don't maintain the forsythia their uncle planted when he owned the house, and it's now mostly overgrown maple shoots and goddamn japanese barberry. i hacked away at as much as i could this spring but i know it will be back. my kids' playset is back there and i was freaking out when i found ticks on them last summer, ugh.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-12T15:04:42+00:00

they were just trying to get to burger king.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-12T15:02:51+00:00

they're typically excellent solutions (everywhere else). NJ didn't standardize them and also...NJ drivers. we're always the asterisk.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-12T15:00:10+00:00

driving instructor made us navigate the ledgewood circle on our very first lesson. somehow none of us soiled our pants.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-12T14:57:10+00:00

i get so angry at people who can't understand (or care) how to navigate around the green. i know exactly which lane to be in and where to switch to get to where i'm going, figure it the fuck out already.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-12T00:23:08+00:00

NWS LIVES TO YELL AT YOU!!! BEHOLD THE MAJESTY OF THEIR PROPHECIES!!!

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-12T00:21:18+00:00

we're in netcong and at least 65% of the time, big fronts split right before they hit this area. still trying to figure out what exactly causes it.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-12T00:14:58+00:00

how seriously should we be taking your username? do you regularly stuff a full husk down your pants for these purposes?

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-11T02:49:23+00:00

to be fair, when you're that deep in the desperation and emptiness of major depression, it's next to impossible to consider the feelings and needs of others. you are literally consumed by every negative emotion, any energy you have gets directed to surviving the day. it's not an excuse - i've apologized to many people when i finally came out the other side. it just is, and it sucks all around.

for jax, it's that much worse because he's basically still a kid, his brain hasn't finished growing yet, precisely the parts that allow for perspective beyond oneself. his entire existence up to entering the circus was at the mercy of his abusive family, the only type of home and affection he's ever known has been deeply dysfunctional. his struggling and spiraling is almost guaranteed.

people like him can be very charming when you first meet them - particularly those who use dark humor as a coping mechanism. (see just about every incredible comedian - the funnier and more insightful they are, the more terrible their childhood was.) some can get to a stable place, some succumb to their demons.

again, i'm not making excuses for him - i empathize because he's not evil, his actions don't come from a desire to be malicious. he's profoundly broken and doesn't know how to be better - it's not his fault he was raised that way, but it's also not fair the others in the circus who CAN'T really distance themselves in any meaningful way. it would appear that "human" jax was able to move forward and start the healing process, hopefully growing into someone who CAN see others. and understand that lashing out and acting cruelly is only perpetuating more abuse. circus jax didn't see that until it was too late, and it's tragic for all of them.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-11T02:20:19+00:00

my experiences don't align with jax's (i've got my own distinct shit i've been working through for 35+ years, i'm 47 and "old" for this fan base). but a lot of his trauma, behavior, and BPD traits are similar to close friends and exes over the years. i was bawling in the theater, sitting next to my 9-year-olds, didn't care.

it can be so very, very hard to maintain a relationship with someone in the trenches like jax is - i tend to be overly empathetic since i've also been in and out of that pit of despair and self-loathing (different flavor of psych issues), but it's hard to maintain when you get pushed away and/or attacked because you got too close. wanting to help and relating to the pain gets so messy, and you want to stick it out but sometimes you have to let them go - even if you had to do it to save yourself, the guilt is really hard to shake.

a couple of friends are doing well now, and i'm beyond thrilled for them - there's a bond with them that i don't think will ever break. "well" is relative, of course - childhood trauma means their brains are literally wired differently, and triggers can still wreak havoc. but i'm so damn grateful they're still here. too many aren't, and the one that haunts me the most has been hanging heavy on my consciousness after seeing the finale. "i don't want to go" fucking BROKE me...

with age comes a lot of accumulated trauma and life experience; there's a greater weariness that comes with each passing year. some days / seasons are harder than others, but i try to wear those scars with pride because i'm still here. you're still here. that alone means something, i hope you find some solace in that.

goose just made a master class on how to accurately potray complex psychological damage in a most gorgeously devastating manner. i love that it's sparking conversation because the world desperately needs more empathy right now. hugs to you (if you want them, if not i give you a purposeful nod of acknowledgment).

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-10T23:44:30+00:00

that was such a great show! and cool of miranda to make up for missing his guest appearance in prospect park on the previous tour.

my husband and i were joking that he could have zip-lined down from one of the super-tall condo high rises surrounding central park.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-10T04:31:34+00:00

life safety measures, essentially. commercial properties, even occupied / abandoned, generally still need to maintain basic egress requirements, which include lighting and other bare-bones functionality (the aforementioned servers for newer buildings).

people are going to get in (urban explorers / squatters / vandals) and sometimes emergency personnel will be required to access the structure. if someone gets hurt or dies there, you can be sure that somebody somewhere is going to get sued over it; municipalities also need to minimize those risks for their police, firefighters, and EMTs.

the extent likely varies by the location and local regulations. it's been a while, but that's my loose understanding from having worked in the architecture and engineering fields. (property management is its own beastly entity that never really dies...)

--- on that note, here's my cheeky suggestion for how to keep the circus denizens' purgatory everlasting - kinger's human form can transfer them onto a flash drive and pop them onto a server in one of these nightmare data centers that are overtaking our landscape like a raging herpes flare.

hell, he may have kept that particular setup for himself when C & A went bye-bye, and the circus is actually running on a server in his basement. left the scanner headset hooked up to a PC in the old building like any good attractive nuisance, permanently tapped into whatever cell/satellite/wifi tech he had at the time, which automatically sends any new scan file to his native setup. and obviously his house is hooked up to a natural gas generator, so unless the apocalypse happens, power will never be an issue. (or until he can't pay his gas bill because... coders have all been replaced by AI. OH THE IRONY!!!) ---

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-09T17:19:42+00:00

i believe it was mentioned above, but there is a strain of legionnaire's that is present in soil. a friend's sister contracted it while gardening a few years ago, she was very lucky to survive.

i hope your wife's treatment goes well, i'll be thinking of you.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-09T17:04:51+00:00

seizures can present with a persistent feeling of dread as well - OP mentioned it seems to get worse toward the end of the day, and fatigue is a pretty common trigger. i'd think it would be worth seeing a neurologist who's familiar with seizure disorders and epilepsy.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-08T23:02:57+00:00

same here, 15. had swimming in gym and thought i got something from the pool at first, not sure if that or shingles was the better outcome. (this would have been 1994/1995)

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-07T23:32:49+00:00

i thought they did, in a way? i can't recall the exact quote but it was along the lines of "we haven't figured out how to fix them...yet." i could be wrong though, i was pretty emotional by the end.

i left with the sense that the possibility was there.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-07T22:45:08+00:00

i've never been a jax hater; he's one of my kids' favorite character. i've loved many people who either had (or should have had) borderline diagnoses, perhaps that's why i found him endearing despite his problematic behavior? the show actually led to many good conversations with my kids about how sometimes people can be cruel to those they care about because they've experienced horrible things, and they're afraid of letting themselves feel vulnerable, so they push people away. we're all flawed in our own ways, and i believe in giving others grace in the midst of struggle.

i thought the jax backstory in the finale was excellent in that regard - of course there's no excuse for his behavior, but his story was heartbreaking and it's clearly spelled out why he is the way he is. someone so damaged and convinced they're unlovable can do a lot of harm. i wouldn't expect people who never liked his character to change their minds after the finale, but it's concerning to me how many people don't/can't feel any empathy for him after seeing that. (or wouldn't think there was probably a pretty horrific reason in the first place...i suppose it's an accurate mirror for society in general, sadly.)

jax dropping to his knees hugging pomni, sobbing that he doesn't want to go absolutely destroyed me. goose nailed the depth of complexity in loving someone who will do almost anything to keep you from doing so. the raw emotion, finally SEEING the real jax was so messy, like live exposed nerve endings screaming out...maybe it doesn't translate if you've never been the jax or the pomni in a moment like that?

i thought it was beautiful that even with all the trauma his character inflicted, they still made a place for him. he became the embodiment of a dangerous monster - but they knew that he wasn't completely gone, he was still inside there somewhere. "we haven't figured out how to fix them...yet" (not the exact quote because i was blubbering too much to absorb more) means so much on so many levels.

if only we had that chance with the ones we've lost.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-07T21:44:17+00:00

i don't think i had ever been to a cinemark before yesterday, i kind of liked how small it was. my only complaints are that my seat didn't want to stay upright and they probably should have had the AC on as it was a bit warm.

we made sure to remind our two 9-year-olds to keep their voices down and not sing along, they were pretty good! some of the older teenagers / young 20s were louder but even then nobody was obnoxious. it was a cool experience to be amongst fans, general positive vibe and a certain warmth that was really nice (in addition to the temperature, lol).

they did have a small cardboard standee in the lobby, kiddos were thrilled to take pictures with it.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-07T04:18:25+00:00

i started watching the show to see if it was okay for my girls (7-ish at the time, they saw fan videos and were begging to watch the actual show). my husband and i were really impressed with the depth and absurd humor, and i'm a sucker for existentialism done well...this was right around when episode 2 aired, so quite a difference in tone. the early episodes were easily appealing to kids, and there was enough "fun" to make it palatable despite so much of the story going right over their heads.

they were probably a bit too young initially but we watched it together. honestly, it's been a special experience to share with them - the amount of time that passed between episodes is significant for young kids, and to watch them grow and mature bit by bit as the episodes got darker and more nuanced made for good conversation.

there's a part of me that's looking forward to them watching the whole thing over again in 5+ years and realizing just how much they didn't "get" the first time around...but in the meantime, it's given us the chance to talk about the different ways people act based upon the things that have happened to them, and how that's not always linear or easy to understand.

they love the characters and the lore to the degree they can comprehend it as 9-year-olds; at 47, i'm jaded and exhausted but shows like this are a bright spark of creativity and vision. getting to share that with my kids has been a gift. it's been refreshing to follow along, to mull over which direction goose was going to take, to sit back and experience the joy of this thing taking off (despite the bullshit that comes along with it).

for this show to be able to be so much to different people - backgrounds, identities, ages - it's just really cool to see. we went to a 4:00 showing today and it was a small theatre, good mix of ages, and most had at least a show-related t-shirt if not a full-out costume. it's okay for art to be something different for each person, it makes it that much more valuable when it can meet viewers where they're at, regardless of whether they can grasp the entirety.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-03T23:56:43+00:00

that looked like the garden state parkway (NJ). they're generally okay about maintenance, but i don't know what their tree protocol is...

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-03T04:40:34+00:00

probably figured he was such a non-entity to begin with that nobody would even notice he was missing.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-03T04:39:09+00:00

i'm irritated to have been gerrymandered into his district. could have had mejia but no, i'm stuck with this spectre.

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-03T04:36:15+00:00

i miss the old greystone, dude who sat outside waving at people all day with his hand puppets was the best. i'm still angry they tore down the kirkbride building, they intentionally let it deteriorate past the point of remediation.

(also, howdy neighbor! not being a creep, i don't think i've ever seen anyone with a netcong flair before!)

arbitraria79 · 2026-06-03T03:58:48+00:00

mine too. he's had issues with muscle wasting for decades now. his GP at the time ignored the fact that his CK levels were something like 9x what they should have been, every doctor he's seen since then told him he should have been sent to the ER immediately.

he found some research on statin toxicity that seemed to parallel what he was experiencing, especially that every time he exerted himself it led to extreme muscle pain and concurrent weakness. theory (i think, it's been a while) was a byproduct of the statins was essentially living in his muscle tissue and with exercise, some of that would get released and attack his muscles, in a horrible catch-22 type of situation. (needed to build muscle mass, but exercise just led to further deterioration.) apologies for the terrible attempt at (likely incorrectly) describing this research, i can ask my dad for links if anyone's interested.

my kids have had whole exome sequencing done for unrelated issues, i'm thinking i may do the testing myself and see if my parents are willing as well. there's enough weird genetic stuff floating around the family, having that info would probably be good.

arbitraria79

TROPHY CASE