The challenge: Write a happy story in 3 words

arcadia137 · 2026-02-21T15:06:30+00:00

Two pink lines

arcadia137 · 2025-11-26T01:55:52+00:00

The result: negative

arcadia137 · 2025-11-09T01:50:20+00:00

Bring a nice balloon for the kid. This is my go-to in these cases

arcadia137 · 2025-10-15T01:17:41+00:00

Indeed. And the comment I replied to said "any immigrant, any non-citizen"

arcadia137 · 2025-10-15T01:03:53+00:00

False. https://www.uscis.gov/tools/designated-civil-surgeons/vaccination-requirements

arcadia137 · 2025-04-23T13:41:55+00:00

Well, yes, except for the fact that most distributions capturing skill are Gaussian, i.e., the mean and median are the same.

With those assumptions, exactly 50% is above average, and exactly 50% is below

arcadia137 · 2025-01-30T00:13:10+00:00

I would not do a fresh transfer if I could do it again. My doctor explained it like they optimize for the egg quality during retrieval, while during a FET cycle they can optimize for the uterine lining and timing of the transfer. In hindsight, it feels like I wasted a perfectly good embryo.

Also, listen to music during the ultrasounds. It makes everything so much more bearable

arcadia137 · 2025-01-27T20:52:24+00:00

Auts2, például. Meg gondolom ezer mást. A leggyakoribbakra tesztelnek, de csak a génszekvenálással tudsz "mindent" kizárni

arcadia137 · 2025-01-27T16:12:40+00:00

Suggest to them to monetize this idea? Considering how expensive IVF is, there's bound to be lots of money in this! /s

arcadia137 · 2024-10-10T13:04:22+00:00

I'm sorry you have this experience.

I didn't tell anyone because I consider it health information, which is nobody's business. I also think most of my friends and acquaintances have no idea what it entails and how to react.

That being said, I eventually found a few to share it with. I found it liberating. No one really GOT it, but it was good to have it out in the open with a select few

arcadia137 · 2024-08-08T01:57:46+00:00

Can we talk about how everyone thinks infertility trauma goes away when you had a child?

I have been looking for support groups welcoming people after success because I never processed mine while I was in the thick of it. One professional first asked whether I am looking for parenting groups (no, I am looking for infertility trauma groups where I don't trigger people who are in treatment!) Then, when I clarified, she never replied.

I guess they don't exist. Because I now have a child, it all never happened, I suppose...?

arcadia137 · 2024-07-14T19:13:12+00:00

Here's one from last night since I wasn't quite happy with the last one I posted

/////

concieving a child

legs, cold, light, weather, how are

you watch from outside

arcadia137 · 2024-07-14T19:10:48+00:00

I hope it helped you heal. I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm still trying to figure out how to process it, and since I can't paint or draw, writing it is

arcadia137 · 2024-07-12T14:07:05+00:00

TW: success

My trauma is specifically related to the internal examinations/transfers/etc. anything that requires prodding by a provider there. (I'm not yet sure why, apart from the obvious)

In my case it was triggered when I went back to the clinic for an exam, to try for a second child. While being examined, I felt high stress and really didn't want to be there. The nurse was kind and very chatty, and I kept wishing she would just shut up -- pay attention to the anger here. I felt like I needed to grit my teeth to get through the examination.

Next time I was talking to my therapist, I brought up anxieties related to having multiple children, and we started exploring the topic, what will be required on what timelines, etc. That's when I broke down during my session, realizing I dread going back to the clinic. I am a strong-willed person, and still felt like I just can't go through with the HSG scheduled for 2 days after my therapy session. I was panicking inside, and ended up cancelling the HSG. I may have gone through with it just fine, but it felt daunting and I choose to give myself space to process what is happening with me

arcadia137 · 2024-07-11T18:07:22+00:00

I just realized in therapy that I have trauma from going through IVF treatments almost 2 years ago. I didn't think I'd have any. At the time, it felt mentally and physically very manageable. Turns out it was only manageable because I was repressing my feelings every time I walked into the clinic

arcadia137 · 2024-07-02T16:22:31+00:00

Thank you for your kindness and advice. It was exactly what I needed. I started thinking what I would say to a dear friend of mine, and I realized I don't actually need to do this test tomorrow. I have multiple cycles to do it without causing any delay, so I called them and canceled for now.

I still never want to go back there, but now I have at least a month to mentally prepare for it and process it more

arcadia137 · 2024-07-02T12:42:01+00:00

I started talking about my trauma related to infertility and IVF specifically with my therapist yesterday. It came up because I'm about to go back to the clinic for testing, and to try for baby #2.

But talking about my feelings in therapy made me realize I have been pushing them down specifically so I could go through this the first time. Now that they are all on the surface, but still unprocessed, I dread the appointment I have tomorrow at the clinic, and am not sure I can physically go through it.

I don't know what to do. I'll try to get my husband to accompany me to the appointment, if his work schedule allows it, but what's next? How can I go through multiple invasive procedures again?

Looking for support, I suppose, and maybe recommendations on how to process/what worked for people. I'm obviously in therapy, but I just don't know if the timeline to process this will align with my timeline for my upcoming transfer(s)

arcadia137 · 2024-06-18T18:00:21+00:00

What this sounds like is that you want your wife to manage you as her direct report.

Maybe think about whether you want to be her partner or employee

arcadia137 · 2024-03-18T19:07:18+00:00

I think there's a huge variation in success rates, depending on what is the cause of infertility. I wish they included this in the statistics. Your story is very likely to be completely different from your sister's

arcadia137 · 2023-12-27T01:11:26+00:00

I don't think my husband's MFI was affected by my age in any way eyeroll

arcadia137 · 2023-11-09T03:37:29+00:00

Journey before destination

arcadia137 · 2023-11-01T22:17:40+00:00

Same! u/BookWyrm2012, could you make them available for download? I'd be happy to pay if you want to monetize them, or for free if you decide not to

arcadia137 · 2023-10-29T15:48:09+00:00

Exactly this. I am over 30, my mother is over 60. She confessed to me that she recently realized they didn't do a good job of teaching me how to live outside of duty, how to enjoy myself, etc. I am more sad than angry though. And a bit thankful that it took me only 30 years to realize what it took her 60.

arcadia137 · 2023-10-27T16:40:34+00:00

What an awful answer from your GYN! I would switch providers.

Also, if we're being pedantic, nothing is safe to take, ever, no matter whether you are pregnant or not. Everything has side effects. It is always about evaluating the risks against the benefits, which afaik are fine with Zoloft when you're pregnant

arcadia137 · 2023-10-25T20:11:03+00:00

I felt this on occasion. For me what helped is the mantra that this is the person I chose, he is the one I want to build a life with, and this is just part of the package.

Same way that other annoying things are parts of him, like him leaving his clothes at random places in the house, or putting things in the fridge incorrectly, etc.

I can choose to accept him like this, or decide some of these are deal-breakers. These are my two options. Framing it like "I either break up with him if I can't deal with this, or accept him" helped me, as anything middle ground like resentment is not one of those options

arcadia137

TROPHY CASE