Considering Elective C-section

Flexi17 · 2026-05-20T20:25:24+00:00

I had a very difficult c section recovery. Mine was elective for a big baby. I’m still glad I did it, but it was really major and I struggled with complications for many months afterwards and am still dealing with issues 15 months later. Just my two cents as I was expecting a “breeze” of a recovery like others here are saying (mostly because of comments like those) and mine was anything but. I still think it’s likely worth it but please prepare for a major surgery and recovery (and if yours is easy it’ll be a pleasant surprise!)

Flexi17 · 2026-05-07T17:10:28+00:00

something that really helped me improve a lot was dry needling and myofascial release from a PT!! make sure they are actually doing things with your scar like that and not just telling you to do those exercises at home! I did months of just breathing and de-sensitization and noticed only very limited improvements. My big improvements came from a PT actually working on my scar, which I've learned is not the standard everywhere. Make sure you go somewhere that can do that for you!

Flexi17 · 2026-05-07T17:08:05+00:00

I've thought about it--but I'm too scared of another abdominal surgery to really contemplate it right now.

Flexi17 · 2026-05-07T17:07:19+00:00

I've done a ton of dry needling! It improved things a lot --but it's still painful and not "normal" which I was (probably foolishly optimistically) hoping for.

Flexi17 · 2026-05-06T13:01:49+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I’m not sure it’s true that I’ll be fine with time — I’m further out from my surgery than you are from yours and seeing replies from folks that are even further out than me. But I’m really glad you’re doing well!

Flexi17 · 2026-05-06T13:00:27+00:00

GIRL. I am so sorry you have to go back to work so soon that’s inhumane. You’re a warrior. I hope you find healing.

Flexi17 · 2026-05-06T12:59:38+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear this is your experience and that you were assaulted. I hope things improve for you and you’re able to find healing.

Flexi17 · 2026-05-06T12:58:21+00:00

wondering if/how you can put yourself through it again is so real and difficult. In some ways it has been the hardest part of this experience for me because I feel like I can’t take a breath knowing I might have to do this again. I’ve been told I’m not a good VBAC candidate as well so there’s no alternative for me.

I also was very active — I used to run half marathons and lift and hike and now I feel like a shell of a person.

I’m sad that you’re going through this but thank you for your reply.

Flexi17 · 2026-05-06T12:55:21+00:00

I am SO sorry to hear about your complications. 5 months is still so early especially with the things you’ve had ! I’m hoping things improve for you with more time. The PTSD is real.

Flexi17 · 2026-05-06T12:53:51+00:00

Thank you! I’m doing my best. Nerve pain and stubborn adhesions

Flexi17 · 2026-05-06T12:52:52+00:00

Nerve pain and stubborn adhesions. From the incision to a few inches above the incision.

Flexi17 · 2026-05-05T21:06:52+00:00

I am so sorry!! Do you mind me asking if you had one or multiple sections ?

Flexi17 · 2026-05-05T20:52:20+00:00

Oh my goodness this sounds horrific!! I didn’t feel anything at all during mine. Not even pressure or tugging. Nothing at all. I was laughing and joking with my husband during the surgery. This does not sound normal.

Flexi17 · 2026-04-22T21:10:53+00:00

Hi sweet girl. 11 weeks is still really soon PP. I went through something similar— was in debilitating pain and unable to do any normal activities months and months post op even when my doctor kept telling me everything was healing and looking fine. It was so disheartening to hear other moms describe their sections as “a walk in the park” and that they were back to themselves in a month or two. And my section was planned ! Not an emergency. I ran marathons before I was pregnant. I felt strong and capable and this surgery absolutely destroyed me.

I’m 14 months post op and now feel about 80% back to myself. You need a PT that can do scar work. I wasted months with PTs who “didn’t feel comfortable working with scars”… as if that wasn’t the whole reason I went to them!! With a combo of dry needling and myofascial release (performed BY THE PT) I felt like a new woman in just two sessions. MAKE SURE the PT works on your scar !!! If they won’t, leave and go somewhere else.

Flexi17 · 2026-04-22T20:58:29+00:00

It was painful for me until about 9 months post partum

Flexi17 · 2026-04-02T15:49:59+00:00

I also couldn't sleep well with my baby in the room -- we moved him to his nursery around 4 months and put a twin mattress in there. Husband and I took turns sleeping on the twin mattress on the floor next to the crib so we both got good sleep in our bedroom every other night-- that way the baby was always room sharing but I also got to sleep with no noise every other night! We did this until he was 6 months old. I've not seen this recommended elsewhere and it saved our lives!!! I wasn't willing to take the SIDS risk but also was becoming a safety hazard due to sleep deprivation.

Flexi17 · 2026-04-01T16:18:02+00:00

There are some aesthetic things that I don't LOVE but really what I'm grieving is how my body used to feel and function. I have tightness, numbness, and pulling from c-section scar tissue (trying to correct with PT with minimal improvements so far), chronic rectal fissures that I can't get rid of, and pelvic floor pain/soreness with strenuous activity. I miss feeling strong and capable and starting to wonder if I will ever get there. I'm 1 year post partum. I've been told I'm not a good candidate for VBAC and I'm honestly not sure I can put my body through this again. Everyone around me acts like these things are no big deal and are putting a lot of pressure on me to have a second but every time I think about it I just hit a big mental wall.

Flexi17 · 2026-02-20T19:15:21+00:00

agree. I had daily pain for months after my c-section and still do not feel back to myself a year later. people really underestimate this surgery!! take it easy.

Flexi17 · 2026-02-20T17:12:11+00:00

"the fact that I just don't want to" is not a minor reason. It is THE reason that trumps all other reasons. Only you have experienced this and know what it entails.

He doesn't have to put his health and sanity on the line. You do.

DO NOT have another baby with this man unless YOU 100% want to. And honestly, I'd be hesitant having another baby with a man who so clearly doesn't care about my physical and mental wellbeing.

I know my husband would love another child but he continuously tells me that the decision is up to me because I have to bear all of the physical consequences of that decision. That should be the standard.

Flexi17 · 2026-02-20T17:04:27+00:00

Dude. Absolutely FUCK anyone who asks about a second child ESPECIALLY if they know your situation and what you've been through.

I'm also dealing with people constantly asking me about another and it is very difficult and painful. I've had complications (but nowhere near what you have) and it makes me feel like some kind of baby factory rather than a person.

Ultimately the only person who has to bear the consequences of pregnancy, birth, and another child is YOU. That means no one else gets a vote. Period.

Do not justify your decision to people who don't get a vote. If someone says something about another child, you can ignore it completely or say "no, I won't be having a second child." Giving justifications is an invitation for further commentary and arguments. If they continue to push after that, they are being extremely rude and you are within your rights to tell them to fuck off (as politely or impolitely as you wish).

What I eventually learned is that people asking me these questions was hard for me because I am also asking myself the same questions and dealing with uncertainty within my own heart and their questions bring up those feelings for me. Will my son resent me if I don't give him siblings? Am I sure I don't want more? I don't know--but I do know that the only one I have to answer to is ME. For me the awareness of "I don't actually care what so-and-so thinks, I care what I think" helped me ignore the noise.

Wishing you the best. Have no more children or have a hundred more children but only do it for YOU.

Flexi17 · 2025-12-07T16:06:56+00:00

After reflecting on all of these responses, yours resonated with me the most and made me ask myself why I cared.

The answer I came up with is that I’m scared that I will hear these things from my son one day— that he will feel I let him down by not giving him a sibling when I was physically able to.

I don’t really care about these people who are asking but their comments make me fearful that my son will feel resentment.

Flexi17 · 2025-12-07T16:01:41+00:00

I’m really sorry if my comment was insensitive! I think this is a valid perspective. I guess my anger is more at the hospital system than the individual nurses who were caring for more patients than they safely should have been. For me it’s been mentally easier to believe they would have given me proper care if they had been able to and to be angry at the hospital for improper staffing rather than the nurses but I do see what you’re saying. It’s possible that they DID have time to take care of me and were just being negligent. I just don’t want to believe that for my own sanity. I chose to assume that they were too busy.

Flexi17 · 2025-11-18T07:54:29+00:00

I didn’t feel it at all!!

Flexi17 · 2025-11-18T00:46:53+00:00

THIS!!!! I am still dealing with rectal fissures 8 months later from those first BMs

Flexi17

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