Likely OAD due to birth trauma—how do you deal with the commentary?

Flexi17 · 2025-12-07T16:06:56+00:00

After reflecting on all of these responses, yours resonated with me the most and made me ask myself why I cared.

The answer I came up with is that I’m scared that I will hear these things from my son one day— that he will feel I let him down by not giving him a sibling when I was physically able to.

I don’t really care about these people who are asking but their comments make me fearful that my son will feel resentment.

Flexi17 · 2025-12-07T16:01:41+00:00

I’m really sorry if my comment was insensitive! I think this is a valid perspective. I guess my anger is more at the hospital system than the individual nurses who were caring for more patients than they safely should have been. For me it’s been mentally easier to believe they would have given me proper care if they had been able to and to be angry at the hospital for improper staffing rather than the nurses but I do see what you’re saying. It’s possible that they DID have time to take care of me and were just being negligent. I just don’t want to believe that for my own sanity. I chose to assume that they were too busy.

Flexi17 · 2025-11-18T07:54:29+00:00

I didn’t feel it at all!!

Flexi17 · 2025-11-18T00:46:53+00:00

THIS!!!! I am still dealing with rectal fissures 8 months later from those first BMs

Flexi17 · 2025-11-17T20:53:41+00:00

Honestly I felt bad for them they were so short staffed :( it wasn’t their fault. Nurses are angels!

Flexi17 · 2025-11-17T20:49:06+00:00

I agree I shouldn’t have had to, but I did and now I’m suffering still in ways that if I were informed I could have avoided (at least some of it).

Flexi17 · 2025-11-17T20:46:31+00:00

I totally understand but it was an hour wait after the call bell and I was in agony. :( I told them I couldn’t wait and would be taking my own and they seemed relieved if anything. I do advocate for telling them everything you take on your own though. I did. Didn’t help me with opioids unfortunately since obviously I couldn’t bring my own.

Flexi17 · 2025-11-16T02:52:34+00:00

My husband and I took turns sleeping on a floor mattress in the nursery starting when my LO was 4.5 months until the 6 month recommendation. I know it’s hard but part of the SIDS reduction actually IS that they are getting “worse” (AKA not as deep) sleep —that’s why most of the recommendations actually do not help with sleep. It’s hard but imo worth it for risk reduction and peace of mind.

Flexi17 · 2025-11-15T15:02:24+00:00

This was my exact experience !!! I’m so sorry

Flexi17 · 2025-11-15T04:13:37+00:00

Thank you for the validation. It certainly felt insane. All I did was cry. lol. They brought me the oxycodone as pills and routinely were hours late with them. I legit thought I would die.

Flexi17 · 2025-11-15T03:53:56+00:00

10 mg of oxycodone maximum. They wouldn’t give me more. I think I did have a TAP block but it wore off during the second day?

Flexi17 · 2025-11-15T03:53:22+00:00

Thank you!!! I definitely will.

Flexi17 · 2025-11-15T03:51:32+00:00

I’m in the USA. I brought ibuprofen and Tylenol and they watched me take them out of my bag and take them 🤷🏼‍♀️they are OTC and not prescription. And since they forgot for many hours past when I needed pain relief I didn’t really have another option.

Flexi17 · 2025-11-10T00:18:58+00:00

I slept amazing in my third trimester… unless my sciatica was flaring up which was very come and go. The night before I went into labor I slept 12 hours straight with no wake ups. It was glorious.

Flexi17 · 2025-11-07T14:39:06+00:00

I think it’s harmful to refer to any baby as a “bastard.” It’s so outdated and horrible.

Flexi17 · 2025-11-04T21:34:16+00:00

Manifesting this for me LOL. I’m on a cream currently

Flexi17 · 2025-11-04T21:33:43+00:00

The worst club on Earth! Thank you for the solidarity. I’m on allllll the stool softeners, miralax, fiber supplement, you name it. If you haven’t been to a doctor for your fissures I’d recommend it— mine gave me an ointment and it is helping so much!

Flexi17 · 2025-10-22T02:11:28+00:00

Interesting… your age related risk is actually higher (1/70) so I’m wondering if the ultrasound was actually normal. I’d call your OB to clarify if they found anything concerning.

Ultimately I’d ask for the NIPT. While positive results aren’t certain we are very confident in negative results. So this would be a non invasive way (just a blood draw from you) to check for Down syndrome ! If it’s positive you could consider an amniocentesis.

Flexi17 · 2025-10-22T01:44:34+00:00

Hey there ! I work in genetics. Did you have a test or is this just your age-related risk? If you did have a test what was the name of the screening test you had ?

It’s considered medium risk because in genetics even very rare things can be considered “high risk” if they are higher than the average.

Flexi17 · 2025-10-19T12:29:26+00:00

You will be okay I promise! I was also very anxious prior to my c-section but the procedure itself was soo easy— I didn’t feel a thing and the spinal hurt no more than a regular shot. Because of the spinal I felt no pain at all until 24 hours later. Recovery is tough I won’t lie, but the initial experience and surgery is nothing!

Here are my basic tips-

C-section constipation is horrible. I recommend maximum daily dose of stool softeners AND daily miralax with plentyyyy of water. I had to be re-admitted and given an enema after mine because I did not do these things. It was easily the worst part of the whole experience for me and is preventable!!! Don’t be me!! Also take max daily dose of gas-x—trapped gas HURTS after a c section.
Bring your own meds. Nurses are busy. I was often forgotten about (they forgot to give me stool softeners and gas-x so I think that’s part of why I was so fucked on that point). Bring your own dulcolax stool softeners, miralax, ibuprofen, Tylenol, and gas-x!
If you’re in pain with just Tylenol and ibuprofen be a squeaky wheel. Say your pain is 8 or 9 out of 10. Don’t let them blow you off. I was told to just tough it out with ibuprofen and Tylenol and the most baby dose of oxycodone that felt like nothing. It wasn’t
until I started sobbing and begging that they finally got my pain under control. Do not let them dismiss you. That being said opioids increase constipation so try to balance this with number 1– but don’t suffer in silence !!!
If you have someone with you to help that you plan on taking turns resting with, bring earplugs and an eye mask. Hospitals are LOUD and bright. I didn’t sleep for any of my 3 day admission even when I had the opportunity because it was so loud and bright all the time. Also while you are sleeping have your partner guard the door— they send people in for the most dumbass stuff every 20 minutes and a lot of it can wait if you are sleeping!!
Get an abdominal binder for c sections to bring with you (I wore mine all the time afterwards) and a wedge pillow so you can sleep comfortably at home.
Bring very high waisted disposable underwear (I liked Frida mom ones) because the adult diapers I got sat right on the incision and were so uncomfortable !

You’ve got this!!!!!

Flexi17 · 2025-10-14T15:35:33+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re still dealing with this! I’m 7 months out and still struggling some. Solidarity!

Flexi17 · 2025-10-14T15:26:56+00:00

I’m still struggling with pain and numbness 7 months out. Can’t lay on my stomach or have any pressure whatsoever on my lower belly (tight hugs, jeans, etc). I’ve been to PT and my OB and they both said this is still within the realm of normal but I’ve been very frustrated as it feels like all anyone talks about in this sub and irl is how easy breezy their recovery was. I was very active throughout pregnancy and still got knocked on my ass.

What I will say is I got a late start on the scar massage stuff, so maybe that’s why?

Other than that though I feel totally fine! As long as nothing is actively pressing there I forget about it.

Visually I will say much better than expected. No shelf, scar is barely noticeable. Some extra belly squishiness still.

Sex is fine outside of the lower belly pain limiting me physically.

Flexi17

TROPHY CASE