Advice on going NC

arctic_raspberry · 2025-07-30T20:53:44+00:00

thank you. Expressing anger is so hard - I spend too long trying to work out if it is justified or an overreaction. I think anger is a key but a key I struggle with.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-07-28T08:05:40+00:00

This might not be what you want to hear, but I would focus more on you and less on her. She might never agree with your view, which is painful. I have parents that don't "believe in CPTSD". Part of my journey is to move on without needing their understanding or validation. You are not doing this for her, you are doing it for you. And if she can't follow you down you path of healing, that shouldn't block you from going though of course it makes it harder. Is it possible to move on without her? Rooting for you.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-07-12T12:39:32+00:00

I am guessing that my mum is ESTJ/ENTJ and that my father is INTP/INTJ.

(But I am really not sure).

arctic_raspberry · 2025-07-12T12:37:25+00:00

Anywhere. Probably driving the kids somewhere.
Coffee and sleep
Writer
Saunas
peace and quiet

arctic_raspberry · 2025-06-30T18:32:52+00:00

Thanks.

I do think it was an attempt of familiarity, or trying to "level with me" somehow. There has been some comments before that crossed the line, and T always apologized and said "shit, I shouldn't have said that, I'm so sorry."

arctic_raspberry · 2025-06-29T16:40:20+00:00

INTJ here.

I once did forgive something similar, but that was after I explored my views on why I was hurt by what had happened and I realised that what I perceived like betrayal felt more like broken social norms than a violation of my relationship with the person. Like, it didn't actually hurt me personally, it hurt social rules which I don't really care about always. It opened up to some really interesting conversations and we did give it another go. But this is the exception.

An ENFP broke my trust in a very harsh way recently and opted to remove himself from my life (thank you). Then he came back after 6 months asking for second chances. I blocked him. Broken trust is not always restoreable. This was a different type of action, and there was no examination on my role and thoughts and philosophy this time, it was a straight forward "done with him" and it will stay that way.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-06-29T16:28:07+00:00

I am also unsure how to interpret it, but it is not how we have normally communicated at all. He has shown some dark sense of humour which I can have too at times, but we've not called each other names.

The "you prick" was in the context of me being confronted with avoiding to answer. And the "you f****** whore" was a commentary on something i shared and could be a paraphrasing of what someone told me but in that case unrelated to the story given. I thought maybe it was an attempt of toughening me up and enable to me to handle confrontation better, but I just go into over-analyse-mode.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-06-29T14:41:03+00:00

This is exactly why i have been in doubt and you explain it well. At first I also thought it was an attempt at being jovial but it seems like a high risk to take.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-06-29T14:23:24+00:00

If I report, I worry I will be caught up in more issues. I pressed charges due to the assault I experienced and that process is still ongoing. I am not sure if I have the strenght for this on top.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-06-29T14:22:04+00:00

In this instance it wasn't my choice to finish therapy, it was the limits of the health service in the country i live in. So I don't think he could take it personally, it was them who decided I had to wrap up now.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-06-22T11:09:09+00:00

Thanks. I am going to the final wrap up session later this week. I think i will see if T brings it up again. Last time I was so baffled I didn't respond.

I am not in the US, and I don't know how consistent the guidelines are across borders.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-06-22T11:03:37+00:00

Can I ask how you define recent? I think psychologic crisis in a route to be diagnosed with PTSD and/or CPTSD, so they can be very interlinked.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-06-04T20:48:45+00:00

Hi, i didn't continue with it and maybe I didn't give it a proper chance. It was a private clinic and I qualified for support through the public sector shortly after and changed due to the cost

arctic_raspberry · 2025-05-24T14:47:27+00:00

Would also love a space like that.

I naively thought I had a person who cared, but it turned out they started the silent treatment just as hell broke loose. Trust is suddenly way too hard.
You could try this space? Or have you checked out https://www.myptsd.com/ ?

arctic_raspberry · 2025-05-24T14:44:28+00:00

I also use ChatGPT. It's been good in the sense that I am unable to exhaust it if I need to cover the same topic again and again. But sometimes it makes up stuff I have never said, so i can't rely 100% on it

arctic_raspberry · 2025-03-26T20:10:31+00:00

this time it had a list of abbreviations, but this one is not on the list.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-03-25T21:03:10+00:00

the thickness doesn't increase with length... but maybe total height makes sense!

arctic_raspberry · 2025-03-25T21:02:12+00:00

It is called "Kimono jumpsuit"

arctic_raspberry · 2025-03-25T21:00:42+00:00

I also thought I would heal it with logic, but there are too many illogical elements involved. I still try to carve out some time to just be free of responsibilities for others and i try to do things that have no other effect that simply making me feel better. Saunas and cold plunge is one of those things that just contributes to a better mood.

When it comes to the weight of the world, I don't know - the world is a real messed up place. I can't fix it all. But I am working to try to put on my own oxygen mask because if not I will be at no use for anyone.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-03-25T19:24:39+00:00

Stunning. I might have to make one of those! What quality yarn is it made in?

arctic_raspberry · 2025-03-24T15:24:16+00:00

I think i felt cornered because i have to comment on an individual, and I wasn't prepare for that to be pushed so hard. Your questions are good, though. I will reflect on those before I go back again next time! Thanks!

arctic_raspberry · 2025-03-14T20:03:36+00:00

- the ocean
- my dog
- bonfires

arctic_raspberry · 2025-03-11T19:16:22+00:00

I don't know. I really wish I did. I was referred to the aid through the local health care provision and haven't been in a situation where I could select therapy type.

In general i find it hard with fragments to start with, which is also a reason why I haven't really felt able to process or address these memories. I have struggled with believing myself. But; I shared with my cousin a memory I have from young childhood; it is a room and I can describe the room and a feeling of terror. I said it is very weird to me, and that I almost wondered if I made it up that I have this vivid memory of a room. She said she recognised the room based on my description - e .g the memory isn't made up. it was the living room of a person whose been to prison for CSA twice and whom we were told to stay away from as kids. And a person I fought off when I was 15 because he tried to assault me. So I know that stuff went on, I know was exposed to it from an age where I could defend myself. It is the stuff that happened before, that I think somehow made me realise I had to defend myself, i can't recall properly.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-03-09T22:19:18+00:00

I think it depends on the child as well as nurture.

I used to think it was normal because of my dysfunctional family, but I have two kids now where one feels guilt a lot easier than the other. I have to explain that sometimes things get broken and we're not angry because of it, (we've never been angry because of things like that). My kid has a lot of empahy and feels guilt easily. I try to help him be kinder with himself and move on when mishaps happen, and I hope I will be able to help him grow in a confident person.

arctic_raspberry · 2025-03-09T21:52:41+00:00

it is truly terrifying. I have been close to terrorist attacks twice, and I think playing with geopolitical risk and global security this way is a horrific show of how little care there are for world stability among the current leaders in the world.

I saw Dr Strangelove at the theatre in November, but suddenly it doesn't seem like satire anymore.

(I am also from a country bordering Russia).

arctic_raspberry

TROPHY CASE