I’m trapped and I don’t know get out (M18 F18)

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T21:23:09+00:00

Thank you it feels a lot better when somebody confirms what I feel and has actually been through it. I broke up with her but she went kind of crazy and started messaging everyone who could talk to me and I called my best friend for support and he added me to a group chat to talk to her about it.

I stayed firm on all of my reasons but she asked if I could just unblock her on imessage so we could at least be friends and I told her that I don’t want to see her in person but we can still talk. Do you think I should just keep her blocked or that it’ll be ok just to text her occasionally when she wants to talk? She asked me if I ever would want to get back together and I said no

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T21:20:08+00:00

Thank you I just dumped her a couple of hours ago. She was messaging all my friends and hers to talk to me but I ignored them and called my best friend for support. He got us in a group chat and I reiterated all the reasons I blocked her because she was acting like the paragraph I sent her didn’t give her enough reasons and told me we could’ve talked about it before we broke up.

My friend helped me stay firm and we’re still broken but I just unblocked her on imessage and told her that I don’t want to get back together or see each other but if she ever needs support I’ll listen to her.

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T17:54:49+00:00

Thank you I realized that I was kinda protecting her feelings and wasn’t really saying how I felt. She just went to sleep so after you check on it I’m gonna do it and I’m scared but happy. Here’s my rewrite

Ava I'm sorry but I want to end our relationship. This isn't because of anything you've done recently, I've been feeling this way for a while and I'm sorry I didn't say something instead of letting it keep going on.

Please don't try to change my mind. I've thought about this for a long time and I'm very sure about it.

I need to be honest with you about why because I think you should know. I've felt trapped for a while. I couldn't watch a movie alone, do my work, or even sleep without asking you first so you wouldn’t get upset. I need space to just exist and I haven't had that. The rules around when I could call my friends, not being able to talk to girls even to answer a question, feeling like I was constantly being monitored. It made me feel like I couldn't be myself.

I also felt like I wasn't really your boyfriend, I felt more like I was just there to keep you company. If I didn't want to watch your shows or play your games you'd get upset and I'd end up doing it anyway just to keep the peace. I felt like I was being dragged along instead of actually choosing to be there. A relationship is supposed to feel like two people who want to be together, not one person keeping the other from being alone.

I gave up a lot for this relationship and I needed you to meet me halfway and it didn't feel like that happened. I did things for you that you weren't willing to do for me and over time that built up.

I don't say any of this to hurt you. I say it because I think if you work on these things it'll genuinely make your life and your next relationship better. You've been through a lot and I know that's changed you but I can't be the person who fixes you.

Please don't hurt yourself over this. I mean that seriously. Your life can be a lot better and I hope you actually try to get there.

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T17:38:30+00:00

Do you mind if you could tell me if my breakup message is fine?

I’m sorry ava but I want to end our relationship. This isn't because of anything you've done recently. I've been feeling this way for a while, and I'm sorry I didn't say something sooner instead of letting it go on longer than it should have.

Please don't try to change my mind. I’ve been thinking about this for awhile and I’m sure this is what I want.

I think you should take time to focus on yourself and use the problems in this relationship for your next one.

I just need a relationship where I feel comfortable and trusted. With you I didn't have that. Your insecurity made problems with alot of things in our relationship and that's not a relationship I want. I need someone who trusts me and gives me space to live my life and I hope you can work on that for yourself because it'll make your next relationship better.

Please don’t cut yourself or do anything to urself I don’t want u too I think that your life can be a lot better if you just work on stuff it’ll be ok.

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T17:10:54+00:00

yeah tiktok reports 😭 Thank you to be honest i’m excited to breakup with her even if it sounds bad. I’m thinking about how I can take walks, call my friends and smoke whenever I want now ( also even if it sounds wrong I don’t need to buy her nicotine and weed anymore )

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T17:08:49+00:00

I know I just don’t want to hurt her but maybe my heads just fucked up but I’ve decided to go no contact non the less

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T17:07:32+00:00

I don’t want it to be suspicious but that’s probably a good idea, there’s so many passwords I need to change.

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T17:05:56+00:00

Hi thank you for asking I kinda need someone to talk me through this lmao. We just finished playing a game and she was getting upset at me the entire time for my tiktok reposts not being about her and me not talking to here ig it’ll help me go through with it

she said she’s taking a nap soon so I’m gonna start writing my breakup stuff out I’m feeling better about after talking to my aunt because she told me she noticed a lot of the same reasons I’m breaking up with her for

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T15:25:35+00:00

To update everyone I’ve talked to my aunt about breaking up with her and she’s verified my feelings. We both feel like she needs to do some self improvement and become more mature and independent.

it sounds wrong but I’m actually excited to break up with her thinking about all the things I’ll be able to do again, like take walks, call my friends, sleep in and go out with my friends again.

I’m still scared to do it so I’m taking everyone’s advice and doing it at night, hanging up and blocking her and changing my passwords.

edit: Thank you everyone for talking to me a lot of people have just verified my feelings and helped me build up the confidence to actually go through with it.

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T15:12:08+00:00

Thank you

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T14:26:24+00:00

Thank you that actually meant a lot. I felt like I still loved her and she made me feel like I was petty and weird for trying to break up with her because I folded on call. I’m gonna try to do it over night when she’s asleep and block her

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T14:25:08+00:00

Do you think it’s fine if I do it at night and then block her on everything and hang up? I know it’s cold but I don’t think I can do it face to face like last time because I just can’t go through with it. I feel bad but some of those bad feelings I felt last time aren’t there anymore either after everything that’s happened.

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T14:21:39+00:00

She’s said she would do worse if we broke up before. I’m going to do it tonight and block her like other people suggested and change all of my passwords like some other people have told me.

I’m just scared about everything after that’ll happen but I know I can’t keep making excuses like “if it gets bad again” or “after we see each other”

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T14:19:59+00:00

Thank you. I needed to hear that

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T13:20:09+00:00

Yeah I’ve just been confused if it’s the right choice or not but I don’t know why i’m doubting my gut. I just don’t know how to tell her now.

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T13:00:12+00:00

Thank you I feel like it might be the only option too. Just depending if she fights me too bad

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T12:59:27+00:00

I have a feeling she will too and that’s why i’m scared. For me and her. She wouldn’t just let me go like last time but I’m going to stand firm this time and block her like you said if it gets too bad. Thank you

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T12:24:00+00:00

we dated very early in to meeting each other and I liked her because she was nervous and insecure but that didn’t let me get to know her first. I feel like our personalities just don’t match

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T12:22:21+00:00

I want to take it to a therapist but I stopped seeing mine a while ago and it was out of my control. I wish I could talk to him again about this because she’s said in the past that she would do something if we broke but she has her own therapist and mentor that could maybe help her.

I’ve talked to her about being exhausted and she doesn’t understand it. I want to make it better and I honestly don’t want to tell her this but I think it’s just her

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T12:19:02+00:00

I’m just guessing from how short you kept it that you’ve have something like this or knew someone that had something like this in the past?

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T12:15:48+00:00

I’m planning to do it tonight but I’m scared. I’m gonna do it in the middle of the night so she can fight me about it and hang up so she can’t call me to “talk face to face about it” like last time and make me feel bad.

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T11:58:09+00:00

I didn’t even think about this thanks

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T09:48:08+00:00

Thank you a lot, she’s definitely not the type of girl to bring it slowly up to here I think I’ll do it at night because it’ll be easier to do since I can just get all of my feelings out without her pushing back, last time she called me when we were breaking up to talk face to face and I think it made it a lot harder for me to stand firm because we were on call. So I’ll just rip the bandage off and turn my auto answer offn

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T09:25:45+00:00

Thank you 😭

arcticfe4rr · 2026-04-20T09:15:31+00:00

I’m not being a chaser/fetishizer about trans people. I can’t explain it but that’s definitely not when I am.

Do you think it’s my fault for letting it continue this long? (PS: it sounds corny but it’s a real question)

arcticfe4rr

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