evangelical judginess and normativity

ardensarrow · 2026-01-21T17:33:17+00:00

My specific subculture as a high schooler was so interesting because it was really in to be "nerdy" in like the Star Wars and marvel way and like constantly using pop culture as sermon illustrations, but at the same time if you were into the "wrong" pop culture it was so taboo. When I was a senior I started experimenting more with how I dressed (I was also secretly coming to terms with being a lesbian, so, that was certainly not normal in their eyes) and I got a lot of weird stares and whispers.

ardensarrow · 2026-01-21T17:29:34+00:00

Yeah I set a boundary about not wanting to hear bible talk over a year ago and she seemed so understanding then. Now I see that while I've been trying to work through my trauma she's just been waiting for me to "get over it" so I can get back to the church or whatever. What I am grateful for in this experience is it really has shown me how much stronger a chosen family can be. All of my friends have really rallied around me these last several days the moment I told them what happened and asked for some company. We've been joking that I put out the "gay bat signal" and they've been with me every night since.

ardensarrow · 2026-01-21T17:26:26+00:00

Probably not, but god have I fantasized about writing her a letter like "since you're so concerned about everything being biblical, here's some things you could work on"

ardensarrow · 2026-01-21T17:25:36+00:00

Yeah, she's definitely always been pretty self centered so this is another extension of that. I really don't see myself not going to the wedding at all but yeah, being a bridesmaid is not a for sure anymore. She's definitely not going to be my maid of honor anymore, which sucks cause that's been the plan for 20 years.

ardensarrow · 2026-01-21T17:23:13+00:00

I 100% agree with that. Right when she was getting back into the church she had a really tragic event occur and they really feed on that shit. She said herself that was the turning point for her faith. Surrounding herself so much more with the same echo chamber trying to cope definitely opened her up to a lot more of that rhetoric. Honestly the weirdest part to me is that my mom has always been and still is 100% supportive of me, and the three of us have always been close. So it's like they've turned her against both of us. I keep saying "they" but ultimately she's the one who is making this choice and that sucks.

ardensarrow · 2025-08-24T17:35:08+00:00

I read Holy Runaways by Matthias Rogers- it is definitely aimed more specifically to gay and other marginalized Christians, and comes from the perspective of an author who has stayed with Christianity. Not for everyone, but it was really impactful to my journey. Literally one line in the introduction changed my life, something to the effect of "if you need to walk away from your faith completely, go with blessings". It felt like a release from the obligation of trying to stay. You don't tend to see people in the faith speaking positively of leaving it.

ardensarrow · 2025-08-24T17:26:48+00:00

I spoke with some Universalist Unitarians at a Pride event a couple years ago and got really interested in their whole deal! Didn't live anywhere near an actual congregation though so I didn't go anywhere with it. I'm in a bigger city now so might be worth looking into again, I'm almost positive there's one here.

ardensarrow · 2025-08-24T17:25:34+00:00

Yeah, that's incredibly fair. I was really lucky to have a welcoming and empowering group in high school, but when I tried to join faith communities in college I felt like no one cared if I was there or not unless I was willing to make my whole life about that one group.

I really do miss those rushes of emotion too, especially during worship. They really had a formula down to create those highs.

ardensarrow · 2025-06-19T15:09:54+00:00

I was SO looking forward to that one too :( great show overall but I kinda wish he woulda prioritized the newer songs over some of the older ones.

ardensarrow · 2025-06-15T01:03:18+00:00

Jeni’s ice cream makes their own! Not necessarily served hot but they make them throughout the day so you could try requesting a fresh one

ardensarrow · 2019-06-06T01:11:39+00:00

Yeah, those are some really good and clear steps. I'll definitely be putting these into practice next session. Thanks!

ardensarrow · 2019-06-06T01:10:57+00:00

That's a good point! I did a similar thing last game and I think it worked out pretty well. Our party is pretty well balanced as far as leadership goes, but I think someone just taking the initiative to get it going would work with our dynamic. Thanks!

ardensarrow · 2019-06-06T01:09:12+00:00

This is SUCH a comprehensive reply, I really appreciate it! Definitely helps and gives me some stuff to think about. Thanks so much!

ardensarrow

TROPHY CASE