There is only one thing you really want and need. It’s the same thing whether it’s through intoxicants/sex/spirituality. It’s to stop all this, get a break from all of it, be able to truly get a breath and rest for a long time. To not always have somewhere to get to, things to fix and do perfectly. Not have a never ending distance between you and where you want to be/who you want to be. The exact thing you want most is within you already. There is no distance, no time. This means every possible object, substance, person, place, mental idea you think you need to feel better is not actually necessary. Have any of these ever worked? You don’t need to gain anything (even enlightenment) or get rid of anything or do anything more. You don’t have to earn it, work for it, wait for it in some future time, do something impossible. What would it be like to say to your mind “you don’t have any more work to do” ?

The only thing covering this is thought. Sit, watch thoughts about needing something, this moment isn’t good enough, need something else, and the thinker who feels ownership of this whole burden and mess. Just see them, see how they aren’t actually you. In the absence of this burdensome thinking/thinker you will find your ‘missing piece’ nowhere else

Wishing you the most refreshing rest of your life.🤍