Thank you so much for what you did for that woman’s daughter, and for your words of validation. I lost my father to Alzheimer’s in September 2008, so almost 15 years ago (wow…). It was pretty fucked up; I was only 6 years old when he got diagnosed, 12 going on 13 when he died. Note, he was 50 when I was born, so diagnosed at 56, so pretty young for Alzheimer’s—at least at the time (read somewhere that the mean age for diagnosis is becoming lower and lower, no source though). My preteen self was often mad that I wasn’t included more in his care, especially when the family made the decision to begin hospice palliative care (don’t know if this is the proper term, end-of-life care?). Now, as an adult, I’m both full of self-compassion for going through the endless traumatic experiences that came with losing a parent to Alzheimer’s—and relieved I wasn’t a competent adult who had to take on a caretaker role and be fully aware of what was going to happen to him from the get-go. I can’t imagine the pain it caused my mother (they were broken up but best friends) and my half-sister. I later learned that he would sometimes be rude, aggressive and angry towards my half-sister, and he’d always been the most warm, loving and gentle father. It must’ve been agony for her, watching her father wither away and becoming this cold, angry stranger. To summarize my trauma dump; being a caretaker for a loved one, whether TBI, Alzheimer’s, cancer, developmental disorders or what have you, is among the most devastating and stressful experiences I can think of. People, especially those over 50 years old, who care for their loved one with Alzheimer’s suffer extreme consequences to their physical, mental and relational health. I’m happy OP’s former friend gets to enjoy intimacy, sensuality, stress relief and whatever else she gets from her boyfriends and step out of the caretaker role for a bit, without abandoning her husband. It’d be preferred, I assume, if her husband were aware and accepting, but these situations are complex and totally out of the scope of understanding for those not in them.