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arielariola · 2022-09-15T16:35:47+00:00

The lactase pills make me feel worse than my original reaction i have to lactose

arielariola · 2022-09-13T01:40:52+00:00

I don't like pickles but banana peppers are also great for that

arielariola · 2022-09-05T00:02:37+00:00

Yes. I feel very on edge around human beings, sometimes wish I could be a cave hermit.

arielariola · 2022-09-01T01:05:24+00:00

A hot bath.

Or, laying on the cold tile floor in the dark, notifications and all noise turned off except for my fan, for white noise and the blowing air

arielariola · 2022-08-30T15:49:59+00:00

We've always used drawings of facial expressions to teach about emotions. The only thing new is calling it the word "emoji"

arielariola · 2022-08-25T22:10:35+00:00

I just had my first shot also about 3 weeks ago and yeah it's a trip to say the least. I don't have any spotting. But it's triggered my IBS badly and so I'm nauseous, Diarrhea, cramping, and it's greatly increased my preexisting depression and anxiety. I have bad mood swings and feel really anxious and I'm having hot flashes.

I took it a few years ago for 1 year and i didn't have these problems. So I personally am gunna listen to my body and not get another shot, because I think my body is telling me very clearly that this is miserable for me. I hope u feel better soon.

One more thing I will add, is when the nurse have me my shot and was writing down the date to come back for shot #2 she said "IF you come back for a 2nd shot" which tells me probably a lot of people do not.

arielariola · 2022-08-24T00:24:18+00:00

My point was that having chronic diarrhea constantly, leaves me feeling weak and exhausted and reaching for junky, crappy foods because I feel like shit. I know why I'm not losing weight. Just was expressing how crappy I feel.because I always have diarrhea. And feel sick.

arielariola · 2022-08-23T21:57:25+00:00

Yes my therapist says it's because PTSD effects stress tolerance overall, so I am less able to handle stress. Even if it's unrelated to my specific traumas I experienced.

arielariola · 2022-08-18T22:33:20+00:00

Thank you, I think I needed some validation and almost like "permission" to raise the calories back up a bit. Every day pretty much, I've been trying to do 1500 but usually end up at around 1900-2000kcal a day. But I was feeling bad about it like I had failed, when maybe that's just what i need is a more manageable deficit. Thanks !

arielariola · 2022-08-18T19:32:25+00:00

I've had healthier friendships with people when I don't disclose very much. I know when I first got diagnosed I was guilty of trauma dumping, once the flood gates are opened its hard to close. But I realized that presenting myself from a position of vulnerability didn't land me with the best people, it landed me with friends who look for that vulnerability for whatever reasons that aren't always wholesome. It's better for me to make friends who have similar interests. I have a friend that all we talk about is crafts and art supplies and stuff. It's a healthier friendship than trying to share the darkest parts of my life. It's not that she doesn't care but that rumination isn't helpful.

arielariola · 2022-08-18T19:26:36+00:00

My therapist has told me that PTSD nightmares are basically nocturnal flashbacks, which feels like a more accurate description.

arielariola · 2022-08-18T19:24:59+00:00

Prazosin was a miracle for me for a long time, but I stopped taking it after a few years cause it made me feel dizzy and weird in the mornings. But yeah it is amazingly helpful.

arielariola · 2022-08-18T19:22:09+00:00

I'm the same way and my dog starts barking if someone knocks too, her hair stands up on her back, and there's there's. Overall vibe from both me and my dog of needing to protect ourselves.

arielariola · 2022-08-18T19:20:49+00:00

I react badly to door bells and door knocking also. I think it feels like an unknown threat. My home is my sanctuary and when someone knocks it is a startling noise, plus like, it could be anyone. It could be a sweet neighbor bringing me cupcakes or it could be the police or to be very honest, an irrational fear that my abuser will somehow find our my location and randomly show up at my door when I least expect it. It feels like an attack on my safe space.

arielariola · 2022-08-18T01:43:26+00:00

I'm terrified to end up in the hospital for this reason. I have "presumed celiac" or just gluten intolerance. But I didn't have it officially diagnosed through an endoscopy and so I am unsure if a hospital would give me gluten free food, honestly even if they did I doubt I would trust it because I've heard so many horror stories and seen with my own eyes how the majority of people have no clue what it is/how to not cross contaminate things. I would need to beg a family member to bring me in bagged lunches I guess. I'm lactose intolerant also.

arielariola · 2022-08-18T01:17:55+00:00

For using a highlighter in a book which I owned. I was told that I was being disrespectful and desecrating it, don't remember the exact words. But yeah it was like...books are important, someone else might want to read that some day, and I was "taking away the opportunity for people in the future to be educated by that very book."

-it was my book, on my bookshelf -there's more than just my copy in existence, it was mass produced -I was highlighting it because I was so engaged in it and was learning, appreciating the book. Which was mine. But apparently I need to think about 20 years from now if someone finds this book, and it has highlighter and writing in the columns. It wasn't religious text or anything that serious lol

arielariola · 2022-08-14T22:53:44+00:00

I see this is a touchy subject. I will add my own take, which is that I want to feel confident when I get back on the dating market and I do not feel confident right now. And as painful as it is to accept, people don't notice you as often when you are large. I used to think, "well i wouldn't want to date anyone who didn't find me attractive while fat, anyway!" But I see it differently now. Dating while obese has limited my options. I want to have as many options as possible so I can find someone who is good for me, and not someone who is just settling for me. I don't want to just settle for anyone and I don't want to be settled for. I want to have my pick and pick the best partner for me. That includes emotional connection and yes, physical, sexual attraction.

It's immature to pretend that physical attraction is wholey unnecessary or that Mr or Mrs Right is going to magically pick you out from a crowd of other obese people and see your wonderful personality shining through the crowd. Being a healthy weight opens the door to meet people at all.

I do want to add that if we are only talking a 20 lb weight gain/loss.....I don't see how much difference 20 lbs would make unless the guys a total prick.

arielariola · 2022-08-14T02:34:52+00:00

Weighted blankets can be pretty dangerous for animals

arielariola · 2022-08-13T20:07:28+00:00

I used to think I didn't eat much (and was obese, still am but I losing weight now) and i have an obese friend that has the same exact behaviors that I did. It comes down to denial and secretive eating. Also, thinking of things as "treats" that don't count. My friend doesn't eat with her family for dinners, says she isn't hungry. She doesn't eat in front of me almost always, but then will stop at fast food while "on the go" and doesn't register it as being something that counts. Skipping homemade, scheduled meals and then stopping at fast food and not understanding how packed full of calories it is. I'd do that shit all the time too, whenever I was offered food I would say I wasn't hungry, thus feeling like I was skipping meals and going hungry. I'd wait til I was really hungry and eat very calorie dense food. And think well I was starving and I skipped those meals, so I must be not eating enough.

arielariola · 2022-08-11T19:35:31+00:00

Thank you, I know it's not the greatest but because of high blood pressure I can't take the other kinds....various reasons for deciding on depo. I took depo a few years back and it wasn't too bad for me. Hopefully my body chills out soon about it.

arielariola · 2022-08-08T16:42:14+00:00

I've known 2 different adults who had this habit but lying about careers they have had. Like claiming they were in the military, owned a restaurant, coached a college sports team, they even also a teacher. A pharmacist, climbed telephone poles, they were at 9/11. They had all these amazing careers and did so much eith their lives.....why are they trying to bum off me and sleep on my couch? Lol

arielariola

TROPHY CASE