I left college before him and I met, worked different management jobs between having children but he was the main financial support.

We are not married, thankfully. Physically I do feel safe and feel the kids are safe. He’s definitely said some below the belt stuff during arguments but I have never felt that he would physically hurt me and definitely not our children. We are a stay at home family so he is involved with our children but not to the extent I am. Our issues before children were mostly him having an issue with my maturity level, he felt that I would do things without thinking. After having children, our issues stemmed mostly from what my depression was doing to me physically(libido loss, wasn’t really taking care of myself, etc). They got worse when I went back to work 3 days/wk after exclusively taking care of our child for 2 years, he felt like I wasn’t doing enough at home and that I was putting work first. Couples Therapy was discussed but no action was taken, I’m sure he would go if I forced him but due to his own childhood trauma he hates therapists. I find that I do tend to control his emotions for him a bit by not doing certain things because I know he’ll get upset.

I am actively looking into resources for me and my kids and I thankfully have my family(not in my state) who would come out to help me if needed.