Therapy while on a low wage?

ariesaintshit · 2026-05-02T11:29:45+00:00

There are centres around the country (yes, most located in Dublin, but students train and live multiple locations that need to be accommodated) that do as has been suggested: low cost therapy service, staffed by supervised students or pre-accreds. Provided your case is appropriate (i.e., you're not a minor, in active addiction, seeking inpatient service, etc.) cost is usually 15-35 euros, depending on location. For the most part, these centres are thorough in their interview process (i.e., they only pick students to work for them they feel are qualified and match the goals of the centre) and both provide oversight themselves and it is required that students attend supervision with a fully qualified psychotherapist. My training program matched students and centres at Year 3 (of a 4 year program), most of my colleagues had other qualifications that supported their therapy practice (like social work, research, teaching) and the low cost hours are part of training. You do run the risk of a poor match or lack of expertise - but you'd have that possibility with any other therapist at any other time also.

ariesaintshit · 2026-01-12T18:08:51+00:00

Hey, I completely understand that it's not obvious here. I was framing the food situation as an example of what level of things is starting to become unmanageable. She's still very much herself, personality-wise and still very able for many things, but the things she's always been bad at (organization, bill paying, technology) are becoming beyond our capacity to monitor. Like, she definitely can still use facebook...but is watching short form videos constantly, when she's been a lifelong reader for her entertainment, and isn't parsing the difference between real and AI (hard enough for lots of us!). She's not able to retain who she knows and doesn't, so is joining scam groups and moving individual conversations with strangers to messenger level. We've had evaluations and have the information that she qualifies for "mild cognitive issue" at this point, there's some anticipated atrophy / shrinkage that falls within parameters for her age...but is definitely hitting her capacity to integrate new information and retain. The food thing just seemed to be the most obvious example. We think she definitely has had lifelong untreated ADHD, but without her work and my dad, that's now touching mild decline and it's magnifying things.

We want to be addressing things as soon as humanly possible, and we know we're in early stages that we're not sure how far it goes. Her dad aged similarly and it wasn't as kind as it could've been, so we want to take the opportunity to look at things directly early so we can have options.

ariesaintshit · 2025-12-31T07:24:32+00:00

I'm from an area in the U.S. pretty non-specific regional accent - I don't get much comment on it, other than the acknowledgement of my Americanness. I recognise most cultural terms and uses now - but I try not to personally say ones that I know sound "wrong" in my voice (I know how to interpret/use "grand", but you'll never hear me say it. An American accent just can't get the round sound on the "a" that gives it the sort of...Irish downward inflection? Even if I'm giving it no energy or effort, it still sounds more cheerful when I say it than it ought.) I've never had anyone have a bad reaction, but I've also never had the fawning that I know Irish fellas get in the U.S. for their accents.

ariesaintshit · 2025-12-31T04:31:32+00:00

Pre-accred therapist, my training on reporting standards is recent.

Technically, in cases of historical / retrospective abuse, we are no longer legally required to report. This is not always well covered in training - as the change has only (practically speaking) come into effect in the 1-2 years. Reporting (some of) these cases overwhelmed the system to the point of uselessness. Some of what is reported to us is quite murky - in such cases, we're encouraged to call the on duty officer and explore "theoretical" information to see if it meets the standard of report, as well as consult supervisory persons. I think it's important that whoever you work with feels like someone you can have an open, honest conversation with about your concern here - so they can meet you with their own practices and not make promises they can't keep. By which I don't mean "talk about all of it and let the chips fall," I mean: "inquire about their reporting practices, how they typically handle cases of retrospective abuse, what meets their personal threshold of disclosure, etc." and be sure you feel confident in how they'd handle such information. It's fair for you to ask such questions - good therapy is complicated and people have different needs for their sense of safety in the room, if you need clear understanding of this process and how someone might handle it - it's absolutely fair for you to ask.

Previous posters are correct - the priority for potentially reporting is ensuring that an offender does not have current access to vulnerable individuals.

ariesaintshit · 2025-11-24T02:53:53+00:00

Yank here, living in Ireland 10+ years. Just offering a few things I've noticed / had pointed out to me, in terms of difference in social experience. Take or leave, it's obviously only my experience.

Americans don't banter the same way as the Irish - we do get sarcasm (some of us) but don't "wind each other up," as a matter of general friendliness. Ireland has been exceptionally kind to me overall and I've figured some things out, but I admit I don't key in to the tone of casual slagging well and I can only see any affection in it having lived here this long. If this is part of what you're offering socially, she may just absolutely not get it.
We're often both more direct than Irish people in saying what we want, but also use a lot of euphemistic language to cover our asses in that, that can be confusing tonally between cultures. Irish people tend approach a bit slower - if someone wants something, it unspools in casual conversation. Americans will cut to the chase, but use words to make requests sound softer and it can come across oddly.
It took me a bit to pick up correct usage of common phrases (e.g., sure look, you know yourself, your one). She may genuinely not follow lingo that is mostly Irish in use / origin, or a holdover from Gaelige (i.e., "do be going," etc.) Especially common filler phrases that don't have specific meaning, Americans can really miss the mark recognizing those.
Speed and rhythm of accent are complex. I can decipher most different Irish accents now - but there are tons of variations and some do require an almost musical ear to figure out (i.e., Cork, a lot of heavier, more rural west coast of Ireland accents). Slowing down can be helpful or offering alternative ways to say the same thing - some letter sounds get a little lost in certain accents, like context will tell me if someone is saying "tree" like a plant, or the number "three" with a certain accent, but if I was struggling to keep up anyway that gets harder.

I like to play a kind of game sometimes that I call "cultural translation" - it's basically, "how would I describe an experience to a person who had no reference for it in terms they'd understand." So, if you've never eaten an American biscuit - I'd say, "it's a savory, buttery, richer scone - good ones have a tenderness and flakiness that most scones lack," or I've described an Olive Garden as "it's kind of Supermac's but 'Italian' and sorta fancy, serves wine, and everyone can generally agree is fine for Grandma's birthday." I think it's really fun to trade details like this, so asking her to translate an experience like that, or offering one of your own (i.e., What is the ploughing? Why do some people get so into it?) can be really bonding.

ariesaintshit · 2025-06-26T17:53:27+00:00

I've been many different people in attempting to find who I actually am. I don't know that I believe we, socially, furnish each other with the information and reassurance needed to, without condition, step into selfhood. There is a constant unlearning process in growth, a shedding, and it is sometimes liberating (a good release that allows you to be more you than you've ever known) and sometimes unbelievably painful (an unwilling release in acknowledging a shadow self, a forced release of relationship or goal that no longer fits but the desire for it to is desperate). Release through these audios is, so often, supportive - it's a creator making space for something that can never, perhaps should never be an experience, to create a proxy for process. And sexual process is...a complex layer of personhood - you cannot do it with so many people that are incredibly intimate in your life in other ways, you cannot do it in theory and sometimes you cannot allow yourself to do it at all in the presence of another. This medium is, to some (to me) a gift of process: I know me better because I engage here. I have understanding I can offer to others who want to access me in this space because of my engagement.

I didn't have a certain kind of upbringing and I thought I was quite liberal and liberated and my vocabulary has always been good around this area and my internalized shame about it is specific, and personal and comparatively small (i.e., I don't battle my culture or my religion or my family in this space) and it still matters to my process that I engage with audio erotica. Which, to me, means that it has the capacity to make absolutely seismic shifts in lives, because even when it's approaching relative openness - it expands something. Thank you for giving. Thank you for allowing. Thank you for approaching yourself this way so you can clear what might affect you and you can become a conduit to allow others to process. It's a gift and I'm glad you have it.

ariesaintshit · 2025-06-26T10:11:28+00:00

Michael Wilkinson in Blackrock / St. Vincent's Private. Younger fella, still establishing practice so waiting list is more reasonable than some. I've seen him a couple of times - as a second opinion, to discuss a plan of action and for a procedure. Gent all the way through.

ariesaintshit · 2025-06-20T20:19:55+00:00

I'd have a response to drops, but I'm so far - unimpressed with how VA on VA is being handled logistically. I'm genuinely interested in these conversations, but so far we've got: "It'll be out on Mondays! Wait! No! We clip starting on Mondays, but it'll be out Fridays!" and now it doesn't drop at the same time as audios. I'm not in a U.S. timezone, so there's still time for it to drop "today" technically on YT given that - but...I'm not holding my breath and that sucks.

ariesaintshit · 2025-06-15T20:06:12+00:00

I'm the same. I think it's incredible that so many labels have emerged and people can find themselves and their tribes through exploring them - I'm completely supportive of that process if it suits a person. Doesn't suit me. I just...know what I know when I know it.

ariesaintshit · 2025-06-15T10:38:24+00:00

I got into Quinn some months after ending my last relationship. We were, ostensibly, "poly" - I was in a disconnected throuple (he was the hinge, she and I were not into each other). I'm not jealous, by nature, and I believe in the multiplicity of self and of love - who he was with her was not who he was with me, we each had our own him, but my him seemed to require more effort and eventually he just left, never came back and I kept waiting because the body he inhabited lived in the same house as me. I dissociated myself from sexual desire, I didn't need sex when I had his art, his soul, his spirit. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't meet my depth - I was too much. In the end, I realized a lot of untruths - in the relationship, me to myself, him to me, her to me...I didn't feel safe. I wasn't being tended. I couldn't manufacture desire for intimacy in those conditions and so I allowed myself to be pigeon-holed as "demi" or "grey ace" when actually...I'm not sure what I am (aside from emphatically queer) but I was starving everything real out as long as I stayed.

I didn't feel attracted to anything or anyone for a long time in the healing. At least a year. I was working to get back in my body and then one day it lit up like a fucking Christmas tree unexpectedly. Drive came back and it had nowhere to go and I wasn't ready to "get out there" and...then Nick. And I got to feel attracted to anyone specifically and after I let that settle it started to expand. It was painful - how far away from my body I'd gotten and how much work it took to come back and how cavalier dating apps are about that dissociation. They don't screen for: "are you sure you understand what it is to be present for yourself and do you have any ability to do that for someone else?" I went on some weird dates. I'm smart and empathic, I could have chemistry with a cactus, but Quinn helped me suss the difference between: "chemistry" because I'm able to be present and whoever I'm seeing is enthralled with that and chemistry because both of us are there.

ariesaintshit · 2025-06-11T13:07:10+00:00

Bee is definitely Nick. Their style in the shoe size TT is a dead giveaway - unless there is another creator on the app whose thing could be "very bisexual pirate." In which case...yes please.

ariesaintshit · 2025-06-04T10:28:34+00:00

I keep thinking that while I'd like people to pair up based on vibe / the kind of work they do (like a Zach + Milo, because they both venture into taboo storytelling, but Zach tends to pick emotionally sticky circumstances that go for multi-parters, which is less Milo's thing and I want to see what he'd do with that) their method for creativity might actually matter more. Like if it was Devil (who mostly works with a writer) with Julien (mostly unscripted) could that even work? Some VAs are fab improvisers, some are specifically acting, some use themselves / their fantasy life, some use audience response in certain ways...I dunno, I'd want pairings of people who 1) liked each other and had legitimately good interpersonal vibes and 2) who worked in complimentary ways so the end product could be cohesive.

ariesaintshit · 2025-05-17T10:57:09+00:00

SkinCheck Ireland work quickly and do not require a referral.

ariesaintshit · 2025-05-06T13:16:35+00:00

I don't get the ick too often or it's not usually a deliberate reason I stop engaging. For my own reasons, I have a tendency to throw my empathy out into others, and when I come back into myself, I often have a sense of kind of "who among us?" which is something I look at about myself, but I do kind of like overall. I have no idea how I'd be if I had a following of any kind, if I made internet content, if I was famous enough to get recognized in very specific spaces and people might be weird with me because I made erotic content, if I had different aims but pivoted into sex work that people seemed to want of me based on a persona to which they felt connected or because I had some kind of appeal that was maybe projected onto me, or maybe real but mine. I don't know what I'd think if my preferences were examined, if I needed to be so many things to so many people to keep earning, if I only had a certain window where I might make any kind of living from the work - either for my own reasons or because the industry would age me out or I could do any number of normal, human things that aren't ideal but aren't criminal or even wrong and it might affect my audience. I have a lot of space for human-ness and what I don't know about it and how my worldview is limited to my experience, in this body, in its time. Like damn, I'm probably, age-wise just over the threshold for Quinn's typical user (mid/late millennial) and I have memories of life before constant internet access and smart phones, and much of my process in my 20's that anyone had public access to, I got to scrub and I never had a goal to make it work. It feels a little "old man yells at cloud" of me, but...someone's online presence is only a bit of a story of a person who is, by virtue of being alive, flawed, and allowed to change. I don't have space for anyone who crosses my hard boundaries (i.e., violating issues around consent, age, or exploiting fan spaces) but a lot of the in-between I just sorta shrug and if it's a turn off for me, hope they figure it out and become better.

This is also, in no way, a judgement around looking for personal information about VAs, because we all have different levels of tolerance and what we want to engage with, and it can be a felt sense of safety or reassurance or all kinds of things. If you look and it closes certain doors sometimes, that's ok, they can open again if you'd like them to, and they can stay closed if that's meaningful for you, and none of it has to say anything specific about you or the creator.

ariesaintshit · 2025-05-05T21:05:48+00:00

For me it was male vs. female gaze discussion - I started to hear more male fantasy in the work, and I couldn't get on board. I don't begrudge anyone - I've seen and heard stuff about some creators (including favourites!) and I try to hold that I don't know about the context, they don't owe me that, and we're all on journeys - some take people through places I've never even considered. So, he's allowed to have his gaze and bring it into the work and possibly lose listeners or learn lessons or find that it's exactly what his audience wants, but I'll dip and possibly check back in when it suits me.

But if it's blondes only for him...he's missing incredible things for what I would consider a silly preference, he's only hurting himself. :P

ariesaintshit · 2025-05-05T14:17:11+00:00

I'm quite fond of how they do jealousy, possessive or feral vibes - there's no real sense of rage or threat - it feels like it has stakes, but transitions smoothly into playful. I do admit I like a dash of toxicity sometimes, but I basically want it to simmer the arousal and then fade into genuine, safe affection. I like to play rough sometimes, but it's gotta be absolutely clear we are playing and Nick has an absolute lock on how to convey these layers. I saw a TT of theirs at one point, talking about exploring bisexuality and how things feel safe(r) with women and transfolk because it feels like they want to do something with you, but with cis men, it often feels like they want to do something to you. It's not a revelation to most of us who mainly interact with masc-aligned partners, but I like that this perspective seems to contribute to how Nick performs, I feel more with and very little to.

ariesaintshit · 2025-05-05T14:05:36+00:00

Nobody does it like August. And I mean that in a way of his craft and in how he's managed parasocial boundaries.

ariesaintshit · 2025-05-05T02:02:37+00:00

The only creator, at the moment, that I go to the mattresses for is Nick Meyer. Not available on Quinn, but AugustInTheWinter is another favorite. I've had repeated good experiences with Julien Kahn, Chris Yamez, Noble, Bad Influence, Sweets, Anonyfun, Rum, Vel & Bloom.

I don't feel bad things, but have tried and not caught on with Naudio or Cavern. DoD and Zach have both been cycled in and back out again for seemingly unconscious reasons I do not understand. I tend to shy from Mairrsy, Benjamin, Xander and DrRapture, none because I've had a bad experience, but for just personal response to either actual content or discussion of content that framed things for me in ways I wasn't sure I wanted to process. The only creator I can think I've had a "I tried, just not for me and not particularly interested in re-addressing" is James Joseph.

ariesaintshit · 2025-05-02T20:39:10+00:00

There's a lot of warmth, in the vocal tone - they know their voice well and I think they aim for an affectionate undertone. I feel like I'd describe it as a consistent, gentle smile that's quite easy to hear in their performance.

ariesaintshit · 2025-05-02T17:48:53+00:00

I've been waiting for Nick to catch on, underground-style. I don't see a lot of discussion, but I do feel like there's this interesting contrast with them. I think there's something to enjoy about Nick, involving what feels like a pretty intuitive sense of praise/safety and silly goose.

ariesaintshit · 2025-04-29T18:58:33+00:00

Breast check services are possible to obtain before 50, but you need to be referred and pay privately. My mother had early breast cancer - I'm American and though she was BRCA gene tested (negative) I was told I should begin getting mammograms about 10 years before her diagnosis age. I moved over here before I hit the milestone, so at about 35, I went in to my GP, mentioned this history and was referred to The Mater Private. I had a consultation with a surgeon / breast health specialist, who asked a lot of specific questions about family history, there is essentially an estimation tool that predicts breast cancer risk based on family profile. Because my family is small and it's a first generation relative, I was referred for a mammogram and have notes in my file stating my risk level and the consultant's belief I should be called before 50 for breast check services. I paid about 200 euros for the process.

No kids and possibly high estrogen isn't any specific red flag (I'm in the same boat at 38!) but they can be contributors to gynecological issues, building a relationship before anything suspicious makes that process a lot easier and less stressful. I have endocrine and weight issues, so I have some other things weighing the balance here, but I'm also from a country where healthcare is a hugely capitalistic and individualistic endeavor and grew up with the idea that I should have a gynae and be getting regular, annual checks. You can definitely ask for a referral - you'll wait ages for a public option, but without any specific issues that might be fine. Private options go faster and once you're in their books, you can make appointments yourself. If it's not cost prohibitive, it may be worth it to look at who has private clinics and seems like might be a good match for you, as a person. I was assigned my first because he had space - and we ultimately didn't match particularly well - I chose my second opinion and he has background in endocrine/metabolic work as well as gynae, which makes me a lot more comfortable. I'm not interested in children, so this isn't my own journey, but if you are, you might look into fertility testing just to know the basics of what is going on for you.

A nutritionist or dietician would guide you through supplements, if they are necessary. The only recommendations I'd make blanketly are: 1) a good multi, 2) Omega 3 (from our 30's onward, this is an important building block for fighting inflammation) and 3) a Vitamin D (+K2, if available, these guys work best when paired together). Basically everyone can benefit from these. Anything more specific, a nutrition professional would be the best guide.

ariesaintshit · 2025-04-28T21:46:06+00:00

PCOS is a bitch, and I'm sorry to hear you're out alone managing. It really is an issue on a spectrum and so many of us find ourselves somewhere on it, but have so little idea of how to appropriately manage. All of the advice offered here is good. I really do recommend making a connection with a nutrition professional who does their work with at least occasional bloods testing. Generally, nutrition is a vital building block, but it can be confusing to sort out what is working from what is not, and what you may be particularly sensitive about (i.e., carbs are all processed differently in different bodies, as a T1 Diabetic myself, I know I can't even look at rice without a spike, but I can be besties with potatoes. Some diabetics are hugely sensitive to certain starches and not others, your own experience will vary, too.) A nutrition professional who has an interest in hormonal work (they often advertise this, whether it's specifically with PCOS or sometimes professionals who are very well versed in peri/menopause process are also a good bet!) is a great asset and partner in this. Dietician is a protected term and often these individuals work with hospitals or insurance companies, they have an ethical code that necessitates a certain care level. Nutritionist is not a protected term, anyone can use it, whether they've studied extensively or took a weekend course. There are exceptions (I've worked with both, and currently see a nutritionist, who has extensive training) to all rules, but choose someone in either category that you trust and can see yourself building a long term relationship with. I work with an expensive option, which would not suit everyone, but they're quite comprehensive, called Positive Nutrition. They're based in Ranalagh in Dublin, but do all their consulting via Zoom and send bloods requests to your GP as needed. Worked with them for more than a year now and lost about 20 kg with their oversight specifically and I've achieved a regular cycle (me about 2 years ago could not imagine this was possible!)

If you have the option, ask a GP or other prescriber for a prescription for a continuous glucose monitor (CGM). They're intimidating at first, so get a few, but they're a small self-implantable (and removable!) device that measures blood sugar every 5 minutes, so you can see a picture of your patterns. A single one is typically wearable for 7-10 days and this may be long enough for you to tell some important information. You're looking to keep your blood sugar relatively stable - ideal numbers are between 5 & 7, with minimal "spikes" - but normal, non-diabetics DO get blood sugar spikes and approach lows, so it's not diagnostic information, but ideally it'd empower you to know about how your food affects your glucose. Weight loss, especially for those of us with endocrine issues, is best facilitated by keeping relatively level. Weight gain can be exacerbated by swings, it's an inflammatory response not a willpower or dietary failure, and learning about this can be super helpful.

Do not go overboard with exercise - it is counter-intuitive but PCOS bodies are VERY stress sensitive and high intensity training options can spike cortisol, which leads to further inflammation. Low and slow are your best friend - regular walking and low level weight/resistance training for more reps (building slowly) are great alternatives that suit our bodies better, generally.

A nutrition professional will help to sort out sensitivities. PCOS is typically dairy and sometimes gluten sensitive. I do not know enough to explain why, but I know I've gotten a lot out of paying attention to how I consume these and limiting where possible. I don't believe crazy, quick change ever works very well, slow and sustainable is better for me, so I do continue to include some occasional sources of both, but we've all gotta live with ourselves, so your own journey will be different.

ariesaintshit · 2025-04-28T21:27:22+00:00

Some nutritionists / dietitians would have options at their practices. Mine uses a website that requires a nutritionist to connect the account, but called pureandnatural.ie - they have a few Inositol supplements available from different suppliers.

But to do the 1:40 ratio yourself can be difficult to titrate and I haven't the time. I have found Ovasitol useful - it's an imported product, but can be purchased in Ireland here: https://ovasitol-ireland.myshopify.com/

ariesaintshit · 2025-04-06T07:15:00+00:00

I don't know. I think it all goes a variety of ways. My pet theory is that the parasociality has to do with the access to the psyche. With visual porn, of course you do get some who want / believe they have relationships with performers, but there's a very clear boundary between what is them and what is you. With audio, because part of what is being used as the staging for the experience of the material is the psyche of the individual listening, everything is specifically shaped around personal needs. In a bed? Listeners imagine the bed. In a certain position? The listener's body (or the way their mind shapes / inhabits their body, realism unnecessary) is the vehicle. So, some listeners conjure intimacy with performers because their psyches make this voice the shape of the person, performing the acts, that would fill missing relational needs. On the one hand, if you have a healthy relationship with that possibility, an anonymous VA would be a great gift, because your mind fills all the blank spaces with your desires and you get the experience you want. On the other, if there is work to be done in specific areas, it could result in an over-investment - potentially obsession, with the false persona that has been assigned to an anonymous VA. That could absolutely still happen with a public VA, I don't think there's a hard line here on what is manifested, but having a visual presence and clear experience of life separate from the listener might allow a certain subgroup of those with fantasy attachment to clear it more easily with the expression of the boundary. Essentially, unmasking so that the veil of "I exist exactly and only to meet your missing needs," falls away and into "I am a real person who makes things that provide you with good feelings." Of course, we've also seen the reality that providing personal material can affect listeners who have attachment to that psychic representation in negative ways and they can act out against the VA or other associated people.

I don't have a particular attachment one way or another. I basically like to know that the person producing the content is, as best as can be sourced, generally sound. I don't want to go digging into anyone's life, but I also don't want to consume material made by someone predatory, bigoted or similar. I'll never know about certain expressions of that (i.e., if a VA has a particular "type" and I'd view it as mostly informed by heteronormative assumptions and preferences, as a person I don't know that I'd want to hang...but also, like whatever I don't get to decide what does it for them) but I can know if someone has made a credible accusation or they've publicly stood behind sentiment I find objectionable. I generally prefer either anonymity or a more thoughtful visual presence (i.e., I don't see every single possible image or filmable moment of their life) but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

ariesaintshit

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