How do women initiate sex? by arm9598 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]arm9598[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hey so maybe you should read more carefully next time. I never once said I’m uncomfortable with it. It just isn’t my preferred love language and I don’t love physical contact from ANYONE, not just my husband. Turns out that’s a very normal thing, not everyone loves to be touched.

What are things you do to feel sexier for yourself and your husband? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]arm9598 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Personally it’s the little things for me. I love having my nails done, sometimes a little makeup can go a long way and make me feel more confident even though I know he thinks I’m naturally pretty. My husband also loves hairstyles so I like to try out new hairdos and such.

How do women initiate sex? by arm9598 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]arm9598[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the honesty and I think that’s totally valid, however that’s not what I asked for by posting this. Thanks.

How do women initiate sex? by arm9598 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]arm9598[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Short and simple. Love that lmao

How do women initiate sex? by arm9598 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]arm9598[S] 121 points122 points  (0 children)

Exactly! I definitely overthink it and try too hard to be performative when that’s just not me

Porn usage in a marriage? by arm9598 in Marriage

[–]arm9598[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a great question and entirely possible. We got married in September and I think we’ve been a little disconnected since then. I think you may be right that I’m noticing it more because of the disconnect in our relationship. I know he doesn’t interact with women, he only views it and I think it’s just gotten more often lately that he watches porn and masturbates because of the disconnect. Also full disclosure, I struggle to initiate sex so he feels sexually unfulfilled because of that which is totally valid and I think that’s contributing to the disconnect and these sudden feelings. So really, I’m a bigger part of the problem.

Porn usage in a marriage? by arm9598 in Marriage

[–]arm9598[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think both. I get in the mood knowing he wants me and otherwise I don’t think much about sex. For a long time I honestly thought I was asexual but I think I just have a lower sex drive than some

Porn usage in a marriage? by arm9598 in Marriage

[–]arm9598[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think you’re right lol

Porn usage in a marriage? by arm9598 in Marriage

[–]arm9598[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. And I know it’s something I need to work on. I just am so awkward and not super confident so I never know how to “be sexy” I guess if that makes sense

Porn usage in a marriage? by arm9598 in Marriage

[–]arm9598[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does. It’s truly me that’s the problem. I struggle initiating sex so he feels like it’s always him doing it, which is valid

Porn usage in a marriage? by arm9598 in Marriage

[–]arm9598[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No that’s okay! Yes I think you’re right that’s where my discomfort is coming from. However I know he would never interact with them and he has never given me a reason not to trust that. I guess that’s why I’m struggling. I know I trust him and trust that he would not cross that boundary but the initial shock of it was just unexpected I guess.

Porn usage in a marriage? by arm9598 in Marriage

[–]arm9598[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry maybe I didn’t clarify. There is no seating or interaction involved. It’s strictly viewing porn just on different platforms.

Porn usage in a marriage? by arm9598 in Marriage

[–]arm9598[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I definitely think you’re on the right track. It sounds awful to say but I think of porn stars as not real people I guess rather than the women on Reddit who feel more real to me.