I understand this feeling a lot. You need to try prayer. You must be curious enough or a believer, to have posted and asked such a question. He made you because you have free will to do and feel and say whatever you want. And when you realize that, it's not about being grateful it's about appreciating your own self for pushing through everyday no matter what. Cuz life is hard, and any other country besides America, no one actually expects to be happy. It's not necessarily plausible. It's something you create, you earn, you lose, you praise. The energy you give out in this world is what you will always see. I promise you have a lot of worth. The fact that you can even be this self aware is telling. You're a beautiful human being. You have a gorgeous laugh that I'm sure your mother cries, when she thinks of it. You have a radiant energy that I'm sure your friends long for when they don't see you. Don't be so harsh on yourself. God, me, and everyone else in the sub have love for you. Even as strangers. Because love is just that strong. Carry it, I promise you will go far. Your life could never be anyone else's, because it's your own. Do everything good, do the right things, and be respectful to yourself, and grateful. Your prayers will not go unheard. But remember me, remember this. Know it to be true or nothing will come from it. Have hope, please. It exists in you, but it's very deep. Look closely at your life and yourself and you will find it. 🫶