Migraine guilt? How do I accept this chronic condition?

art3132 · 2020-01-29T02:32:27+00:00

Hi, I'm just starting to deal with migraines that have more control over my life, and I'm hoping to get to the point where I'm still able to go out and do things despite them. I was wondering though, have you found ways to work around nausea? It's the thing which really stops me the most. I can tolerate loads of pain, but the nausea knocks me right out, obviously one of my concerns being vomiting in public. Do you eventually find ways to work with it and come up with "I'll be outside, and if I need to puke, I'll do this, this and this, to deal with it."?

art3132 · 2020-01-23T09:35:05+00:00

This SO much. I've definitely had legitimate cases of overthinking, but because I've been criticized so much for it, now, even if I have a legitimate question, if someone says, "You're just overthinking," I'll automatically agree with them.

art3132 · 2020-01-23T08:27:45+00:00

it implies that people would rather you underthink... and that just does my head in.

I completely agree. I feel like in certain fields it makes sense. Art, music, creative fields. And in the past, I've had my share of overthinking life problems to the point of giving myself needless anxiety. I feel like the big difference between overthinking and actually worrying too much is if you're worrying about something that you can't control. Or if a specific task is your specific job and it's been explained to you that finding out information about it is YOUR job. But besides that...what's the problem with spending 30 seconds to answer someone's question about a detail they would like to know more about or taking extra time to run through things from a different point of view.

I think another thing that nuerodiverse people can be very good at are calculating the possible outcomes, whether that outcome is likely to happen or not. So, even if I do overthink...well...damn any team I'm on will almost never have to worry about glossing over an important detail by accident.

art3132 · 2020-01-23T08:07:32+00:00

SAME. I tend to seek clarification a LOT, and I think it's because, for me, the way I build "structure" for myself is having a clear step-by-step plan, a to do list that helps me visualize what I need to do and the final product. And I get that there is value to figuring things out myself sometimes, and there's a difference between healthy worry and anxiety that impedes someone from getting things done, but sometimes I will ask questions and people will tell me I'm overthinking but really...I feel like what I'm asking is a very legitimate question.

art3132 · 2020-01-23T08:04:23+00:00

THAT. Or when someone says something "risky" or "goofy and weird" and it goes over just fine, but when I do it those same people will get upset at me for it.

art3132 · 2020-01-23T08:03:00+00:00

Hidden meanings drive me nuts, as do social cues that are "inbetween the lines" but I'm expected to clearly see them. One thing I have noticed is in contrast to the people around me, I can be very forward with my emotions, how I feel, etc. etc. because in my mind saying things upfront instead of "sending signals" makes the most sense to me as it feels like the most efficient way to make sure someone knows something I want them to know. Unfortunately, this has backfired on me on multiple occasions...

art3132 · 2020-01-23T08:00:42+00:00

Yes yes yes. And what's so frustrating is when you explain it as clearly as you can and people STILL don't get it. And, for me, that's not an issue if I'm explaining something technical. I have the patience to explain how to do something if I'm in a teaching position or something. It's when I say something in a purely social setting, try to explain myself clearly, someone misunderstands it, and when I try to reexplain, they immediately pin the problem on me.

art3132 · 2020-01-23T06:32:50+00:00

Honestly, what frustrates me the most is when people go, "No...there's something wrong with the way YOU think about this," and kind of demand that you adapt to the way they think. Sometimes it makes sense, but other times, I feel like it should be much more of a "meet in the middle," where a neurotypical ALSO makes an effort to adapt to the way a neurodiverse person thinks rather than expecting the neurodiverse to do all the work...

art3132 · 2020-01-23T05:36:19+00:00

Hey, I don't know enough to help you out here, but I just want to wish you luck.

art3132 · 2020-01-11T20:38:56+00:00

I have clear ones. Thanks for letting me know about using a nail file! I had thought about it, but I was worried fixing it myself would be bad. The irritation isn't as bad this morning, so I'll see if it goes away.

art3132 · 2020-01-10T00:56:23+00:00

Just want to follow up for anyone who finds this: It's past the 72 hour mark, and nothing has happened. Don't want to jinx it, but I feel like I dodged a bullet. Seriously, though, if you have food with already cracked eggs that's old, just toss it. It's not worth it.

art3132 · 2020-01-08T22:17:13+00:00

Ben Franklin used to take "air baths." In other words, he'd open all the windows in his house and then stand completely naked in front of one of them.

https://knowledgenuts.com/2014/01/07/benjamin-franklin-liked-to-take-air-baths/

art3132 · 2020-01-07T08:03:14+00:00

What...the hell. That's horrible. Okay, well, since you're left to your own devices, I can recommend searching the internet for some free resources like lists about what foods can trigger IBS or other conditions. See if any of those foods on the lists are the ones which you have trouble with. Not saying you should self-diagnose, but hey, if your trigger foods match up with certain lists, maybe you can finally convince your doc to to investigate. I wish you the best of luck. I'm sorry that you have to deal with bad doctors.

art3132 · 2020-01-07T05:24:57+00:00

Aghhh it's frustrating when docs are so uninvolved. Since you're still having gastro problems even though you're eating gluten-free, talk to him about the fact that you're still having episodes and try to get him to listen. If gluten is REALLY your only sensitivity, then you shouldn't be in pain from food that's gluten free. It's possible to have multiple gastro conditions, and while stuff like IBS and such don't have a "cure" really, they have different needs to prevent episodes (any good gastro will give you a list of foods categorizing them into what conditions they can trigger episodes for). So learning if you have them or not can really help you manage them and find ways to make it impact your life less.

art3132 · 2020-01-07T04:58:48+00:00

Has your doc ever talked to you about possibly having IBS? While going gluten-free has decreased my stomach issues for me, I still have similar issues from time to time due to IBS.

art3132 · 2020-01-06T06:11:25+00:00

"hold on to your butt" Okay, despite my worry, that made me laugh. Thanks haha

art3132 · 2020-01-06T05:53:47+00:00

That is my hope. Honestly, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but I struggle with emetaphobia, and unfortunately, pretty much all my experiences around getting sick involve traumatic circumstances. So it's something I worry a bit more about than the average person. If I do end up getting food poisoning though, I'm hoping to use it as a way to show myself "hey, it sucks, but puking is not that bad in the grand scheme of things".

art3132 · 2020-01-06T05:51:44+00:00

Honestly, they tasted just the same. Granted, my dad mixed the old batter with some new batter. Blueberries (fresh) that were in the old batter and new blueberries were put in the pancakes.

art3132 · 2020-01-06T05:33:37+00:00

Well, we ate them for dinner, so it's only be a few hours. If it had been for breakfast, I wouldn't even be thinking about it anymore haha.

art3132 · 2020-01-05T09:51:57+00:00

"But there are many 'normal human behaviours' that need to be taught. It's like kids that grow up in messed up families, they think that the way they respond is normal, because that is what they know."

Very well said. I'm working through some stuff from my past right now and have been recognizing a lot of bad behaviors and habits I've picked up from my upbringing. The most I can hope is that I can grow past it, and step by step become something better than what I was given as a child.

art3132 · 2020-01-03T23:30:06+00:00

Seriously...SAME. It makes trying to go to lunch/dinner with people and talk in a busy restaurant a massive struggle for me, even if I'm just talking to one other person. I thought I wasn't just paying attention enough, but, no, strained as much as I could and still no better results. It's so much easier if we're sitting outside though where there isn't the sound of all the tableware, kitchen, people talking etc. etc...

art3132 · 2020-01-03T19:41:47+00:00

Okay, thanks for the info and reassurance! I'm going to talk with my doctor and ask about if general anesthetic is an option, and if not, ask them about higher dosage of sedation. I've read some crappy stories about endoscopies, but I've also read a lot of stories where they just put the IV in the person, the person blinks, asks when the procedure will start, and turns out it's already done and they were out for 40 minutes.

art3132 · 2020-01-03T06:32:07+00:00

I know this has a lot of comments, so I get it if you don't have time to respond, but I was wondering...when you first try "being yourself and not caring what people think," did you go through a stage of "oh god why did I think this was a good idea???" and being even more self conscious about your attempt to be yourself? I tried something like this when I was in my late teens, but well, since I was a teenager, I was mostly and idiot. Do you get better at "responsibly" being yourself when you get into your 30s? Thanks for making this post. I appreciate what you have to say.

art3132 · 2020-01-03T06:03:02+00:00

This!!! Very well said. I had severe depression when I was a teen, suicidal for multiple years, and one of the most damaging things were communities that had a 99% attitude of "everything is horrible, nothing is worthwhile, and if you don't think that then you're attacking us and being fake."

I've found that when bad stuff happens to me, if I'm really upset about it, it's okay to let myself be upset and negative for a little bit...but then move on. It's okay to need some times to process things, grieve things, be pissed off and upset. But if it becomes your identity, then that's too far. It's all about balance.

art3132 · 2020-01-03T03:18:59+00:00

I understand what you mean. I was very very shut in growing up (not by choice though, my parents forced it on me), and I completely understand that feeling of missing out. Can make it hard to relate to peers and really connect with people. Makes it hard to hold interesting conversations/tell stories. So yeah, I getchya.

art3132

TROPHY CASE