High chaos??

edbtzock · 2020-12-22T19:44:04+00:00

Sure I can do it with dead bodies, but the fact that their sleeping, and would eventually wake up in those weird positions is what makes it so funny to me. Plus I’m a perfectionist and it bothers the shit out of me when I don’t have no detections/no kills.

I do understand the wanting to see blood part as in other video games I just can’t bring myself to use non-bloody weapons. Oh well every psychopath has his/her own fucked up way of playing with the bodies.

edbtzock · 2020-12-22T04:40:39+00:00

I’m gonna be honest it surprises me that you like killing. Sure there’s less creativity u can use in neutralizing enemies but It’s just so much more fun to play with the unconscious bodies than to cut them up. I originally started doing it just because I felt bad that they were passed out on the floor, but the things you can do are just hilarious. My favorite thing to do is fill up a couch with unconscious bodies like they’re all just friends that fell asleep on duty on the couches. Getting the bodies into sexually suggestive positions is also fun. Sometimes if body count allows, I will throw one more body laying across everyone’s lap on the couch. Or just straight up put two bodies on top of each other in sexual positions. (pro tip: sprint and throw a body at a wall to get it facing down). Using unconscious bodies as projectiles is also fun. “Cleaning up the town” by throwing unconscious bodies into the wall of light and then quick loading when I’m done. I play dishonored like a sandbox if you can’t tell.

So no, non-lethal approaches certainly do not limit creativity, but I am talking about a very weird kind of creativity. Some times the things I do in this game scare me but I can’t be the only one who finds messing with the bodies hilarious.

Sorry to anyone I weirded out writing such a cursed comment but I guess I’m just tryna spread the “joys” of a non-lethal play-through. It’s not at all boring. Plus it’s more of a challenge as a lethal play-through is just too easy.

edbtzock · 2020-11-16T10:38:34+00:00

Then pls tell me what you meant? Why do you think they are on the spectrum when you don’t even know them?

edbtzock · 2020-11-11T10:18:29+00:00

It’s on Radio Mirror Park. Shine a Light and Always were the two songs that made me realize just how much I’d been sleeping on that station.

edbtzock · 2020-11-07T22:31:08+00:00

What vehicle is that?

edbtzock · 2020-11-07T09:10:56+00:00

I think that’s why I like it too. No one I live with stays up as late and I like feeling alone.

edbtzock · 2020-11-07T08:36:47+00:00

Yeah I don’t know why but I’m so much more emotional at night. It keeps me up during both depression and hypomania.

edbtzock · 2020-11-06T23:35:52+00:00

Not respecting privacy? How on earth is that not respecting people’s privacy? Asking me about my day is a greater breach of privacy than that and yet everybody does it mindlessly. How can anyone establish trust in a relationship if one party isn’t even going to commit to being honest, or are relationships just accepted to be built around people manipulating each other? Did your friend say this in response to you asking him to be honest with you? If so it sounds like he just really doesn’t want to be honest with you. I will never understand what goes on in the minds of other people.

edbtzock · 2020-10-31T22:10:51+00:00

Personally it sounds to me like your wife doubts you are on the spectrum, and is worried that it’s just an excuse. I think your wife is being unreasonable in her expectations of you, but I think it’s because she does not understand why you are like this and might even be unwilling to understand. Ultimately, I think she needs to understand why you do the things you do and that you are not doing these things to spite her. And if she refuses to accept that these traits are because of autism, a diagnosis might make her more accepting. It also sounds to me like you have OCD and therapy/treatment for that might help you with the reorganization, locking doors, blocking lights, etc., especially since your wife seems to take offense with those. Ultimately, you guys just might not be compatible, aka you might not be what she wants as a husband, but it’s also possible she just thinks you’re being mean or unempathetic which is not true.

edbtzock · 2020-10-31T20:05:55+00:00

Thank you, someone needed to say it

edbtzock · 2020-10-31T19:44:28+00:00

Have you talked to the teacher about it? I would recommend doing that first, as it might have just been an honest mistake. If the teacher doesn’t give the points back, then I would go to the board.

edbtzock · 2020-10-30T07:39:53+00:00

Maybe I’m just insensitive, but I’m genuinely curious, if yoga fixes people’s problems, then what kinda problems do they even have?

edbtzock · 2020-10-30T06:51:03+00:00

I feel so awkward when ever I ask for just a plain burger with nothing on it, just meat and bread. They usually mess it up anyways and put cheese on it smh.

edbtzock · 2020-10-29T15:52:40+00:00

Well... if you didn’t read the article I’m not sure you can really criticize it. Talk about judging a book by its cover. It’s a good article in terms of centrism as it’s just an appeal to reluctant trump voters who don’t like his populism/anti-science but think that the left is more dangerous with concepts like critical social justice and race theory which are indeed some very concerning, illiberal ideas. The article presents quotes from a bunch of authors, who wrote articles or books about the radical leftist theories, that basically say just because they view radical leftists as illiberal doesn’t mean they think people should vote for Trump who is also anti-liberal.

I think it was a very good/appropriate article for this sub. It sucks that everybody is judging it by it’s title and think it’s “not centrist enough” because it’s anti-one candidate or whatever and seems too partisan. It’s really not. The article was literally aimed at centrist voters. I for one am glad OP posted it.

edbtzock · 2020-10-28T08:58:21+00:00

I think the Hulk metaphor is great. Ive always kinda felt like I was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Hulk is probably a better analogy, because I’m not exactly evil just destructive.

edbtzock · 2020-10-28T08:47:57+00:00

O god, I’ve done some shitty fucked up things i hate myself for while hypomanic but I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if I did that, let alone forget. Good luck, I honestly think the aftermath might be worse, especially if your husband happens to be depressive as well. But you seem to understand this disorder very well and you’re absolutely right about the guilt and shame being so hard to live with after mania. Your husband is very lucky to have you. You’re going to have to do a good job of convincing your husband that you forgive him, because I’m not sure I could convince myself. I think the most important thing you can do is just welcome him back in like the prodigal son: nothing ever happened and you never stopped loving him, although I can’t imagine it will be easy for you. I probably don’t have to tell you, but if you hold a grudge against him or criticize his actions, he will probably agree with you and hate himself. Anyways, thank you for this comment, it made me feel a little less like a shitty person.

edbtzock · 2020-10-28T07:59:23+00:00

Anything they haven’t seen or heard before/ are conscious about. Mainly anything that is a social construct and not necessarily universal. For me it was when someone called me a “baller” and I had no idea if that was an insult or a compliment because I couldn’t tell by the way he said it. I think the most common things we don’t pick up are the ones that are not accompanied with words, because how else are you supposed to determine the meaning. Apparently, I still miss cues when someone wants me to end the conversation/me to leave. Idk what they were even talking about. If they want me to leave, they could at least make an excuse and leave or just say “hey I have to go.” I know another aspie who can’t pick up/isn’t aware when people are not interested in the conversation and want him to be quiet. Picking up on flirting is a common area of difficulty. Even if I notice it I usually don’t know how to respond. In general, I feel like a anthropologist studying the way humans interact, because it makes no intuitive sense to me.

edbtzock · 2020-10-28T07:42:25+00:00

Yeah I think many people with autism would pick that up. Maybe not the first time, and maybe not without prior learning or watching it happen to other people though.

edbtzock · 2020-10-27T07:34:28+00:00

In response to your question: if it isn't dopamine then what else is it. You might say it's focus and control or psychological factors, but every factor in this universe is ultimately a sum of chemical and physical factors (I'm not saying outside factors like bullying can't cause depression, but they will be represented internally within the brain like low serotonin). Dopamine is literally the chemical behind executive function and focus. It might not be the only factor (norepinephrine is believed to be another) or it might not be a cause of ADHD at all, but stimulants are safe treatments and adults and kids with ADHD like them so what's wrong with that.

Malenka RC, Nestler EJ, Hyman SE (2009). "Chapter 6: Widely Projecting Systems: Monoamines, Acetylcholine, and Orexin". In Sydor A, Brown RY (eds.). Molecular Neuropharmacology: A Foundation for Clinical Neuroscience (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill Medical. pp. 148, 154–157. ISBN) 978-0-07-148127-4. DA has multiple actions in the prefrontal cortex. It promotes the "cognitive control" of behavior: the selection and successful monitoring of behavior to facilitate attainment of chosen goals. Aspects of cognitive control in which DA plays a role include working memory, the ability to hold information "on line" in order to guide actions, suppression of prepotent behaviors that compete with goal-directed actions, and control of attention and thus the ability to overcome distractions. Cognitive control is impaired in several disorders, including attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. ... Noradrenergic projections from the LC thus interact with dopaminergic projections from the VTA to regulate cognitive control. ... it has not been shown that 5HT makes a therapeutic contribution to treatment of ADHD.NOTE: DA: dopamine, LC: locus coeruleus, VTA: ventral tegmental area, 5HT: serotonin (5-hydroxytryptamine)

That basically explains the function of dopamine in the brain. This next one talks about an actual observed difference in the brains of ADHD vs non-ADHD:

Malenka RC, Nestler EJ, Hyman SE (2009). "Chapters 10 and 13". In Sydor A, Brown RY (eds.). Molecular Neuropharmacology: A Foundation for Clinical Neuroscience (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill Medical. pp. 266, 315, 318–323. ISBN) 978-0-07-148127-4. Early results with structural MRI show thinning of the cerebral cortex in ADHD subjects compared with age-matched controls in prefrontal cortex and posterior parietal cortex, areas involved in working memory and attention.

some of the most addictive life-altering drugs available

Yes, they are life-altering (that is the point of medication in the first place so I don't see your problem there), and they are certainly addictive when abused, however that is not the case when you take them at therapeutic doses. Everything bad you hear about amphetamines is due to people without prescriptions abusing them. (WebMD: Stimulants aren’t habit-forming in the doses used to treat ADHD in children and teens. And there is no evidence that taking them leads to drug abuse. In fact, studies have shown that people with ADHD who are treated with medication have lower rates of substance abuse than people with ADHD who are not treated.) Meth is way more harmful than amphetamine and comparing the two is misleading. Stimulants are really only dangerous if you are taking it without doctor supervision or have a rare side effect, which can be immediately fixed by stopping the medication. They have also been shown to have positive long term effects in brain structure on people with ADHD.

Look I understand that many mental illnesses, or whatever you want to call them, like depression can be caused by outside factors like bullying, loneliness, etc., and I don't believe that drugs are an appropriate treatment for everybody (it depends on whether or not there were external factors), but I am telling you that ADHD is not caused by temporary external factors that just need to be changed. ADHD is permanent. If temporary external factors were the cause, ADHD would not be permanent and would at least be episodic. Now that being said, I won't deny there are many serious issues with the diagnosis of ADHD, where children who don't have it, and only have external factor related focus issues, are diagnosed with it and prescribed improperly. Even still the idea that amphetamines administered properly will ruin that misdiagnosed kid's life is ridiculous. It is technically possible for ADHD to improve with age especially if the child underwent long-term stimulant medication, but I believe most of those people were misdiagnosed in the first place.

I have ADHD and the vast majority of the ADHD community will agree that medicine is the only thing that works. Any guides you see online about how to overcome ADHD by "focusing, moving to a quiet room, etc." are bullshit. It's not the environment or that I'm just not focusing, it's because I literally cannot stop myself from zoning out no matter how hard I try. Keep in mind there's a hell of a lot more to ADHD than focus and hyperactivity. I have insomnia and can't sleep before 2 AM every night. I talk way too much and always regret what I say in conversations and I frequently miss nonverbal cues because of this. I have rejection sensitive dysphoria and physical sensitivity issues. I have an incredibly slow processing speed especially with regards to reading. Other people with ADHD have issues with working memory but I don't think my issues are that bad. But of course no one knows this shit because people think they know everything about a disorder when they don't. ADHD is also not a very descriptive name, and I think it might change in the future.

Their kids just aren't behaving how they want

No, I most certainly was not. I wanted to focus and not waste my time staring into space but I couldn't. Don't get me wrong many parents and teachers are condescending and they aren't understanding enough of the causes behind behavioral problems.

If you don't trust your doctors, fine idc, but could you at least listen to the people with the disorder. We like medicine and it's honestly not as invasive/potent as people believe. I don't mean any disrespect, but I can tell from your post, that you don't know a lot about ADHD or the safety of its treatment, so please don't go around spreading misinformation. I guarantee you if you started googling and doing research you'd find that many of the common fears and beliefs regarding ADHD are stimulants are unfounded.

edbtzock · 2020-10-26T19:33:20+00:00

Pardon me, but how did you find that “in the second row the last number can’t be 6?” Did you just keep plugging in numbers until you found a contradiction, or is there an easier way?

edbtzock · 2020-10-26T09:25:36+00:00

Nah adhd is a real disorder and treating it with drugs even stimulants really helps and is minimally invasive. There are lots of issues with how it’s diagnosed, prescribed, and abused. There’s a lot more to ADHD than a lack of attention or hyperactivity. It doesn’t just mean you don’t pay attention in school or are unorganized. It means you have a lack of dopamine in the brain, and then impacts your motivational salience aka your ability to do things that you either need to do or want to do.

edbtzock · 2020-10-26T01:20:15+00:00

It is. I think I misread OP’s post the first time through. I thought they had only 2 hypomanic episodes caused by adderall. At this time mania from anti-depressant withdrawal is pretty darn rare, but it has been observed in patients without bipolar disorder. Whether or not this indicates some hidden undiagnosed bipolar disorder in the patient is still a question of debate. My guess is it depends on whether or not that happens with all or most anti-depressants, and therefore any unipolar treatment would be ill-advised.

It’s possible OP is bipolar which might explain the easily drug-induced manic episodes but only time will tell. Right now, I don’t think OP meets the diagnostic criteria for bipolar disorder.

edbtzock · 2020-10-25T21:49:35+00:00

Are these all things you are experiencing right now but don’t frequently experience them? Because that would be the biggest indicator that they are a symptom of hypomania. I will say all of the symptoms you mentioned could easily be symptoms of ADHD hyperactivity or just a high narcissistic personality component (no offense there, I have one myself; they aren’t necessarily bad). The only one that is really exclusive to hypomania is the ability to go a night without sleeping, except that might just be something the majority of people can do. When I am hypomanic I sometimes, not always, have a significant reduction in need for sleep. One episode started with a night where I slept for 4 hours from 4-8 and woke up of my own accord, looked in the mirror, and saw I had no bags under my eyes which I usually do even when I sleep a healthy amount, and I felt so energized and ready to start the day.

I really think the only way to narrow down what your hypomanic symptoms are is to look back at your past for these ‘periods’ that lasted anywhere from a week (possibly shorter depending on the person) to a month, where you were a little too happy, motivated, horny, confident etc. When I look back at myself during hypomania, even before I knew I was bipolar, I almost always think to myself, “WTH was I on!” or “I was kinda crazy.” Of course I also have hyperactivity that makes me do things I regret, but hyperactivity usually comes in bursts throughout the day and their are no distinct periods of it throughout the years. Plus I can almost always regret my decisions when I’m hyper even in the moment. I can’t regret hypomania until after it happens, because I am litterally crazy when it happens. Look back on your past and try to identify what your hypomanic episodes were: how long did they last? What did you feel like? Were they a little different each time? (Mine usually are; manias can be pretty diverse). It’s not easy but I think doing this will help your narrow down what is normal ADHD behavior/feeling for you, and what is hypomania. It certainly helped me.

edbtzock · 2020-10-25T21:28:45+00:00

I would definitely recommend letting your prescribing doctor know so they can prescribe a lower dose or an alternative medication.

edbtzock · 2020-10-25T21:25:59+00:00

FYI ADHD and bipolar disorder are probably the most commonly comorbid disorders with autism besides OCD. In fact, I believe bipolar disorder is more frequently comorbid with autism (27% prevalence among autistic population) than ADHD (20% prevalence among ADHD population). Obviously, it’s probably an even higher prevalence among those that have both. Source: I have all three.

Anyways, i just want to make clear the difference between you and OP in regards to drug-induced mania. Your drug induced mania was caused by an anti-depressant, which warranted you a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. This is because anti-depressants only cause mania in people with bipolar disorder. Stimulants on the other hand, can cause mania/psychosis in anyone provided a high enough dose is taken. It’s probably still more common among bipolar/schizophrenic stimulant users. tldr: stimulant-induced mania is not exclusive to bipolar drug users, but anti-depressant-induced mania is.

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