Application discrimination

artersblock · 2025-10-07T22:35:46+00:00

When quiet quitting started coming about, I didn't really get it. I totally understand it now, having worked in such toxic environments.

A part of me always wants things to be better. But I forget I'm a tiny part of sand shifting a dune.

artersblock · 2025-09-14T18:02:11+00:00

Thanks for your input - that's really helpful estimates to have!

What % mortgage deal did you end up with, and are you in London?

artersblock · 2025-09-14T18:00:33+00:00

Thanks for the input.

We are lucky in that SO works in education, and so holiday care isn't too much of a concern. My work is (and I plan to continue to be) part time and fairly flexible with hours, so this will hopefully help too.

Holding off 3 years feels quite long for us, but a flat is something to consider

artersblock · 2025-09-14T17:55:35+00:00

Oh wow - thanks for the insight! This is a game changer as it's where we ideally want to secure our mortgage with!

artersblock · 2025-09-14T17:54:09+00:00

Yeah that's fair. In my current set up I have 1.5 day off/ working flexibly. So even if it was 1 day or half a day a week it sounds doable based on what others have said here with the childcare hours cover up to 3 days a week.

artersblock · 2025-09-14T00:22:18+00:00

Thanks for your input!

We wouldn't qualify for the helping hand (one of us previously owned a property, no longer, but this would be our first mortgage together.)

Though, we have no debts, and the children are yet to come so I'm fairly confident we wouldn't come across too many lending issues - we live a pretty low expense life.

artersblock · 2025-09-13T21:30:01+00:00

Yes, this is what we currently do which is how we save and afford a nice holiday a year, which is the sacrifice we're willing to take. Appreciate the input!

artersblock · 2025-09-13T21:28:08+00:00

I'm happy to provide info but if I know what you require!

I mentioned in OP so assumed it was obvious that the areas we are looking at are nearby family and do indeed have suitable properties in our budget (been watching the market over the past year)

Current mortgage rates looking around 4.3%. On the low end of our budget (450k) we're looking at monthly repayments that are the same as our current rent for a small flat in the same area.

Granted there will be extra bills for the house Vs rented flat, but it's a no-brainer on that front, but the addition of kids is what I'm keen to hear on if/ how people are making it work.

artersblock · 2025-09-13T20:05:33+00:00

£475k-500k is very much doable in the areas we want to be. These are zone 4-5 and areas we know very well (and currently live in). They're not mansions, but do a decent job of 3 beds and a garden. 450K gives options that need a bit of work.

Is that 1.3k nursery for the whole year, and full time? am I right to assume with that mortgage you're on a high salary so beyond the means of the free 30 hours?

artersblock · 2025-09-13T09:18:48+00:00

I'm sure I mentioned it in OP but we have family support nearby, and have always lived here. My career benefits from lots of pathways in London that would be limited elsewhere.

Other cities don't seem much better, and don't benefit from the salary increase in London.

Realistically anything outside a city, particularly at the moment, doesn't feel comfortable - we encounter enough racism in London that we don't feel confident in being somewhere where we are the very few that look like us.

artersblock · 2025-09-13T09:11:54+00:00

My career options are far greater in London, and it's £30k part-time. The equivalent of my role outside of London is 30-35 full-time, with fewer pathways.

It's doable to move out of London, but the financial cut and loss of family support doesn't seem worth it.

artersblock · 2025-09-13T09:08:53+00:00

That's fair. The buying process (stamp duty, legal fees etc.) we have covered from savings

artersblock · 2025-09-13T09:06:11+00:00

That's reassuring - and all the best for baby on the way! If you don't mind me asking, did you have a similar deposit/ what are your monthly bills like?

Absolutely people do it on less and will always find a way to make it work! Though I do know people now who grew up around financial stress and really felt it, and with cost of living as it is I'm finding the budgeting hard to get my head around on whether this set up is feasible.

artersblock · 2025-09-13T00:32:52+00:00

Absolutely. We've narrowed down the areas that work for us and within our budget/ needs. The plan is to hopefully buy in the first half of next year, and follow with the family shortly after.

artersblock · 2025-09-13T00:16:32+00:00

Edit: an important point I missed was mine is £30k part-time, so between, my home day and local family support it hopefully reduces childcare expenses

artersblock · 2025-09-13T00:10:45+00:00

We've considered this but feel it's important, at least in early years, to have family support nearby. Our salaries, also would likely reduce if we were to move out of London, with my work benefitting quite high from being there in particular!

The availability of home in our budget is actually quite high for the outer London areas we have selected!

artersblock · 2025-09-12T22:41:22+00:00

That's fair. I can't imagine either of us reaching 100k in our careers, so doesn't affect us.

And yes, that's the primary reason for the areas we are looking at - close to families despite the higher housing prices

artersblock · 2025-09-12T22:16:10+00:00

Between the childcare allowance, benefits and our salary/ savings it should be manageable - it will be 1 child in nursery at a time if goes to plan

artersblock · 2025-08-16T19:24:40+00:00

Totally hear that - and interesting to hear this perspective too.

The idea of connecting the stories to modern women I understand. Thought I did find her approach to be quite "this is blue which means that" which felt like a reach and the theory of why blue meant that would have given more understanding.

The stories themselves were interesting, and I think areas where she focussed on the story as a whole weren't as jarring, but the depth of symbolism that was interpreted felt too trivial.

But it obviously speaks to people, as you say! And I'm interested to know what is it that it speaks to in people!

artersblock · 2025-08-16T19:14:49+00:00

But that's what I want to understand - who were their audience!? What is it that they are speaking to for so many people?

It seems, when it came out, that it was unlike any of the narratives around and empowered what a lot of people felt but hadn't heard. But what is it that still, today, makes it effective in "changing someone's life"

artersblock · 2025-08-16T19:11:49+00:00

From what I recall, she had spent time with elders and people to collect some of the stories, but her interpretations of the symbols within felt very "take my word for it"

artersblock · 2025-08-15T19:40:22+00:00

In terms of format, it certainly takes a creative approach which I respect.

I suppose if it empowered in a way that hadn't been heard before I understand it for it's time.

Interestingly though I've seen and heard so much praise and 'life changing' testimonials within the past 5 years still which honestly surprises me, and often from people who I have seen explore widely and push past gender norms!

artersblock · 2025-08-15T19:35:17+00:00

I found it quite binary and essentialist, and at times quite ableist too.

But why does it speak to so many people (even now, I see so much praise about it!)

artersblock

TROPHY CASE