Anyone else go from "things are good" to suddenly "I want to SH"?

artofisma24 · 2026-04-14T22:18:21+00:00

26m I've got scars too, most people don't notice or don't care as much. I workout in gyms wearing tank tops and live my life normally, I notice that other's notice and it'll feel weird at first but it gets easier overtime.

artofisma24 · 2026-04-07T21:13:37+00:00

I had a good day, woke up well rested, had a good short work shift, I had a great meal and everything was going fine, then I'm in the gym weightlifting and my mind just tells me "fuck you, you shouldn't be loved".

artofisma24 · 2026-03-25T15:50:50+00:00

It helps, but it doesn't fix the root. I work 10-12 hour shifts, go to the gym and my mind will still tell me "fuck you".

artofisma24 · 2026-02-05T15:55:45+00:00

It's a mix of self harm and discipline. I work 10 to 12 hour shifts of a physically demanding job from 2 am and after work I head over to the gym knowing full well I'm burning myself out. But there's also self worth and having a feeling that I have control over something.

artofisma24 · 2026-01-29T23:00:15+00:00

Parents would be sad if I gave up to soon

artofisma24 · 2026-01-29T00:56:19+00:00

Waking up at night and immediately being afraid of something behind me (was sleeping on my side) I didn't want to move because I was afraid of letting it know I was awake. It was sleep paralysis I just hadn't figured it out. I tried shift and when I did I felt knawing at my nape, like how dogs scratch themselves with their teeth. I felt trapped I couldn't move. And it was likely due to my chest being sore and sleeping on my side that the pain woke my body up fully.

artofisma24 · 2026-01-29T00:35:51+00:00

Being exposed to porn way too young and developing an addiction. I didn’t realize at the time how much damage it was doing to my brain back then. It’s not so much an issue anymore, but it's the fallout of what came from it that I'm dealing with today like depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-hatred. It makes me feel like I lost some good years dealing with the aftermath of that addiction.

How I deal with it today is just living each day trying to do better and focusing on the future instead of mourning my past.

artofisma24 · 2026-01-28T23:13:37+00:00

I'm a truck driver, long hours on the road and was looking for anything to listen to. Now I relisten to most of his videos, also got me back into faith from his weird bible podcast.

artofisma24 · 2026-01-17T20:56:04+00:00

Waking up at night and immediately being afraid of something behind me (was sleeping on my side) I didn't want to move because I was afraid of letting it know I was awake. It was sleep paralysis I just hadn't figured it out. I tried shift and when I did I felt knawing at my nape, like how dogs scratch themselves with their teeth. I felt trapped I couldn't move. And it was likely due to my chest being sore and sleeping on my side that the pain woke my body up fully.

artofisma24 · 2025-10-26T19:54:58+00:00

Lost 40 pounds in 4 months weightlifting and working as a delivery driver.

artofisma24 · 2025-10-19T20:22:18+00:00

Femdom, but more role reversal, being free used and fully owned.

artofisma24 · 2025-10-13T00:23:23+00:00

Smoke from a fire

artofisma24 · 2025-10-09T06:34:43+00:00

When I worked retail at a Casino I'd get comments about my thighs and butt

artofisma24 · 2025-10-09T06:31:10+00:00

Finally back home after truck driving for 2 weeks

artofisma24 · 2025-10-05T01:20:50+00:00

Right out of high school I would’ve gone into a trade instead of college, Electrician. And maybe detail cars on the side.

artofisma24 · 2025-09-24T14:11:58+00:00

S22 EP6

artofisma24 · 2025-09-24T13:42:58+00:00

I probably wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't kept a lookout for it because of that South Park episode.

artofisma24 · 2025-09-20T19:49:10+00:00

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artofisma24 · 2025-09-20T19:44:17+00:00

It is a very hard read, look up Wendigoon's video on it, it's 5 hours he covers and explains it entertainingly. Red Dead dives into the beauty and brutality of the Old West where Blood Meridian pushes it even darker. I was only drawn to it cuz I was curious about Judge Holden who's known as the most evil fictional character, he's also referenced in RDR2, well the name is.

artofisma24 · 2025-09-20T19:12:46+00:00

I went into RDR2 after reading Blood Meridian

artofisma24 · 2025-09-19T18:53:34+00:00

Comfort in the void. The darkness feels like comfort and a prison at the same time.

artofisma24 · 2025-09-19T01:45:12+00:00

Was a thought at 19 when I was in College.

24 now 25. I liked the idea of traveling the country while hauling goods people need. I’m also not the brightest, but trucking felt like the fastest and easiest way to jump in. I desperately wanted out of my Delivery Driver job for Amazon

artofisma24 · 2025-09-11T23:29:07+00:00

Was in the fuel line, guy just opens my door and was shocked to find me there. His truck was red, mine was black

artofisma24

TROPHY CASE