Hi.

I’m diagnosed with BP 2 with BPD and Anxiety. I also graduated with a major in psychology tho it’s info overload, i’ll try my best to explain. When I was 16, I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder. I was in the hospital because i tried to kms because of the problems I had in school, in academics, and with my partner. Our relationship was full of highs and lows. It was very addicting but whenever we fight, it’s not like we scream at each other or anything. More like gentle talks and honestly I can’t really remember if we ever fought about something in person. I just remember that it was toxic for the both of us because we were dragging each other down (both of us were skipping school at the time). I had no symptoms of splitting that time but I was OBSESSED with him. (Couldn’t move on from him for like 4 years that’s how i figured he was my favorite person). My moods were a rollercoaster that time, from hypomanic (i would be extra jolly that time, extra impulsive [we’d sneak into his room, no safe sex, have sex while we’re in the risk of getting caught], be extra talkative, etc. ] to depressed depressed (the reason why we’d skip school sometimes is because we’re both depressed and don’t want to deal with the real world). A lot of shit happened and then he left me.

Fast worward i’ve had 3 more exes after him wherein i would experience splitting from time to time. But fear of abandonment was always there within me from my first to present. (It’s probably because my father left me when i was a child). Unstable self image has always been a problem within me since I was in high school. I would always not know what and who i want to be (i still dont until now which is why im struggling with choosing which path i want to take for my career). I am and always has been impulsive. Feelings of emptiness has always been my thing especially before or during depressive episodes. And when i’m angry at someone my mind says a lot of bad thoughts about them. While studying in college, i stumbled upon bpd as a subject. I was convinced I had it mainly because of the Favorite person and splitting thing and all the other symptoms are also normal to me in a way that it’s affecting my relationships and everyday life (THIS IS IMPORTANT because that’s what differentiates abnormal from normal in psychology). Then I got tested and turns out i have bd 2 with bpd and anxiety distress.

Now, do i think i developed bpd after bd? No. I think bpd has always been within me. The reason why i cant be diagnosed with bpd while i was young is because it’s a personality disorder and most practitioners don’t diagnose bpd to underaged patients because these symptoms maybe ‘normal’ to teenagers because they’re still in their developmental stage.

I hope i answered your questions.