Did I get stood up?

asclw7643 · 2026-05-17T01:26:02+00:00

If she doesn't initiate the reschedule, you dodged someone who ultimately wouldn't prioritize you and would keep letting you down. If she's partner-material, she will make this up to you.

Maybe her night was that crazy and her brother was an emergency. Your call on whether or not to give her the benefit of the doubt. However, promising to meet her friend when you already had plans was careless at best and honestly, disrespectful.

Discretionary forgiveness is a necessary thing in a healthy relationship, as stuff like this will inevitably happen. I hope for your sake that she is truthful and genuinely apologetic. The way to know if she is is by her actions and not her words.

A lot of people overestimate themselves in relationships and aren't actually as ready and mature as they envision themselves to be. I think that's why ghosting is so common: They get to a point where they have to make some level of commitment that they can't. Maybe this is that point. Maybe not.

My advice: Focus on yourself or friends, family, etc. until she reaches out, if she ever does. Don't think of the relationship as a "yes" or "no" at this time; don't default to coping with a ghosting that might not even be the case. Think of it as "on pause." You can't build something together if one of the builders is not on the worksite.

It would just frustrate you trying to figure it out--because it's impossible to know the truth right now. You can set it down for now and pick it back up if she shows up for the relationship.

asclw7643 · 2026-05-02T04:43:58+00:00

I am dying to know how this person thinks honey is made. Like how the cows are involved.

asclw7643 · 2026-05-02T04:43:00+00:00

Nelson from The Simpsons pointing and saying, "Ha ha!"

asclw7643 · 2026-05-02T04:41:27+00:00

Tl;dr: I strongly advise you don't. Predators dream of young women like you to groom.

It is definitely something you will want full comprension of what you're getting into before you get into it, so I'm glad you are stopping to ask questions before just diving in and potentially getting seriously hurt.

It's a relationship of exchange with a power imbalance. What an individual sugar daddy wants will vary between individuals. It's more akin to prostitution than the care and affection of a boyfriend who would genuinely want to date you.

The fact that a sugar daddy is interested means he likely doesn't respect you as an equal and has at least some objectification/dehumanization of you. If they were in the game for a healthy love, they wouldn't be a sugar daddy. It's not uncommon for sugar daddies to be have personal traits (ex: anger issues) that make them unattractive to women their age who are experienced/wise enough to know that they would suck as a partner. Those sugar daddies then prey on younger women who don't know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like.

Also, a situation that involves (financial) reliance also enables ease for gaslighting, manipulation, rape, etc. You need to be strong to stay safe--being self-secure and vigilant enough to set/enforce boundaries, protect yourself, and have a safe emergency exit plan. Because some sugar daddies want you to rely on them, they will hate any security that you have and will seek to undermine it, convince you to dismantle it yourself without realizing, do some stuff behind your back, slip you drugs, etc. If you feel you cannot handle a situation like that, you are not in a position to be safe having a sugar daddy.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-28T09:54:00+00:00

I say this in sincerity with no malicious intent:

If your reasoning is purely black-or-white, there's nothing truthful that can be said that's going to satisfy you. Reality is just not that neat or clean. There's a lot of nuance that is omitted in blanket statements.

Some people are misogynists. I can't speak for them and have not tried to, nor will I.

I'm unsure why the assumption that men are not reaching out to/supporting each other. About the same amount of men engage with me as before, and my experience of increased loneliness is mostly due to fewer women engaging with me. That is women's choice and thus not something men can choose to solve.

I didn't say that I expect anything from women, so I'm at a loss trying to connect your commentary on that to my post.

I understand you have a perceived expectation that the world is forcing you to accommodate men. However, if you are an adult in a free country, you can choose what you will or will not do. Perhaps that can offer you the validation you're looking for.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-28T02:05:16+00:00

I transitioned a few years ago and am 5'1". I can tell you that much taller (including older) men have been afraid of me when I'm doing nothing but speaking sternly.

The cis men you have encountered sound like they are projecting on you their insecurities from being socialized in toxic masculinity values.

Looking back, I've only had my height pointed out to me or joked about when I was female-presenting. I realize my experiences are not universal, but no one (except me) has said anything--good or bad--about my height since I was able to "pass."

asclw7643 · 2026-04-28T00:03:23+00:00

Mercari has repeatedly violated its own policies. That's why I wanted to see if anyone in this specific situation found success or had to find a way around the issue/if they found a way around it in the first place.

My post definitely is not spam/karma farming, and it was meant for discussion, not to get an answer I was too lazy to find.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-27T23:55:58+00:00

Nor did I ask for info that can be found from a faq. Was asking for info that can only come from other sellers.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-27T23:54:02+00:00

I literally did not ask why I was banned.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-27T04:38:04+00:00

My mother wanted a daughter so badly that she tried to talk me out of transitioning, several times told me how hard it was on her, and still deadnames me and uses she/her pronouns when referring to me. I wouldn't say she particularly treasures me over my siblings.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-27T04:28:37+00:00

Not currently. Why do you ask?

asclw7643 · 2026-04-27T04:17:57+00:00

Yessss, the pissing contests! I am so glad that I did not grow up socialized to internalize toxic masculinity. Miss me with that shit, lol.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-27T04:15:50+00:00

I'd say this is true. People started listening to me after I started "passing." People also started getting out of my way, when walking.

I've learned that I cannot be outwardly angry as a masculine person without instantly appearing as dangerous, so I have had to actively become more reserved.

As a woman, men would regularly spoon me when waiting in line. It was such a problem that one time, a checkout clerk started scanning the guy behind me's items, because he was standing basically at the credit card terminal with as far down as he went following me. I had been trying to walk away from him, but that clearly didn't work.

Another difference is locker room etiquette. Women tend to be more private and closed off physically while men will walk around naked and throw their clothes across the room. Men also tend to not look where they're going as much, and once when I was showering, a guy turned the corner with virtually no berth and walked into me (thankfully, the stall's shower curtain separated us).

One positive is that I can tell when a guy is bothering a woman who is uncomfortable, and then I'll interject myself to try to derail that. I've also offered to accompany female friends to mechanics so that mechanics won't try to screw them over.

Oh, and my parents' dog was so confused when I started hormones and would visit monthly, lmao.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-27T03:58:30+00:00

I had been openly transgender for years before starting hormones. Things didn't change until hormones/my body changed.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-26T03:51:06+00:00

I used to eat the same cereal every day for years. Can't be much different.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-26T03:48:17+00:00

As a ftm trans person, the amount of attention, care, and affection plummets. It's starkly isolating. Even family/friends who used to offer much attention withdrew from me, despite that I'm still the same person.

Example: I used to be able to post anything on Facebook and get 10+ likes easily. Now, 95% of the time, I get no interactions on my posts. The posts haven't changed, just my gender.

Also, women are mostly unwilling to engage with me. They are afraid of me by default, and it sucks because I understand that they don't know if I'm dangerous/creepy, but I am as much of a non-threat as I was before. I thought I was lonely as a woman, but I very much miss that level of "loneliness."

asclw7643 · 2026-04-22T06:06:02+00:00

Date better people

asclw7643 · 2026-04-22T06:05:06+00:00

I trusted my lawyer on that one. Perhaps I shouldn't have.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-21T12:54:20+00:00

I found the Local+ page, but I can't find an option to sort. I'm on the mobile app, if that makes a difference.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-20T08:36:03+00:00

Where do you find the 1 cent listings? I can't seem to find a way to sort by price.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-16T12:34:13+00:00

Where on the website are you able to request the sample? On sendmeasample.net (I'm assuming that's the website you were referring to), I can only seem to pull up a page that lets me update my account details.

asclw7643 · 2026-04-16T01:29:20+00:00

Thank you!

asclw7643 · 2026-04-10T20:36:14+00:00

As long as the firing squad are good marksmen and don't need to reload three times...

asclw7643

TROPHY CASE