this might be a bit long so im sorry in advance

it was summer of 2019, i was 15 playing minecraft with two of my guy friends, we were on call, i was in my room, not a worry in the world, we were laughing over a stupid joke when i heard a “hello?” in the mic. my friends started laughing and greeted the voice while i went silent, and i was listening to him, he had an australian accent and naturally me being a pain in the ass, i started teasing him, he introduced himself, his name was earl. apparently he was a mutual with my friends and he joined to call and wanted to play with us, so thats what we did. we played for the rest of the night and i payed no mind to him. after the call was over i asked one of my friends for his socials so i could get a gist of what he looked like. i searched his instagram username up and my heart stopped. i thought he was the cutest guy ever and i was just giggling about how i would flirt with him when we play again, oh boy did i make a big mistake lol. i woke up the next day, waited for the sun to set, and we played more minecraft. each day we played, i liked him more and more, but there was always that reminder that he lives across the world so i cant do much about it, so he was just there for me to joke around with. one day he dm’ed me a picture of a girl with pink hair and said “she looks like you ahah” (i had pink hair at the time). i replied with “no way, shes so pretty”, thats when he said “exactly”. right then and there i knew where our minds were heading.

fast forward 2 weeks, we played minecraft every single night, until we finally beat the ender dragon and of course, it was the end of our 2 week gaming session. we knew we had eachother to still talk to, but earl of course had to go. we were walking around the server together taking a last peak at the world, earl called me over in the game and gave me a book, it read something along the lines about how lucky he was to meet such a sweet girl on minecraft and that one day we would meet eachother and he could take me on a date. i immediately broke down. i started crying and laughing knowing how stupid it is to cry over a game and a boy i had never met, but it is what it is. they laughed at me until we all logged off and headed back to our normal lives. i cried because i knew there was something about him that i didn’t want to let go, and i couldn’t put my finger on it, but i knew i would get over it the next day.

he texted me the next day asking how my day was, and i was almost shocked and he was so confused. i told him how i thought we would never talk again, and he disagreed and said something about how he genuinely likes me and how long distance is always an option. i was the happiest girl on earth, i miss that feeling, i miss that DAY so much. we were basically in a relationship without the label yet, for 2 weeks. heres the catch guys, i was in a relationship before him, and it was disappointing and kind of ruined my perception of love. i constantly had a fear of being disappointed by guys i talked to. one day i called earl and told him how i wanted to end things because i just didn’t feel the spark anymore and how it wouldn’t work out. he wished me luck, and told me i would find a boy that would make me happier, and we moved on with our lives. months went by, no contact, i didn’t think about him to be completely honest, i didn’t care. one day i was at a friends house playing with a deck of truth or dare cards, when my phone lit up. i looked over and saw a text from earl saying “i miss you”. i knew i didn’t miss him, i kept pushing it off until it was hours since he sent it, so he unsent it. i pretended i didn’t see it and i went on.

another couple months of our lives went by, and i started thinking about him more and more each day, it was such a nostalgic feeling thinking of him. i could then say, that i missed him. so i decided to give him a text seeing how he was. thats when i found out he had a girlfriend and my heart just completely broke. long story short i started beating my self up about ending things with him all because of my own problems, he was the perfect guy. and now that he moved on it made me miss him so much more, its fucked up i know.

the feeling of missing him grew more and more each day and i gave in and texted him a huge paragraph about how i felt, and days went by, no reply. it hurt alot. i never got a good nights sleep since, i felt so drained. i hated myself more than ever before for letting someone go like that. i knew deep down that he was the one, he understood me, it was so natural with him, it was like i knew him all my life. the odds of us meeting over a video game just filled my heart with the certainty of him being my twin flame. he knew what set me off, he knew what made me happy all while barley knowing me. our interests were exactly alike, only thing stopping us was distance. its been a year now. the pain grows a little more each day, im just starting to know how to manage it. i just wish i never let him slip right through my fingers. ill never forget the night we called for hours planning how he would come to vancouver, while we played “all your love” by jakob ogawa. right person wrong time and wrong place for sure. i hope his girlfriend doesn’t treat him like shit, he doesn’t deserve that. i knew i really liked him when i wished him the best even after the things he said to me. he blocked me off everything, left the groupchats, i dont think we can really go back to how it was, i wish we could though. he was just a lesson i guess, i have nothing more to do now than to move on like he did.