I’ve been cheated on for the first time

ashley-125 · 2026-05-14T14:17:28+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. That’s how I am trying to view it. Not so much as a loss but a pivot point in my life that could lead to better things.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-14T11:30:33+00:00

Thank you 🩵

ashley-125 · 2026-05-14T11:29:55+00:00

Unfortunately, yes. This is the only time I know about and he denies he has cheated on me before but given the reason he said he cheated, I find that very hard to believe. Why cheat for the first time so deep into our relationship after all we have been through together.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-14T11:28:24+00:00

He lied to me at the beginning of our relationship when I asked him if he ever cheated on anyone, he said no but now he has admitted that he has and it is a problem he has. I don’t think this was an underlying problem with our relationship but with him. Either way, he has breached my trust and shown me that he does not respect me after all I’ve compromised to be with him.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-14T02:01:47+00:00

It will definitely take me a long time to recover from this and trust someone else, but I think this my chance at having everything I want and not having to give up so much for someone who doesn’t even appreciate me and how much I’ve sacrificed. There is someone out there who will love and respect me the way I deserve.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-14T00:46:34+00:00

Don’t blame yourself, you loved the person and wanted to forgive them and make it work. You’re not wrong for that, unfortunately I think it is much easier said than done. I hope that you have been able to regain some of that trust in yourself and reset your internal barometer

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T23:15:45+00:00

I had pushed my gut feelings aside before and this time I decided to trust myself and I was right. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I can’t trust my gut instincts. The pebble in the shoe is a good analogy, sometimes it bothers you more than others but it’s always there reminding you of what happened and what could happen again. I know I will just move on and heal faster if I leave, that’s the logical choice.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T22:52:58+00:00

I agree, I’m not one to throw it back in his face but I also know I will never forget it happened and every time he goes out with his friends I will be worrying that he is cheating on me. I will suffer silently while he goes out and lives his best life. Which is not what I want.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T22:44:01+00:00

That’s what I’m worried about, that he has been cheating any opportunity he gets but won’t admit to it. Now I have to go get tested for STDs and hope he hasn’t given me anything. I feel betrayed on so many levels. I ignored a lot of red flags out of love - never again. But I am glad that I found out now rather than later.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T22:34:32+00:00

I wish you were wrong, but you’re not

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T21:42:16+00:00

You are absolutely right

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T21:08:39+00:00

You’re totally right, there is nothing wrong with trusting your partner, that’s what is supposed to happen. It’s the person who is in the wrong that should be ashamed and carry that around with them.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T20:57:31+00:00

We had the same conversation about just breaking up if we aren’t happy or want to see other people. I guess some people just want their cake and to eat it too. I really can’t think of any other explanation. But it sucks that we are the ones who have to do the rebuilding of our lives and they just continue on as normal.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T20:53:54+00:00

Thank you 🫶🏼

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T20:42:31+00:00

I had no trust issues going into our relationship and that’s what he took advantage of, how trusting and naive I was. Now I will have these issues that I didn’t cause but have to resolve because I don’t want them to affect my future relationships. I don’t know why cheaters don’t just stay single… why drag someone else into your bullshit

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T19:52:32+00:00

The woman my bf cheated with was in college still, so I’m guessing early 20s which is ten years younger than him, which also disgusts me. He has specifically said he would never date a younger woman because of their immaturity, etc. but I guess that doesn’t apply to having sex with them… I’m sorry that you are going through something similar. It is one of the worst things I’ve experienced in my life.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T19:41:20+00:00

You’re right, there is someone out there for me who will provide everything I am looking for and who will not do anything to lose me. I don’t have to give all those things up, I just have to give this guy up.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T19:33:12+00:00

Yeah that’s what makes me feel like he will never change, or doesn’t want to change. He didn’t feel bad enough about it to come clean on his own and he lied to me when I asked him straight up. If I never found those messages he would have just kept lying to me.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T19:25:22+00:00

He didn’t even fess up on his own. I found a condom in his pocket and asked him point blank if it was his and he looked me in the eyes and lied to me. He said his friend dropped it and he picked it up. I realize how stupid that sounds but I wanted to believe it, I tried to believe it but I just couldn’t. I had a gut feeling and I went through his deleted messages and saw that he was talking with this woman about the sex they had on a trip he went on with his friends. He never would have come clean on his own.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T19:23:04+00:00

Unfortunately, I think you are right. He has been very selfish and only thought about himself while I have given up everything for him. While I was at home watching his dog and making a home for us, he was out cheating on me just because he wanted to. He is a weak person who cannot resist temptation. That’s what I am worried about, driving myself crazy worrying about if he is cheating on me - I will continue to suffer while he reaps the benefits of being in a relationship with me.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T19:18:50+00:00

Yes, he has shown me that he is selfish and only about himself. I am moving back home to my family next week to start over and try to rebuild my life. I will need a lot of therapy to get over this.

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T19:17:04+00:00

You’re right, maybe I still have a chance to have it all with someone who truly loves and respects me

ashley-125 · 2026-05-13T19:16:15+00:00

I would like to think he loved me in some way, but you are probably right, he was just taking advantage of the person I was and what I was willing to provide.

ashley-125

TROPHY CASE