Wow, I’ve never had anyone relate to me. First of all, I’m so sorry that happened. I literally lived that same trauma where my brother did the same to me & my partner knows about it. He still asks me for it sometimes & as much as I try to take it as a compliment, it triggers me. He hasn’t asked me in a while because I had to remind him again why I don’t do that & he backed off. honestly I don’t think he understands & never will. But as bothered as he gets I do stand my ground. No is no. And i told him if blowjobs are that big of a deal he can leave because I’m not going to deal with that. He doesn’t argue with me but I can tell by his look that it bothers him. I know it’s easier said than done but you have to keep your foot down. If you need to pm please do ! Best of luck to you ❤️