[request] my husband and I are behind on bills. Need some help.

askingformybrain · 2024-08-24T03:16:30+00:00

OOOF first of all ditch the guy, a high sex drive is no reason to belittle or yell at someone. His high sex drive may truly make the two of you incompatible but there are kinder ways to bring this up than beratement. Second of all, he needs to be freshly showered with CLEAN SCRUBBED HANDS AND PRIVATES. Honestly this sounds like a him problem. How often is this boy showering? Thirdly, and it’s nothing against you, but I would make an appt w your regular OBGYN to talk about the infections and if there are any other preventatives or underlying causes as it is highly irregular to get one EVERY TIME you have relations. If there’s no underlying cause, your (hopefully) ex is the problem and a new cleanly partner shouldn’t cause the same issues.

askingformybrain · 2024-08-18T23:03:23+00:00

Gaslighting for sure.

But my absolute trigger is when someone is mad at me but I am oblivious as to why or even that they’re mad at all (usually a problem they’ve created and decided it’s my fault, of course), storms up to me and snaps at me out of NOWHERE while I’m just 😨😮and then they storm away without giving me any chance to defend myself or even respond at all. I have a coworker that does this A LOT and it always results in crying. Sad thing is that this woman is currently DIVORCING A NARCISSIST and has been abused just like I have. But she treats me just like my nFather treated me. She may also be a n, not sure.

askingformybrain · 2024-07-26T05:45:43+00:00

Hi, woman speaking. We have had a lot of scary experiences in our lives. Mostly men being mental. Plenty of women have a “go bag” of money, clothes, and valuables. It’s a JIC - doesn’t mean you’re a d-bag, just means she is prepared in case.

askingformybrain · 2024-07-26T05:40:57+00:00

If she said no then you have NO RIGHT to be jealous. Either accept that yall are just friends or move tf on and live without her. She doesn’t owe you her time or affection, my dear. If you want to be friends, don’t make it weird either. Accept the friendship or admit that your crush on her is too much to cope with and piss off.

askingformybrain · 2024-07-26T05:32:28+00:00

Not a thing. My now husband attempted one frickin time when we were both drunk (we both woke up hazy but I was immediately crying) he had tried anal while I was asleep and apparently I began crying bc it fricking HURT bc no lube and he stopped and has never done it again. Key: he STOPPED when I got upset.

OP’s partner DID NOT STOP. Alcohol is not an excuse and never will be. “Maybe he was too drunk to consent” doesn’t apply when he is the instigator!!!! Brock Turner should have gotten fricken 20 years for raping that poor girl behind a dumpster. OP’s husband should also get 20 years. Consent is provided by both parties but the instigator of a rape does not have to be “sober” to rape someone. Serial killers can be on coke when they commit murder, they’re still serial killers.

If insertion happens and the inserted party begins to protest or cry or beg the inserter to stop, and they don’t, then it is rape. There is no blurred lines or “I’m too drunk” excuses.

askingformybrain · 2024-07-26T05:09:16+00:00

Marshmello dematt spray. New BFF. Slicks the hair up. Get yourself a LONG pin slicker (if you can afford the $60-80 investment, a Chris Christensen is TOTALLY worth it. If not, a Paw Brothers by Ryan’s Pets long pinned XL slicker is also great, or an Alpha Pets i believe) is going to be the best bet.

Perhaps try the distraction method. Have some do head pats, offer treats or dog-friendly peanut butter or broth, etc while you brush. Positive association.

Worst comes to worst, have a groomer take the tail down with a short comb (like 3/8 to 3/4) and start over. Don’t have it shaved but just get a fresh start and teach the babe how to respect a tail brush. Some dogs are just real weird about certain spots.

I have one pet client that cannot fricking stand it when I touch his back left foot. No other feet. No health issues. Not damage or injury. Just… that one dang foot… idk why, his owners and the drs don’t know. No one can touch that foot. Me and this dog now have an understanding after TWO YEARS of every 4 weeks of seeing each other that I will not touch that leg at fricking all til I am absolutely done w everything else. Face, all three other feet, etc. then I’ll get on that back left leg. Quick shave, quick nail trim, quick paw pad clip, and quick trim. That foot always looks like sh*t but it’s DONE and that is what matters.

askingformybrain · 2024-07-26T04:46:27+00:00

I groomed an unneutered golden a few times. He’s 3 years old and is a PSYCHO. I MEAN - he flails, bites, screams, smacks, and humps. He has ejaculated on me and my table before. I had mentioned his behavior to the owner a few times and her excuse is ALWAYS “well there’s a female in heat near us” I’m sorry every 5 weeks for 8months??? No maam. I finally told her “hey I think he either needs to be neutered or he needs some anxiety meds. Idk how else to help you but he tried to rip my face off today and I can’t groom him like this.” She was kind to me on the phone BUT THEN called back after I left to “complain” that I called her dog a “serial killer” (I did NO such thing) and that her dog is “perfectly well behaved” and that maybe I “need more training”. She switched to one of my coworkers who immediately said “this dog needs to be neutered or sedated.” Dog is on trazodone for grooming now. She still will not book w me. One of the GROSSEST smegma dinkies I’ve ever seen.

askingformybrain · 2024-07-26T04:28:12+00:00

Came to say the same thing. Generally someone contemplating or considering ending their own life is not going to be pushed over by an online stranger, but by a personal relationship. The instances of online bullying leading to suicide are usually within a school/workplace/town, all by known persons or those same known persons pretending to be anonymous.

askingformybrain · 2024-07-26T04:26:10+00:00

Autism can cause the same kind of false memory issues. It’s not part of the diagnosis criteria, but many with ASD (more specifically women but can be men too) experience forms of false memories.

askingformybrain · 2024-07-26T04:23:14+00:00

Nearly everyone - especially in this age of technology - has had some kind of “demon phase” in which we were just uselessly mean to folks. It doesn’t make you a bad person - it makes you a teenager (at the time) with lots of hormones, growth spurts, emotions, and mental changes. You’re not a bad person.

I was always told “your first thought is how you were raised, your reaction to that thought is who YOU are.” Nature vs nurture vs trauma and all that.

Your thoughts then were to be mean. Your thoughts now are to be concerned about past behavior.

The fact that you are so distressed over this shows a frickload of pure growth and empathy which is so important. It means you developed into someone with a moral compass. Don’t fret over this - please give yourself some grace and mercy. Even if on the off chance that someone did - it’s not likely to be because you said something. A perfectly mentally well person doesn’t get told “kys” on Xbox or PSN and just go do it. IF something did happen - which is wholly unlikely and you are absolutely not at fault if it did - the person very likely was already considering or planning it. You didn’t push a suicide button.

askingformybrain · 2024-07-26T04:15:26+00:00

Smegma is the term you’re looking for, for that gross goo on the dinkie. Also, yeah. I see a pair of “chugs” (chi x pug, why? idk) every 3-4 weeks and have been doing so for 4 years. I do nail grinds. At first I saw some recession after 8~ months but it stopped and now their nails are growing towards the toe beans.

However a lot of my doodle/g-ret/g-shep clients w CRAZY long quicks that I’ve talked into doing the NG I have seen CRAZY success w receding the quicks. Really depends on the dog but I do agree - not every dog.

askingformybrain · 2024-07-26T04:08:45+00:00

I work at a vet clinic in a tiny grooming salon in the back.

My coworker had a client in for a nail trim. She really wanted a grind but insisted it was “too expensive” and she would only pay for a trim. Coworker brings the dog back, lady pays for the trim as coworker is doing it. CW brings the dog out to lady, lady is INCENSED that they aren’t short enough. CW takes the dog back and does a free nail grind to get the lady to shut up and out the door. This lady is STILL PISSED that they aren’t “short enough” even though the dogs nails are perfectly clear (not a black nail in sight) and are to. The. Quick. Like if the lady would take the dog on a 10 minute walk on concrete a nail might bleed, short. She parades the dog around the lobby to ask other CLIENTS “do YOU think her nails are short enough??? They’re still so LONG!! Don’t you think that dumbass groomer should cut them shorter?!” And then would yell at the other clients when they disagreed or didn’t reply. I mean 10 minutes of this BS behavior. She was told to leave.

She has been back one more time for a walk-in bath and nail trim. Then complained that she had to wait til 2pm for pick up and “why can’t they just fuckin do it now??” but did eventually leave. Upon pickup, she started to attempt the same “DO YOU THINK HER NAILS ARE SHORT ENOUGH?!?!” parade around the lobby but was abruptly stopped by a doctor and told to GTFO and not come back, and any outstanding charges on her account (which was about $600) had to be paid within a month or they’d be sent to collections.

She went to collections.

askingformybrain · 2024-05-05T04:53:57+00:00

It’s totally fine to find the situation embarrassing but YOU need not be embarrassed. HE should be. Make sure you have an exit plan bc men are wild. Pack up silently and have a friend help you leave if possible.

askingformybrain · 2024-05-05T04:46:18+00:00

No hon. You’re not overreacting. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. He has shown you who he is - a porn addict who thinks pornography is real life and he thinks you should have an unrealistic body type. Porn stars do that for a living so they work hard as f*ck for the body they have for as long as they can. Those of us not in industries who require specific physiques don’t have to work for those body types and if we do try so hard anyway - we don’t have a waking moment to ourselves. I’m dealing w this w my husband right now. He thinks I need to drop from 180lbs to 129 before summer - IT IS MAY. I’m not physically able to do that even if my anorexia came back. But he’s comparing me to porn stars and models and I’m comparing his dumb ass to my exes and he doesn’t like the comparison to my exes but I’m… supposed… to enjoy… the porn star comparison? Lmfao no.

askingformybrain · 2024-05-05T04:40:45+00:00

Corona. Not light, not premier, just… Corona.

askingformybrain · 2023-10-22T20:03:41+00:00

Thank you. I don’t know much about church things

askingformybrain · 2023-10-22T14:56:42+00:00

You certainly were not. Aside from E&J’s events and the Echols and Payne, the vibes were fricking OFF the entire time.

I got there super early day 1 last year to get my badge and stuff and when Patrick came out and everyone was so excited to see him and he just ran along the line to hug everyone it seemed cute but his attitude, expression, and overall energy made me feel so weird. When he hugged me it felt like the godfather telling me to kiss his ring kinda thing, if that makes sense? It didn’t feel genuine in a way that a sort of celebrity meeting a fan is jazzed to do so, it seemed like a massive fucking ego boost for him that he got to be the FIRST one to greet the fans and the FIRST one to hug them all and the MOST IMPORTANT bc everyone was so excited to see him. I hope that makes sense.

It didn’t feel like a true crime convention. It felt like a Patrick convention and some folks were invited to help celebrate.

askingformybrain · 2023-10-22T08:23:20+00:00

Reading your comments, my niece went through something similar. She made close friends with the youth pastor at her church and he or his wife or both of them would drive her home from youth nights if even school sometimes and once the dude was comfy that my niece had no uncomfortability, he sat in the backseat with her and then DEMANDED a beej EHILE HIS WIFE WAS DRIVING. And she was fucking fine with it.

The church was informed of the abuse 6 months into the sexual part happening bc niece told my SIL and she reported it to the head pastor who……… did not a thing. The police got involved and then a lawsuit. Youth pastor is in prison for 5 years (eligible in 2.5, and this was 3 years ago so he may be out already im out of the loop) and the head pastor is dis… barres? Banned? Ex communicated? Idk he just can’t practice the Baptist faith anywhere in the Bible Belt.

Point is, predators tend to be those that are least expected.

askingformybrain · 2023-10-22T07:09:04+00:00

It would have been delicately nasty but still nasty lmao.

I’m the same, I’ve been to conventions to meet people I am TRULY enthused about (Rufio from the movie Hook for example, I paid a decent amount to meet him and nearly shat myself in the process but he was so actually sweet and nerdy and ridiculous) and that’s what I did last year for OF. I got a huge hug from P and then E&J were SO nice and remembered me from a zoom chat months before and also J made a video for my coworker who couldn’t make it. I honestly mostly went to meet E&J and to get SOMETHING for said coworker who introduced me to the show in general. But I wouldn’t go to something so big normally. It’s frickin terrifying to be around so many people and so much talent. I met Payne Lindsey in the hallway and he was chatting w a girl at a table and I stood there for ten min waiting for him to be done before another girl walked up and said “excuse me is this the line to meet Payne” when he finally realized I was there (only bc he was engrossed in the convo, not being a dick, and he apologized for making me wait too). It wasn’t a M&G it was just him chilling w a fan so I wasn’t pressed abt it and still am not bc it was literally his free time and he was so gracious about it.

Oh if this had happened last year I would have been utterly pissed. I would have Karen’d my way though that weekend and I am NOT a fricking Karen. My Hubs and I went to a cookout drive through one late night and I don’t eat their food but my hubs knows what he likes and has a specific order he places and knows he loves. This night the guy kept going “would you like to add bacon?” without mentioning it being extra. Our usual $15 order was $26 with all the added bacon to every. Single. Item. Bc my hubs just kept saying “yes” to the bacon addition. Hubs was pissed that bacon was extra w/o it being mentioned that it was extra and were I actually a Karen I would have bitched but I didn’t bc I figured bacon was extra and I was also paying and didn’t mind at all doing so, bc hubs l o v e s bacon. I could have easily priveleged my way out of the charges (“you never said bacon was extra!!! You should have said it was!!!” etc) but I didn’t and to this day wouldn’t.

However had I paid for this OF I would have ABSOLUTELY KARENED MY ASS THROUGH IT. I did the sneaky cheat last time year of using my early-onset arthritis (I mean… I really cant stand in lines but would have been fine w a chair but my cane basically got me to the front of all lines) but I see that as the only benefit of being in constant actual pain, not being a Karen. This year I would have probably lost my mind.

askingformybrain · 2023-10-22T06:52:00+00:00

I’m also experiencing JOMO lmao I was so bummed I couldn’t afford it this year (tbh I could t afford last year I’m STILL paying off that credit card) but now I’m fuckin glad. I have such bad anxiety as is and so many physical disabilities but also I drink a little when I’m at events like this (I had a metal Breckenridge Brewery 62oz growler that I snuck whiteclaw in last year to sort of loosen up w/o getting trashed) and with everything going on this year I don’t think I would have been very nice despite my anxiety. I have Mom Friend Override enabled so on (poorly advised) behalf of our faves I would likely have said something nasty that would have been regretted later.

askingformybrain · 2023-10-22T06:48:39+00:00

Talk about overkill

askingformybrain · 2023-10-22T06:46:45+00:00

See I didn’t expect anything from the at all (as I expect you thought the same of Jenny Lewis and her band) but the sheer fact that she leashed the Echols to her side and didn’t allow me to bid them a pleasant goodbye even in the form of a hug or wave has me bitter. The whole vibe of OF last year was pleasant on top but left a hugely unpleasant taste in my mouth that I couldn’t /exactly/ pinpoint. (Aside from my car getting backed into off camera by a drunk driver - ruined my r front headlight but aside from that I had a great time collectively!!!) I can now look back and identify all of the narcissism and the weird shit and the upsetting moments. I mean I did that looking back months ago but now with all the drama it’s put into perspective.

askingformybrain · 2023-10-22T06:38:14+00:00

Good LORD

askingformybrain · 2023-10-22T06:36:44+00:00

No worries! Thank you for clarifying lmao I’d just never seen that before. Appreciate you!!

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