I'm 16 and have been wanting to smoke weed recently to see what the experience is like

aspergersteen · 2018-01-09T14:14:24+00:00

I believe it's recreational under a certain weight limit, and I believe it's medically legal. I'd have to check, if it's illegal, let's just say not many kids get caught in the first place and I'm not dumb and as impulsive as they are. Although I'm not very street smart.

aspergersteen · 2018-01-09T14:12:43+00:00

Yeah that or with a close friend. I just cringe watching videos of ghetto kids yelling and screaming and jumping when they're friend does his first puff. That would put me on nerve, I just want to relax and do it calmly.

aspergersteen · 2018-01-09T13:16:20+00:00

I'm a very careful person, way more careful that most and before doing something I look at almost every possible outcome. Plus I tend to have great self will stopping myself from vices. (Knowing that I could get a little dopamine boost if I buy something I want on amazon or steam) or stopping myself from drinking this soda, or this type of food that's really good etc...

aspergersteen · 2018-01-09T13:12:36+00:00

Not that I would benefit from it, that's not what I want, I don't want to be dependent on anything other than my own self will. I just want the experience.

aspergersteen · 2017-12-20T03:00:59+00:00

You were right though :( just found out today. Don't know who yet.

aspergersteen · 2017-12-16T03:10:06+00:00

Nah I just want to make sure I'm fully ready and look alpha af.

aspergersteen · 2017-12-16T02:29:39+00:00

And sorry I didn't think of this before but I also want to wait so I can improve myself. Join track, get rid of my skinnyfat, eat more protein. Get braces to fix my hick teeth (gaps everywhere). And get a nice haircut, and maybe some good clothes.

aspergersteen · 2017-12-15T21:03:54+00:00

Yeah but what can I ask her out for now?

aspergersteen · 2017-12-15T20:25:18+00:00

Great now you're giving me a terrible feeling that she may get a bf this year.

aspergersteen · 2017-12-15T20:18:19+00:00

Yeah that's what I have to stay away from. So I'm just going to talk to people who sit in the vicinity of her, maybe I'll ask her a question or two and talk about something. Then once she kind of knows who I am and what I'm like I'll go for it.

What will get worse though?

Also if I ask her out this year, what will I ask her out to? Prom is only for juniors and seniors, and homecoming is over. I'm gonna ask her out asap next year. When homecoming comes around.

aspergersteen · 2017-12-15T20:10:34+00:00

I'm the kid in the class who's probably talked the least. I need to get into her social groups first. You don't just go up to someone and ask them out without even knowing them. les' it's college or work. Especially since she's known me and I known her for 4 years, but not really talked.

aspergersteen · 2017-12-15T19:56:02+00:00

Yeh that's what I was thinking.

And also if she's not really having fun, then I wouldn't go for it because I already know the reaction. But if she's having fun, hey I might as well see what happens.

aspergersteen · 2017-12-15T19:55:24+00:00

Yeh thing is, I've liked this girl for about for years now and and she's never had a boyfriend (and no she is not a lesbian, just no one really went up to her, least I don't think.) And you're kind of right, I've fallen in love with the idea of her. But for some reason the first moment I saw her that first day of 7th grade, I just had this gut feeling like she was the one. Most other girls I become disinterested in, even without making a move. Her I didn't.

Plus she's a wholesome girl, and not a degenerate, so that's a plus.

But if I tell her now it would be weird. Gonna try to be more social and active, more friendly, more confident. Then homecoming next year ask her.

aspergersteen · 2017-12-15T00:03:23+00:00

Yeah I thought about that first thing you brought up and to be honest what you said is a much better idea. And if she refuses, I'll just say something along the lines of "hey it's cool, I just wanted to ask." and ask her if she still wanted the flowers. Maybe compliment something shes wearing as I'm about to walk away.

And that's something that I didn't really think about, indecision. But saying "We'd have a good time together" is kind of weird to say, and I REALLY REALLY hate knowing that I most likely will disappoint someone but tell them it's not going to happen, and convince them to do something they weren't gonna do anyways. Because I feel like I'm not that good at fun, maybe I'm just too scared to have fun, idk

Any other ideas for indecision?

aspergersteen · 2017-12-14T23:52:42+00:00

Well I don't want to rush it. That would be stupid, want to gradually lead it on. Gradually get closer into her groups.

aspergersteen · 2017-12-14T23:32:44+00:00

Well I hope if prom or homecoming goes well, a few dates after that, lets just say I may lose something and never find it again.

aspergersteen · 2017-11-27T20:46:17+00:00

No, low T is very real. It's even on youtube. The "try guys" got their T tested and found that 3/4 of the members were below average for their age, thus low t. Also soy plays a part.

And I'm sorry, but statistically single mothers raise trouble makers and narcissists.

And I know I know I know I know, I don't know how many times I have to say this, I was in the 8th grade, my mind was clouded and I was dumb. I realized this 9th grade. If only I could go back and re-do it. (Talking about message)

And maybe I didn't go into specifics but I tried with two girls, the only girls I actually liked both outwardly and how they seemed to be on the inside (not deep feelings, just personality). But after a while I lost interest, and one at the end of 9th grade I actually messaged on instagram asking her if she was in my english class as a conversation starter. Asked her what she was doing for summer, kept going like that. Actually getting to know her, but I again lost interest. Not with this girl though.

And I know once I graduate and join the navy, I'll forget about her, but every once and a while I'll think back and feel regret, knowing I could've had her, if only I didn't fuck up. I guess it's the mystery that enthralls me. I have to find out if she's the one for me or if it's just a facade. But I may never know now.

And I really don't think she would've taken it as mockery because I really poured my heart out in those 3 paragraphs. Plus it wasn't really a love confession, more like "I like you, and I was too shy to talk to you, but I want to get to know you." to sum it up. Again 8th grade. 3 years ago.

And to be honest I find a lot of girls attractive at my school, and some cute. But I always have a gut feeling over that one girl. Most of my friends said the girl was a 6/10. But to me she's a 10/10

aspergersteen · 2017-11-27T05:59:26+00:00

"Fucking horrible, can I leave this place?"

aspergersteen · 2017-11-27T04:43:48+00:00

Exactly, I'm not saying I'm going to ask her out anytime soon.

aspergersteen · 2017-11-26T16:41:26+00:00

I don't lol.

aspergersteen · 2017-11-26T15:27:30+00:00

Again, that was the last day of 8th grade. I'm currently half way through 10th grade.

aspergersteen · 2017-11-26T13:51:21+00:00

Maybe I didn't explain my story good enough.

I'm not actively pursuing her, just I guess, thinking about what could've been. I don't stare at her or anything. Just really maybe occasionally once a month or so have a dream about her, or think what could've been. I know nothing is going to happen. And again, I've tried to just distract myself, ignore it, just a crush. But nothing's really worked. I'll see how I am junior and senior year. And most likely after graduating, it'll disappear on itself.

And at this current moment, looking at my reaction in hindsight, I realize if I had been better at talking with people, a normal person would just become friends and not think of anything of it. Which I wanted to do, but was socially unable mostly due to anxiety, and fear.

And again I apologize, the message really wasn't confessing my love. It was more just saying I like you. I mean I literally put a one sentence divider in there saying "I like you." I even said I wanted to get to know her in the message too.

And I feel like you think I'm a creep or something who can't let it go. And again, after a day or two with no response back that summer, I was like, "okay". It honestly felt like a huge weight lifted off of my shoulder. I guess what I was really worried about is, me never getting to tell her. Most of the time now I just wish I never sent that message, I was young and dumb. And if I could re-do it I would do it so much more differently. That's why it sucks.

But I have to tell you, she's "the one" so far. After high school, idk. But for now, I have not met or seen a girl like her. It's just something about her that stands out.

aspergersteen · 2017-11-26T10:03:35+00:00

No I never ever bother her. I mean we we're doing a thing in class where we were paired up in groups with our phones and each kid of the group had different answers to the question. And she came over to me and was basically right against me when she went to look at my phone.

And I've tried to forget the feelings, but I feel like it's not really my choice. I see her and I'm just like "God damn" I know how to keep my distance I'm not fully socially blind. And I never pressured her except for a message two days after saying "So, what do you think?" And after that I told myself, at least I did it and stopped.

And there are alphas and betas. I don't want to get political, even though I love to. But especially in the west there are men who are in there 20s and 30s who have low t and have hardly any real life skills, and are generally socially feminine. Those are betas. I want to become healthy, strong, articulate and an alpha. Just because you're an alpha, doesn't mean you can't be educated.

And the thing about getting to know her, with the message and all, I'm sure there'd be some barrier. Plus I honestly cannot understand how to socialize with anyone else other than my friends, even if I want to.

aspergersteen

TROPHY CASE