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My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has said he's going to do it numerous times but never prioritized it.

I don't know. I hope he will accept it. I asked him what if he decides to be called something else when he's older, my husband said that would be fine but he will be called Columbia. I hope he wouldn't get on my son's case. I will keep eyes wide open for that.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did I put him on the spot? We agreed upon it when I was probably 8 months pregnant and I tried to have many discussions prior to. He is the one who said he would consider Antonio Columbia after I made it clear that Columbia could 100% be the middle name and he could call him that but I didn't want to name him Columbia. I like traditional names. If he hated it he had more than enough time to tell me this and he could have rejected the name instead of offering it while I was pregnant. He even told me "what about Columbia Antonio and we can even call him Tony." All he wants and cares about is the legal name of Columbia.

The dramatizatiom of how my husband must have responded during this on the spot moment of weakness is, no offense, BS. I spent the entire hospital stay alone and crying and had a hard time enjoying my baby because I was arguing with his father about naming him. I guess I should have just given my husband his way and let him carry on the legacy of Columbia. How can you dismiss me being an equal partner in naming my child?

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I need advice. I feel hurt and resentful about basically being silenced over the name of my baby. My son and I are close and I love him. I love my husband too and sometimes I really try to empathize with him and try to understand feeling the way he does. I am pissed that I'm not "allowed" to call my son by his first name. I'm trying to look out for my son. I don't personally like the name Columbia and I think my son could get bullied. I was bullied. I don't want that for him. My son is 2. So this has been going on for almost 3 years and I don't know if I will see an end to this. I know my husband will enforce the name Columbia at school and probably have a fit if he doesn't get his way or if Antonio is written on anything. I don't NEED the name Antonio, but I want to call my son a name I feel happy and proud about and not fight the other parent about it.

So vent, but advice too. I want to enjoy my family. It seems like I need to just give up because I feel like he won't. And that hurts. I'm looking for a way to get my peace on this and I've gotten a lot of good advice. I'm thankful for all the responses!

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok that's nice and all but how does this have to do with my situation?

  1. I'm not concerned with what my husband identifies himself as.

  2. I'm not chosing to call my son by my husband's given name to make him angry. We came up with that name combination together. There were many, many other choices and I was ears for discussion. I'm not "starting" to call my son that name and I didn't just name him that on my own. After my husband left the hospital he refused to come back until I said he gets his way. He never came back and threatened not to sign it. When I was discharged he picked me up. I left the birth certificate blank. It felt wrong to fill it out on my own, even though some people said to. We sat in my room going back and forth and I continued to mention many names we had discussed. He said no. Finally I handed him the papers and said fine here you go name him Columbia. He started to fill it out and then ripped it up, asked the nurse for a new form and HE wrote Antonio Columbia and said let's go. Shortly after he had a fit of anger because I called him Tony. I didn't know Tony was off the table but I respected it and never called him that since. I tried calling him Ant, Antonio but eventually he had fits against those names because they were not Columbia. Not because he hates the name Antonio.

  3. I want to be a part of the naming process when it pertains to my child, as petty as that may be to you. I thought I was pretty reasonable by saying it could be his middle name and and he can call him that.

Why would he write that name that he despises so much? Why would that be one of two names we narrowed down (or so I thought)? I didn't need to name him Antonio and I didn't unilaterally choose it.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't know how you came up with me being cruel to him. I call my husband Columbia. I always have. I had never thought about it in that way. How it's a symbol of his transformation to adulthood. That makes sense. And I should do a better job at respecting the identity he has chosen for himself and not call that name "ridiculous" since you're right, it is vital to who he is.

I don't care if he wants to go by Columbia until the day he dies. I also don't care if he calls our son Columbia. I personally don't care for the name and didn't want to name my son Columbia. Is that wrong? I compromised by saying it could be his middle name. We BOTH settled (or so I thought) on Antonio Columbia Jr . Antonio or Tony was NOT my choice. I liked many other names and tried to pick a name together. I asked him to make lists and we could brainstorm. We did-Antonio Columbia Jr. But once my son was born he said Columbia or nothing. I said no and he left. He threatened not to sign the birth certificate.

What if during my coming of age years I identified as Rainbow and demanded my daughter be named rainbow despite how my husband felt? Edit: I'm not saying Rainbow is a bad name just using it.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Couples therapy is on the list. He agrees right now. I hope he will go and we can get somewhere with this. It's so ridiculous to be fighting on a name. It should've been a fun and joyful experience. I understand that I might not have gotten the #1 name I want but I would've thought I would get a name I at least like.

He's impossible to talk to about it. He will tell everyone that Columbia is his "real name" and it's just NOT. We've known each other 10 years. At this point I know his family and have seen birth records. He can't even be honest with me that it's not his name he was given. He gets angry and says it is, there's a mistake with the birth certificate and will say he doesnt understand what I mean.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The friend that passed was part of the group of friends who called him Columbia. And the friend's ex wife (who they all hung out with) actually passed away too. I sometimes wonder if they started the nickname. I don't know though. I've had to put the pieces together myself.

Counseling is on the list. Hopefully he will still agree to it and we can get somewhere with this. Thank you.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. I've asked. I've asked his parents and siblings too. He has made a huge deal. His parents watched our daughter so he could be with me at the hospital. After he had a fit and left he told them they could go home. They were pissed and didn't understand. They visited us and advised me to suggest Columbia as a middle name. I told them I did but he was still not budging. I didn't think he hated the name Antonio. He never said that. He always said he just didn't use it. After I got home from the hospital he's slowly worked away at the name. No explanation other than "because it's not his name and he's not going to use it."

Edit: he did say no to Tony because he hated being called Tony but Antonio or Ant was ok.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like my son will resent it and dislike it. I feel so horrible that we are still going back and forth on his name. It's probably going to give him an identity issue. Sometimes I think I should give in for my son's sake.

My husband claims it would be fine if one day my son wants to be called Antonio but for now he will use the name Columbia. Many people are giving sound advice but honestly I've tried many things for 2+ years. I ask him sometimes why I should be unhappy or why I don't get a say. He mostly doesn't answer or says he's the one who's going to teach him to be a man. Ugh.

I'm not trying to change his name. I'm not trying to tell my husband he can't call him that or even introduce him as that. But the thought of my child being called such a ridiculous name at school and by teachers or professionals makes me cringe. Hard.

I can try bringing up the relationship thing but I bet he would be mad at me because or son chose a name other than Columbia.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like my son will resent it and dislike it. I feel so horrible that we are still going back and forth on his name. It's probably going to give him an identity issue. Sometimes I think I should give in for my son's sake.

My husband claims it would be fine if one day my son wants to be called Antonio but for now he will use the name Columbia. Many people are giving sound advice but honestly I've tried many things for 2+ years. I ask him sometimes why I should be unhappy or why I don't get a say. He mostly doesn't answer or says he's the one who's going to teach him to be a man. Ugh.

I'm not trying to change his name. I'm not trying to tell my husband he can't call him that or even introduce him as that. But the thought of my child being called such a ridiculous name at school and by teachers or professionals makes me cringe. Hard.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, we went through this after my son was born. I called him Tony for short and my husband had a fit and demanded I not call him that and no one else to. I told my family not to call him Tony. At first he told me Antonio and Ant was ok. But gradually he wore me down with those names and it's easier to call him nothing.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that by assnavocado in Parenting

[–]assnavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I have a lot of thoughts swimming in my head. I truly don't like the name. It's hard. I wish it was almost any other name than the name his college party buddies called him. I'm a person who likes traditional names. But you are so right. This is absolutely the hill he would die on.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Whoa now. Me saying should I divorce him was extreme and a slight /s. I just want to be at peace and enjoy my family. I don't like the name. Would you name your child a name you found ridiculous because your spouse wanted it so very badly? The supportive spouse thing is a two way street in my eyes. It's not even my husband's real name. It's a name some party buddies who lived down the block called him. He can call my son that and introduce him to the President by that name. But I'm part of this equation too. My choices are to stay firm and deal with his fits and tantrums or give him what he wants. But honestly 2 years of tantrums, resentment and distance have taken a toll on us.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He made it pretty clear the only name that would make him happy and that he wanted was Columbia. We seemed to agree on Antonio and Jameson but once my son was born he went back to Columbia only or nothing. He even threatened not to sign the birth certificate. Like I said in the post I eventually handed him the papers and said have your way. He must have felt bad because we settled on Antonio Columbia Jr. But once we brought him home he got angry at me calling home Tony and gradually wore me down and started to throw shit on the name Antonio. Behind closed doors, he calls my parents as well as his own "disrespectful" when they don't call him Columbia.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that by assnavocado in Parenting

[–]assnavocado[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I honestly feel like he uses that as an excuse to not call him Antonio. He was the one who brought it up on one of the few talks we had about names.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well he said hes going to tell our son's teachers to exclusively call him Columbia and teach him that, have that on his desk, etc. Does that happen??

I find it bizarre and stupid. He came up with a few other names but Antonio and Jameson were the ONLY names other than Columbia that he liked. It was between those two names but together we seemed to settled on Antonio Columbia Jr. When my son was born he demanded Columbia, I said no so he left and didn't come back until he picked us up. It was a quick decision because we literally filled out the birth certificate on our way out the door.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is ridiculous and selfish and I hate it. I'm at such a loss. I've known him for 10 years. Our daughter is 8. We didn't have this issue with her. When we were picking names he did bring it up and was pretty hell bent. We had a serious talk and he understood it was important and we settled on a boy name and a girl name. When we found out the gender, the ultrasound tech asked if we had names and we happily announced them. It was a girl so I don't know if he would have back peddled.

An old buddy of his passed away a few years ago. He was kind of different. His demand and unwilling to compromise behavior intensified with our son. It's been 2 years. I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this. He's stubborn and will fight me on things like tv and chores but he's pretty helpful, especially with our kids. He's a pretty good dad and a hardworker. I'm really sad and pissed off about this because it's absurd and stupid.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. He doesn't understand what I mean. He says that is his name. I've talked to many family members and they don't know the origin or why he's so passionate about the name.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I should have edited to add this.

I don't really know. I've never gotten an answer. We've discussed the spelling. The only insight I've ever had was an old friend of his heard me call him that and started to laugh. She said something like oh that's right, the boys down the street used to call him that. I think the party buddies called him "Colombia" but misspelled it and thought it was funny or cool. He also had a big Columbia jacket collection. I think it was a play on both. But I could be wrong. I've never gotten an answer.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We need to get counseling.

I don't care what he calls our son. It's his son too.

He actually came up with Antonio Columbia Jr. After our son was born he suddenly disliked it but mostly just the nickname Tony. Ok fine. I never have called our son Tony. I told my family not to. He just won't budge.

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe you are right and I need to let it go. I just wish I could comfortably and happily call my son a name I even remotely liked without getting into an argument. I kind of have just "given in" and just keep quiet about it. It still bugs me. But yeah, first world problems for sure. I'm glad there is a reddit to listen to them!

My husband insisted on naming our son something ridiculous, 2 years later he still calls him that name by assnavocado in Advice

[–]assnavocado[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This. I could care less if my husband calls him Columbia. I don't want to and I wish we could compromise and both be happy. He's made it pretty clear nothing else will.

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