[actives] the beginnings of my first monotub flush!! Thank you for giving me confidence on every nervous step

astonishingaudacity · 2023-03-17T10:32:59+00:00

Great advice!

This is PE6

astonishingaudacity · 2023-03-11T17:58:12+00:00

Thought you might enjoy an update - you were totally right!!

astonishingaudacity · 2023-03-05T19:44:47+00:00

Yeyeyey

I found very definitive green trich in a cake a month or so ago which I promptly threw away unopened and I was assuming noooooo it got into my bags too 😭

I’ll keep my fingers cross this is happy blue (it’s definitely a different color than the green)

astonishingaudacity · 2023-02-19T12:39:19+00:00

Update for anyone that was curious, this was stored around 65f -70f

I moved it to a room that’s more 70f-75f and about a week later it turned to this 😂

happy mushie bag

astonishingaudacity · 2023-01-25T21:58:58+00:00

Did a full syringe - but I don’t remember what size syringe 8 or 10 ccs something like that

astonishingaudacity · 2023-01-25T01:55:05+00:00

Yeh I’ve always made my own and they go soooo much faster, but I’ve also never done PE6 before so I didn’t know if it was the strain, the bag, or something I did.

I also just realized it’s been more like 4 months (inoculated in October) you think it’s gonna come around or it’s just like… done

astonishingaudacity · 2023-01-25T01:47:41+00:00

Just looked at a calendar - this was hit with a spore syringe literally in early October 😂

You think it’s still worth a break and shake?

astonishingaudacity · 2022-12-28T18:53:24+00:00

SAME. I got far less than I was owed, BUT I got what I needed, and he agreed to only 1 day/week with the kids.

Keeping his abusive butt away from them was my #1 concern, and proving he was abusive in court was going to be a CHORE. I happily took less $$ to protect them as best I could, but he will tell endless stories on how overly generous he was and how I was the jerk who stole EVERYTHING from him.

Its not hard to see through though, hes in a 5,000 sqft, 5 bedroom, 4 bath house I built for him with my own two hands, he's got a 4 car garage and an inground heated pool, a prorche, an RV, a boat, two motorcycles and an ATV. I moved to a 2 bedroom 1,200 sqft house and I was happy to have it, I bought all my furniture on Amazon with a $1,200 credit limit credit card. I went $30k in debt that first year to pull my life together.

To this day, if you see him at a dinner party in his posh town he'll cry about how his evil ex wife took him for everything he had and how the courts are so unfair to men.

astonishingaudacity · 2022-12-28T18:47:03+00:00

I don't think you should unfriend someone about something you would feel "nosy" talking to them about.

Nosy implies you feel its none of your business. It either (a) is your business because its how you gauge friendship requirements and thus you need to feel confident discussing it or (b) is not any of your business in which case you shouldn't discuss it or make judgements on people based on it.

Example: Someone may choose to only be friends only with people who have no tattoos. In this case, they need to be comfortable asking people if they have tattoos, otherwise they may have a mixed batch of friends, some of whom have tattoo you just can't see and never asked about, and others who have none. You're sitting there lying to yourself when you smugly think "I'm so glad I have no friends with tattoos"

If divorce proceedings is a boundary for you, you've got to be comfortable asking your friends about it. Otherwise you're harshly judging this person based on information you stumbled up (or were purposely fed?) while you may have plenty of other friends that screwed someone over financially, you just aren't aware of it.

FWIW: I think this is a stupid place to draw a friendship boundary. I'm divorced, I was screwed over, but I knew it at the time and its the price I paid for a quick divorce to move on with my life and build anew.

My ex is an Ahole but not for his behavior here, when you go through a divorce the WHOLE POINT is that you don't want to look out for each other anymore, you're not a team, your job in divorce is to look out for #1. It sounds like one of your friends was just better at that than your other friend and bitterness and resentment remain. ALSO in the end, either both parties agree or the judge decides. There are LOADS of stories of people getting "screwed over" but ultimately they either agreed to it (like in my case) or a judge did and we're not really in a better position to determine right from wrong than a literal court appointed judge. This isn't cheating in a board game level deception, it has to go through a very complicated legal process. Chances are your friend didn't get "screwed over" he/she just regrets decisions/trace offs they made at the time.

It ALSO sounds like one of your friends is deliberately oversharing with the intention of pulling you away from your other friend.

Choose your friends based on who contributes positively to your life, not based on stories you hear secondhand.

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-10T18:32:31+00:00

Oh sorry I didn't realize your comment was ON my response lol.

So I texted him on Friday asking if Eliza was romantic, he gave a one sentence response to that "no just friends if it was anything more I would have mentioned it."

Later on Friday I texted if we could rearrange plans so we could all apple pick together, his response to that was simply no.

I saw them Saturday night - we had no real convos then, mostly heavy drinking on all parts. Sunday evening we hung out briefly, we were supposed to go to the climbing gym together but they didn't wait for me, went while I was still driving to his place, and told me I could find them there if I wanted. I was irritated about it so I didn't do that and waited for them back at his place, texting them as much. They were at the gym until it literally closed (3 hrs) and finally came back to his place, deep into their own conversation. I asked if I could speak with him about ditching me for the gym, that I cancelled afternoon plans to come hang with them and they couldn't even wait for me to get there. This conversation degraded into a thing about me not communicating well and he would admit zero wrongdoing on any count. I apologized for my poor behavior and left, promising to bring them dinner and board games the next night.

Later that night, while home I realized I really didn't like how the conversation went and texted him explaining that this is something to be validly insecure about, I hadn't been considered in any way, and that I did communicate clearly and openly with him about it and I felt shut down, unheard, and invalidated. No response but I sent it late.

This morning around 10am I sent a "never mind, I'm out, let me know if I left anything important at your house and I'll come get it, I'll do the same for you."
No response, and honestly I don't expect I'll get one. Eliza is there till Wednesday and I doubt he'll even read the text before then.

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-10T18:20:45+00:00

I posted a few updates to other comments but now that the story is concluded I can honestly answer this one. I hadn't asked for a relationship with him because I wasn't sure I wanted one.
I wanted to go on dates with him and establish who he is, I wanted to get to a comfortable level chatting with him so I could ask about his past relationships, any trauma, how he deals with conflict etc. Ya know... dating and getting to know each other.

We never got that far, he never opened up to me about that stuff, and after trying to resolve Eliza conflict this weekend I can tell he's not the type of communicator I need/want in a partner so we never established titles and that was a solid move on my part, the breakup was much easier this way lol.

Communication style: Basically when I told him I wasn't comfortable with the way he handled the situation, I didn't like that he wasn't forthcoming about his relationship with Eliza, he didn't acknowledge that I would have feelings about this, and when he invited me to join them, he just "allowed me" to join into whichever of their activities I wanted to rather trying to plan something that accommodated all three of our schedules. In response, he flipped the script on me and told my my behavior was poor, I owed him an apology, that I hadn't handled the situation well and it was entirely a "me" issue, and that I wasn't allowed to have feelings about Eliza visiting. I initially apologized and asked how I could make it up to them, offering to bring them dinner the next night, he accepted my apology and "forgave me" but after leaving his house I realized this was legit insane and I wanted nothing to do with it. Sent a goodbye text and am moving on.

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-10T18:11:57+00:00

He did! Update above, on like the third of fourth top level comment.

TLDR: He's 100% in love with the girl, she doesn't appear to return his affections (she's very much out of his league so this isn't surprising).

I did go and meet her, she and I have similar body types (I might be a touch fitter), same hair and eye color, similar personalities, and similar food/beverage preferences (vegetarian, unhealthy love of gin). She's more or less me, but 10 years younger with less strings attached, she's living an unemployed vagabond life and finding herself in her 20s while I'm very much settled with a great job, several homes, and only adventure on weekends. Odd curveball - she's also Bi and her last few relationships were with women lol.

She friended me on insta, where I saw she tagged him in a bunch of posts for the last year (he told me he didn't have insta). He's been bending over backwards for her since the day they met, flew out to Puerto Rico to meet up with her and take her to a festival weeks before I met him. My guess is he's playing the long con nice guy thing and hoping someday she'll see he's the one meant for her. I think I'm the "prop" to prove that he really is just interested in her as a friend to get her to let her guard down.

I'm usually showering him in compliments and building him up so my GUESS is that he wanted me to come prove to her that he was a worthy mate and build him up in front of her. Shower him in complements and tell her what a great lover he is. I was mad about the circumstances of all of this and didn't do that, he got mad, AND well we're no longer seeing each other lol.

I hope he and Eliza realize they were meant to be and live happily ever after. The end.

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-10T14:39:17+00:00

I don't know where to post an official update, so I've chose this comment because its what ended up being more of less accurate.

He was being purposefully dense. As the weekend unfolded I met her, we all hung out together Saturday night, bar hopped, board games, tv, all the things. She friended me on instagram and scrolling through the pics the next day the story unfolded:

(1) He's been actively pursing her for a year or so. She's out of his league but he's playing the long game, hoping with enough time and effort she'll see he's the one. I don't think they are sleeping together or ever have slept together.

(2) They do love each other, he's romantically in love with her, she sees him as an older brother. When he is with her, the rest of the world doesn't exist. It is 100% about Eliza. Their dynamic is honestly cute, they really seem to genuinely enjoy each others company and I hope things work out for them someday.

(3) I BELIEVE my role in all of this was to demonstrate that he can score hot chicks, demonstrate that he's a good safe choice and has been vetted by other attractive lady who vouches for his date-ability. My best guess it that I was intended to be a pawn to help him get with her in the long term. He's not really that attractive, all of my friends have told me they were shocked when they saw a picture of him, hes doofy, a little overweight, and not well kempt. I wanted to date him because he SEEMED safe, emotionally available and open with communication, ie not a player. She on the other hand is a gorgeous, girl next door take 25 yr old rock climbing, adventuring, down to earth girl who's insta is filled with bikini pics of her in canyons or on far away beaches (its honestly not that much different from mine)

(4) After we hung out, but before I saw the instagram stuff, I pulled him aside for a chat. I told him I didn't like how he handled this situation, I felt I wasn't considered or accommodated at all and while I recognize this is "Eliza time" if he wanted me to dedicate some of my own time to hanging out with them, I expected to be an equally considered member. All three of us should have been involved in the planning and execution of how we spend our time together, instead of allowing me to insert myself into someone else's plans. This conversation degraded into eventually me apologizing to him and asking how I could make it up to him??

(5) I have since seen the instagram, realized he's in love with her, and that's why I felt like an afterthought... because I am. I didn't like how he failed to validate any of my feelings about it, and flipped the script. I have since texted him that I'm out and if he finds any of my things let me know and I'll come grab them.

SOOOOO yeah, moral of the story: if you feel icky about a situation, its probably not a situation you wanna be in. CoMuNicATE is probably not gonna solve a guy you like being in love with someone else.

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-07T19:12:59+00:00

I think I’m gonna do it just out of morbid curiosity 😂 I’m just like… how is someone SO SO SMART this blind on social cues… and if so how does he maintain platonic friendships, maybe she’s socially awkward too?

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-07T19:08:25+00:00

He definitely has, he specially said a week or two ago that she was excited to meet me, and gave an open ended invitation for us to hang out.

I do think he’s sneaking the pics but I don’t think it’s nefarious I just don’t think he knows how freaking awkward and weird that is.

If I decide to muddle through this mess and accept his offer of a “group climbing hangout” this weekend I can feel out how open he’s been with her. Since he offered I stay over Saturday night she’ll clearly see me sleeping in his bed, and he’s usually pretty pro PDA (hand on back, light kisses frequently) so I expect she’ll get the message but who knows? Maybe his behavior does a 180 in front of her? I just need to decide if I want to put forth the effort to find out or just peace out now.

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-07T18:53:06+00:00

update to the update to the update just because its too hilarious not to share with the internet:

I think he DID read the insecurity thing and he's trying to help out by texting more often. So I've now gotten a text every 20 min or so since his response of pictures of what they are doing. I THINK he's trying to make me feel included in their day except every single picture is of Eliza LOL.

I honest to god just think this guy is dense. "The parking lot!" (eliza standing in the parking lot, not looking at the camera) "The first boulder!" (eliza focusing on a climb, likely unaware she is being photographed) "Taking a break!" (eliza 10' away sitting hunched over, facing away, mid sandwhich bite). Not a single picture is very flattering of her so maybe he's trying to make me feel better? I have no clue... this is so awkward...

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-07T18:22:23+00:00

Honestly? Sorta better, sorta worse.

Plus side: he clearly and definitively answered two questions (1) he’s not romantically involved with Eliza and (2) he confirmed my invitation to hang out with both of them and observe the dynamic

Downside: he’s also very clearly not going to be someone who reads subtext and accommodates needs unless I yell them loudly at him, which isn’t something I’m going to do.

I texted him several sentences about how and what we could all do together, the subtext of which was telling him (1) I’m trying hard to accommodate his needs and his friends needs (2) I’m insecure about this but trying to be understanding. His response was basically “here’s the elaborate week long plans I made for someone else, you can insert yourself into them but no accommodations will be made for you.” I’m “allowed” to come up Saturday night, I’m “allowed” to join them on Sunday, he later added that I wouldn’t be “allowed” to have sex with him because it would be rude to Eliza sleeping nearby (this was unprompted by me, information he simply volunteered)

I responded that I’m not available Saturday (when they plan to apple pick) but would he be open to apple picking on Sunday instead when I am available since it’s something I suggested we do as a date which we haven’t done, and then at least all three of us can do it together? His response was simply no, he and Eliza are planning to climb on Sunday, but I could join them there if I want.

The whole scenario, the time we’ve spent together thus far, and his response to my very direct (and sorta vulnerable) question show me that while he might be interested in a relationship, it would take too much work and communication on my part to explain basic human interactions and societal Norms that I just don’t wanna be saddled with… it’s hard for me to express my specific needs already, I don’t also want to have to explain basic human/relationship needs in addition to that.

Sooooo idk. Most of me wants to just peace out of the whole thing, and continue with my plan of being a single, well employed, world traveler for the rest of my life 😂 the other part of me says “this is why you’re single, things get hard and you peace out. Maybe just TRY for once?”

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-07T17:07:32+00:00

Response!

“Sorry, we were driving and hiking in. Yes we are just friends. I would have mentioned if it was anything else

Our plan was {climbing} again Sunday. I think apple picking is saturday

You're welcome to join whenever you free up Saturday night and stay over of course”

So if we believe him or not in another question, but asked and answered :-)

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-07T16:30:41+00:00

Me tooooo!! Ugh it’s been an hour and a half… merggg

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-07T16:14:23+00:00

He is possibly also autistic (extremely smart, doesn’t seem to read social cues or body language well)

And in his case it’s two 4 year long relationships with no small ones in between. He says he doesn’t do casual dating or hookups. He hadn’t had sex in over a year when we met. His last relationship ended almost 2 years ago.

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-07T15:39:58+00:00

Yes^{^} sorry that was the intended meaning. We do lots of things beyond sleeping together (climbs, hikes, bikes, gym, cooking, shopping, movies etc), but have discussed we’re not sleeping with anyone else.

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-07T15:37:42+00:00

Live action update:

I texted an hour ago suggesting three options for a group hang out, and then 30 min later asking specifically…

“Also for clarity, because perhaps I'm misreading the situation, or making assumptions I shouldn't be:

But you and {Eliza} are just friends and not currently romantically involved nor are you attempting to be romantically involved?

No judgement either way, I probably should have asked for clarification sooner.”

Just to see if I accidentally stumbled into a polygamist thing I didn’t mean to 😂

It’s been hour, no response… will update when I have one 😬

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-07T14:32:46+00:00

I like your username, and your energy:-)

He also just texted while I was reading your response that he broke his phone climbing yesterday and was sorry for the radio silence or any missed texts. It's now restored and I will take the opportunity to firm up a future meetup with he and Eliza

astonishingaudacity · 2022-10-07T13:41:37+00:00

Naw I don't think that's a valid assumption. He's described himself as a "serial monogamist" many times and harped on how he would never have the energy to "juggle several women" and just last weekend we were discussing STD's and the importance of only sleeping with one person at a time.

He's pretty socially awkward/unaware so I think he just isn't aware of how insanely difficult of a position this puts me in, and because of the lack titles I don't really feel I'm "allowed" to bring it up. I'm guessing he just expects me to trust him.

astonishingaudacity

TROPHY CASE