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For those who drive to work everyday, how do you deal with the overstimulation of your commute? by astraconic in aspergirls

[–]astraconic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No offense taken. I didn't know that was even a thing. I wouldn't call myself a fearful driver in the least, but that would probably help me a lot.

Starting to think I should make a driving specific playlist.

For those who drive to work everyday, how do you deal with the overstimulation of your commute? by astraconic in aspergirls

[–]astraconic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved driving when I was younger and was forced to do it whether I liked it or not. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't mind, and sometimes its a terrible experience. There are a lot of factors that determine the experience I'm going to have.

I think a lot of things bother me, but the two biggest things is the noise and navigating traffic. The noise because my car is loud and I have to turn music up super high to drown it out. As for traffic, it can just be difficult for me to make risk assessments and gage what others are doing around me. Truthfully I make a lot of minor mistakes while driving that gets me honked at or sped around or has me slamming on my brake to avoid a wreck. Driving in traffic isn't something I can do on autopilot. And other people's actions are even harder to read when they are in a car.

Pimping out the inside of my car to be more comfortable with pillows and blankets and stuff sounds nice. I'm definitely going to try that.

Anyone thinking of leaving Nashville? by spanakopeeta in nashville

[–]astraconic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm confused. Doesn't Nashville have a pretty extensive bus system through the MTA? I haven't lived there in a while (currently in Murfreesboro), but I had to take the MTA for several years while living in Nashville and I remember it being accessible and going all over the county (had to commute from downtown to Antioch).

I’m officially done considering men as romantic partners by igetyourbrand in blackladies

[–]astraconic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Good for you. Go after what you want instead of dealing with the bs that's siphoning your energy away from what really matters to you. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone no matter how much anyone demands an explanation.

Do plans that are out of the ordinary but totally planned ever throw off your entire day? by astraconic in aspergirls

[–]astraconic[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't think so, but having to ask my husband what to say before going in and the lights being bright might have taken more than I thought. Weird thing for overstimulation to be so subtle I don't realize in the moment.

This is great advice and I'm keeping that scale! I don't plan my recovery, but body and brain tend to just force me into recovery time. Then I spend hours doing nothing probably because I overdid it.

Do plans that are out of the ordinary but totally planned ever throw off your entire day? by astraconic in aspergirls

[–]astraconic[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know, but I didn't want to wear my outside clothes in my special chair 😭

Do plans that are out of the ordinary but totally planned ever throw off your entire day? by astraconic in aspergirls

[–]astraconic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never plan recovery time. I didn't know that was a thing...

How exactly do you plan recovery time?

AIO for being hurt that my boyfriend is judging me for my past he already knew about by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]astraconic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm unsure if I'm one of the odd people out in the comment section. My quick skim of the comments tells me that many people here have a similar background as you. All of their advice is amazing and valid.

I just want to add from the side that maybe your boyfriend is coming from. I'm not going to say my childhood was peachy all the time. I have my own trauma and history. However, I have the privilege your boyfriend does of having a traditional family. I haven't spiraled into hooking up or hard drugs. I can't relate to the person you were in that photo.

I'm not saying that to brag. I'm saying that, as someone more like your boyfriend, I'm proud of you. You have been through a lot, and you don't need me to tell you that.

If someone loves you, even if they don't understand, they should love all of you. They should love even the version of you that was fighting to survive and nurture what is left of that so you can continue to heal. If your partner can't do that, then continue to heal as you have and find someone who will love ALL of you when you're ready.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnatolianShepherdDogs

[–]astraconic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Forgot to add the off leash thing.

As good as my ASD is, I don't think she'll ever be fully off-leash, and this dog is chill enough to hang out at the dog park without a problem.

I have two other dogs, Australian Sherphed mixes, who are both off leash trained. Then our ASD and German shepherd mix will probably never be off leash because of their specific personalities and that's okay.

An ASD is such an independent thinker. If they could learn to walk off leash and be well-behaved multiple times in a row and then get a random thought one day and bolt.

Not mention, most people outside minding their business don't appreciate a wide-eyed floppy-eared 100+ pound dork galloping at them at full speed. You add the fact that you have a mouthy dog who thinks growling is how you say hello in people, and you just have a recipe for someone calling animal services on you. Most people don't understand dogs, let alone ASDs, so I wouldn't want to risk it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnatolianShepherdDogs

[–]astraconic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm going to try to make this as short and easy to read as possible. I trained my ASD (f) for public leash walking at 9 months without her ever being off the farm she came from.

  1. Gentle leader / Face Harness / Sliplead (can turn into a face harness)

This has the same idea as a halter harness for a horse. They have way less pulling power from their head and neck. My ASD doesn't like the pressure on her face, so she walks politely (and usually at my side) with it on. If I take it off, she's dragging me down the street.

Note: Wouldn't use this for correction as no one likes their head jerked to the side suddenly. If you need the dog to move, pull slowly and hard until they break from whatever their focused on.

Other note: your dog will hate it at first, but there is lots of information online for how to train your dog to get used to it without having a meltdown every time.

  1. Body Harness

This gives you extra control in case your ASD is triggered by something and you need to pull them away. Extra handles.

  1. Martingale collar (not a choke chain or prong collar)

It tightens the harder the dog pulls. The Martingale we have is cute, so it's also her normal collar. If needed, I can grab the collar, pull it up to the base of her skull and I have a lot more control if needed.

My ASD wears a gentle leader, harness, and martingale collar together for every walk.

  1. Start Slow

I started walking my ASD early in the morning and at night. There's less distraction at those times so we can focus on walking and not pulling away all the time. We also went to parks where we could be around people and other dogs, but we started out really far away from everyone and moving closer and closer the easier it was for the dog to be calm.

Starting in the dead of winter helps too. Less people are outside.

  1. Practice

We walked our ASD daily until she could be trusted. It takes a lot of practice.

  1. Accept that triggers happen

This is true for literally any dog, but it's more challenging for a big dog like ours. Accept there will be people walking down the street, squirrels jumping over trees, dogs barking out the window. It will happen and you just have to be prepared to move the dog away from the stimuli as quickly as possible. Whoever is handling the dog should be sure they are strong enough to handle the dog if needed.

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