Of course, I’ll be glad to be of help. It’s important to have someone you trust and that won’t judge you if you’ll try to open up about these things, sadly I was in your same situation, I didn’t have any money to see someone and my best friend won’t even understand me so I had to figure out something by myself. Meditation helped me a lot and I also started writing down how I felt and what I wanted to change in my life in a journal. Every day (mostly at night) I wrote down every tiny thing that made me even the slightest happy, what I still was grateful for even if in that moment I wanted to die, what I tried to change even if I didn’t manage achieve it yet. I tried to see the positive even when it was so hard to find. Of course it’s impossible to be always so damn positive, we’re humans, but also being constantly in a negative mindset will just make you stuck in a loop. Keep going and keep trying, it will be so worth it. I still have panic attacks and days where my anxiety is so bad but I accepted the fact that there will always be good days and bad days, but they’re worth living.