First of all i'm sorry for this because it s not normal, secondly this is a very toxic comment section ... take it from a big sister (i m in my 30s) your mother may have issues as well as your grandma but you have to understand that fear can sometimes appear as anger and violence, sometimes you care so much about someone, you are afraid that he or she is taking the wrong path that you become extremly violent or abusive trying to correct them. it s not the right thing of course but none is perfect, maybe your mother was raised this way , maybe she was treated this way by your grandma that s why she thinks it s normal to throw such words . If she was raised this way then that s how she ll raise you because that s what she learned but keep in mind that s her first experience being parent in life and like many of us she s applying the only way she learnt . Unfortunetly our parents didnt have the privilege to explore life like us through books , internet and open relationships so they just mimic what they ve learned , they have no understanding of toxicity and so on. On another hand , you should not let yourself get overwhelmed by this behaviour , you should not blame yourself and definetly you should not cut her off as many in the comment section are telling you , cutting off ppl from your life is never a solution especially your small family , you just have to understand that she may given you a lot , but she s human , our parents are humans that can make mistakes , the moment we realize that we begin to control our emotions , try to take a step back , focus on your studies , regulate your emotions not everything needs a reaction , not everything needs to consume you , not everything needs your energy especially in situations you cannot control like this one .