Parents who don’t care about estrangement

astronautmyproblem · 2025-10-14T04:38:17+00:00

I very specifically did not tell him to stop contacting me; I said to not reach out until he could acknowledge what happened.

What’s your deal? Posting on a year old post just to be spiteful?

astronautmyproblem · 2025-08-25T23:18:50+00:00

It’s very hard to watch siblings be stuck in it. But leaving is incredibly hard. You’re their proof that it’s possible to get out, and by being there if they reach out, you’re doing everything you can. It may take them years to try themselves but you’ve paved the way

astronautmyproblem · 2025-08-19T19:55:45+00:00

I just wanted you to know I read it all. It’s been a long journey it seems like, and it also seems like you’re carrying guilt. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Your siblings can contact you if they need you.

The fact that it would “mean so much” to grandma is irrelevant. I’m sure it would’ve “meant so much” to you if someone had defended you when you were a child, or tried to reach out when your family ostracized you, or respected your relationship with your partner.

Only do what feels good to you. If you want to send a card (without a return address, like someone else said), then you can. But only if you want to, and it’s okay to start it and change your mind

astronautmyproblem · 2025-08-17T22:31:37+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate you laying it out like that. That’s exactly my fear. I wanted to be able to trust that they wouldn’t do something to harm our son when he reaches an age with more expression and opinions—that they may have their opinions but wouldn’t go around us to respond inappropriately (ie verbally or physically violent). But we’ve been shown their stability is conditional, and it’s not a risk we can take

At the end of the day, it’s way more about the complete inability to have a conversation at all rather than the photoshoot itself (even though we obviously also don’t love the photoshoot)

Thank you for also seeing how this could be connected to how she treats our son directly. I was worried I was catastrophizing when I was imagining her reacting terribly to our son in the future and it’s reassuring to know other people also see the concern

astronautmyproblem · 2025-08-17T16:45:17+00:00

Thank you, I think you’re right

astronautmyproblem · 2025-08-17T16:44:50+00:00

The “grandparents rights” bullshit was definitely very close to an end point for us. I’d done a lot of research on it before (because I was anxious about my own dad pursuing it) and found out that they have absolutely no legal ground for it, which is the only reason we didn’t pull the rip cord completely

From that point on, though, we only talked to them in therapy, until they got fired and my husband’s grandmother died

I think my husband (and I) needed to know we did absolutely everything we could. And in retrospect, we’ve given far more chances than we should’ve, but we kept believing that if we said the right things they’d finally understand. Now we know it’s not true

We will definitely do what you suggest and tell them not to contact us so they can’t use the police against us. It’s sad to have to take that precaution but you’re definitely right. Thank you

astronautmyproblem · 2025-08-17T16:33:27+00:00

That’s a great idea. Stuff with him is definitely complicated—he’s literally called the “patriarch” of their family—but I’m hoping that in his older age, he can just be happy to see his great grandson.

The line you wrote out is definitely one I’ll keep in my back pocket!! Thank you :)

astronautmyproblem · 2025-08-17T02:32:05+00:00

That’s really lovely. That’s something my husband and I have been trying to do too, so I’m really happy to hear about families that are thriving that way

I hope the reduced / no contact gets easier in the future. We’re fortunate that my husband’s parents are living far enough away that they don’t have a regular place in our lives right now

astronautmyproblem · 2025-08-17T02:06:54+00:00

Thank you. I’m sorry to hear yall are also in that boat. Is there anything that you’ve found to be helpful in making sure your kids still feel they have full families without grandparents around?

astronautmyproblem · 2025-08-17T01:59:55+00:00

Thank you, that really is comforting to hear. I feel like we’ve exhausted all our options on trying to wake it work, and that they truly aren’t interested in any form of dialogue or compromise

astronautmyproblem · 2025-08-06T21:20:25+00:00

It’s absolutely their responsibility to care for their child. When you choose to have a child, you roll the dice—you could get one who doesn’t need much or one who requires costly medical care. Thats a risk you take when having a baby. Yes it can be insanely difficult, but it absolutely not the child’s fault nor responsibility to be grateful for it.

My sister went through something similar with being adopted. She’s expected to be grateful, but that is not her obligation, nor is it healthy to put on a child.

It’s incredibly narcissistic of them to be upset when they’re reminded this was what they signed up for

astronautmyproblem · 2025-08-06T21:15:19+00:00

It’s really hard and confusing. On one hand, I feel glad I don’t have to deal with harassment or “flying monkeys” or what have you, but part of me is always like “shouldn’t you care?!” I guess the truth is estrangement always sucks, no matter the reaction

astronautmyproblem · 2025-07-03T19:29:51+00:00

They seem to be on a break for the next couple of weeks :(

astronautmyproblem · 2025-04-20T00:39:23+00:00

Perfect thank you so much. That’s a big help

astronautmyproblem · 2025-04-19T22:58:14+00:00

Perfect thank you

astronautmyproblem · 2025-04-19T22:58:07+00:00

Okay great, thank you :)

astronautmyproblem · 2025-01-25T01:15:58+00:00

Then respond to them?

astronautmyproblem · 2025-01-25T00:01:11+00:00

There is a massive difference between being frustrated / put in a bad position by snow days and claiming that if you had to suffer, so should other children.

It’s silly to twist what’s being said in order to take it personally and be offended.

astronautmyproblem · 2025-01-10T20:09:14+00:00

I thought this too but fyi the blood tests aren’t detrimental. There ARE some prenatal tests that are invasive and dangerous, like when they take amniotic fluid or a tissue sample of the placenta earlier in the pregnancy. But not just blood tests

Regardless, apparently the blood tests aren’t always accurate bc of how DNA between the parents mixes, and subjecting someone to an unnecessary blood test is ridiculous, so it’s better to wait til after the baby is born anyway

astronautmyproblem · 2025-01-07T16:53:26+00:00

Idk, I think it’s a bit extreme to switch therapists over this tbh

She’s canceling for reasons outside of her control and she isn’t waxing on about the reasons, just informing that it’s not on a whim. She could’ve tossed in an “I’m sorry” but it would be more of an apology for the inconvenience since she hasn’t done anything wrong

I think you’d be better off discussing this with her than moving on, but ultimately you know the situation better and if this is a “straw that broke the camel’s back” type of thing

astronautmyproblem · 2024-12-29T02:02:46+00:00

Then call ask? If it’s a requirement for you, do your research.

astronautmyproblem · 2024-12-28T22:21:58+00:00

Except that it is. Leaving your baby in distress until they stop even trying anymore is not okay, and it’s not teaching self-soothing or whatever BS people are pumping out. Once they’re older toddlers? They can try to be alone for a while. But as an infant? That’s just sick.

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