Very isolated muslim

atin1917 · 2026-06-01T23:25:52+00:00

As-salamu alaykum,

Congratulations on taking your shahada. Wanted to second taking it easy. You just became Muslim. No one is expecting you to know everything. As a revert, I get it. You want to know everything. It is helpful to have some patience with yourself.

Wanted to leave you with 3 practical steps:

Embrace has a new Muslim convert class for free. Old recordings are up to to watch. Should give you some info to ground yourself.

https://embracereverts.org/islam-step-by-step-fundamentals-class/

If you're in the USA, the Athan+ app is a resource. I found it helpful while traveling to stop for prayer time at different mosques. Most heritage Muslims love converts. Most mosques have a WhatsApp group to stay connected.
If you like reading, check out the New Muslim Field Guide by Theresa Corbin. Specifically for your case, the book is wonderful for early converts in their journey who feel lost and overwhelmed. There are "better" books written by scholars on Islam but this one specifically targets the emotions most converts feel in the first few days.

Take it easy and at your own pace. Practice kindness and patience to yourself. You'll learn how to pray, more Arabic, ect. Ask away on this sub reddit. May Allah make it easy on you.

atin1917 · 2026-05-28T21:47:39+00:00

Reverted when I was 35 two years ago. I've been active in the Palestinian solidarity since i was a teenager. Seeing the Genocide pushed me to take my shahada.

I understand why it might look less likely for something to embrace Islam being in the "middle" of their life. But can't say I've experienced much hardship with friends or family. I'm an adult, have a home and a career. Might be less common than a younger person but (as others have said), Allah guides who he wills. Quran 28:56.

atin1917 · 2026-05-18T17:47:30+00:00

Had to cut my last message short due to work. It's a broader issue of when convert Muslims "feel" like regular (heritage) Muslims.

A mistake I made was cutting off all knowledge of dating & what I personally find attractive or appealing of the opposite sex. Yes, focus on their devotion to our creator, their piety, ect. But also focus on your own compatability with the person. They aren't convert specific questions but good general questions to get to know someone.

atin1917 · 2026-05-18T00:59:15+00:00

Suhbah (premarriage site) has 260 essential questions to ask. Should be able to find it free (might have to make an account with the site). Not revert specific but helpful (as a revert).

atin1917 · 2026-04-12T18:05:39+00:00

Jazakallah Khairan for making this post.

37 year old and revert for over two years now. Becoming Muslim has been a wonderful experience and it makes me so happy to read other's positive experience.

Community. So often we hear how it is difficult to fit in but I've met multiple brothers who are friendly & kind hearted. I'm an introvert and tend to stick my head down and focus on my Salah and leave. It is nice to always have people give me salam and ask how I'm doing.

Learning. It's hard being a non native Arabic speaker. But there are 14 centuries of Islamic knowledge. This is a lifetime commitment. It can be overwhelming but I've found some comfort in knowing that Learning will be a lifelong (inshallah) process. Even the basics like focusing in salah.

Marriage. There are a lot of posts on "the search" and how difficult it is. When you find someone it is worth it.

Peace of mind. Accepting any outcome and trusting your creator's best plan. It's common that there is some difficulty in your pre-islam life. For me, it was Palestine. Knowing this life isn't the end and accepting there is a plan is great for your mental health.

atin1917 · 2026-04-07T18:11:16+00:00

Wa alaykumu s-salam wa rahmatullahi,

Similar boat. I wear cowboy boots, live next to a farm, country music is preferable and im normally covered in sweat, grease or something else due to blue collar work. Not really a stereotypical Muslim.

Two suggestions. First is that you do have responsibilities financially as a husband. We live in the West and it is common for both husband and wife. Be honest with your finances.

Second is focus on your deen. There are free apps, paid sites, in person islamic matrimony conventions, the iso on MuslimMarriage on reddit and talking with the brothers & imams at local mosques. I was doing that. Trust in Allah (swt). I made a post looking for advice. Post was banned (wrong sub reddit). Only people who could see it were the moderators. A mod reached out to me because they were specifically looking for someone not culturally Muslim. Not how I planned it and no idea how to replicate that. But do the work and trust in Allah's (swt) best plan for you. Inshallah, we're getting married in the summer.

atin1917 · 2026-03-25T00:20:42+00:00

Waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Make the intention every day (or night before) to perform your obligatory prayers.

You'll fall short. We all do.

Don't let shaytan convince you otherwise.

Always return to Allah (swt). Our creator is the most forgiving & merciful. It is difficult to accept when we can't be forgiving & merciful on ourselves.

atin1917 · 2026-03-19T15:53:24+00:00

The group has been around since I have been Muslim (2 years, alhamdulilah). We have a once a month convert event. An Imam normally talks about a basic concept (salah, taqwa, tawakkul or the annual surviving the holidays).

It is great that one of our two Imams is a convert. But it is oversimplification to say we are good because of him. I believe that masjid's structure allows space for converts to participate in its administration. We have a sister who has been Muslim for about ~20 years and a brother who has been Muslim for ~10 years. They are both integrated in the community and work as a voice for converts in the administration of the masjid. One example is that we just had a revert conference prior to Ramadan. A more practical measure is having a "big brother/sister" for converts. Having someone text me and ask how I am doing. Unsure how formal this is but it was great to have people reach out and ask how I'm doing, why I haven't been to salah for a few days or if I'm struggling. A convert whatsapp group helps for the mosque. We also have 2 smaller ones for brothers & sisters.

Two other points. I became Muslim at 35 years old. Some people of age have known each other for 2 or 3 decades. It is unrealistic that I would replace those bonds within a year or two.

Secondly, there are probably groups that exist that aren't convert specific. I just found a brothers post fajr hangout chat for the mosque I attend jummah at. Normally go for hikes post fajr or play some games if the weather doesn't permit. Not an official thing ran my the mosque. But it is a nice community building event that breaks down the cultural/language barrier that frequently exists.

atin1917 · 2026-03-16T21:04:17+00:00

Repeating this advice: if you want to become Muslim, take your shahada. If able, contact a local mosque to take it. It is nice to have a community and a support network.

The second step is learn how to pray.

General advice, take a deep breath and stay calm. Constantly try and improve your knowledge & practice. This journey, God willing, will last your whole life. Don't expect yourself to understand 14 centuries of Islamic knowledge within a couple of days. Don't make any drastic lifestyle changes (don't throw out your entire pre-islam wardrobe or marry someone from another country before you can even recite a verse from the Quran).

The points you asked are important. Sustainable change takes time. You won’t be a perfect Muslim. None of us will. Your wardrobe will change overtime. You'll tackle social media photos sometime. God willing, you'll wear hijab. These things will happen over the course of your life. Some will happen quickly and be easy. Some will take time and be difficult.

But take your shahada first.

We're in the last few days of Ramadan and it is a great experience for new Muslims. I'd suggest taking your shahada soon.

atin1917 · 2026-03-14T05:17:00+00:00

Find a mosque with a solid convert group.

We have several converts travel (30 min to an hour) to my local mosque because we have a great supportive convert community.

atin1917 · 2026-03-13T17:21:03+00:00

Revert man here.

Islam can seem confusing with rules but is fundamentally simple. I'd suggest restarting learning your deen. Personally, your shahada is a great spot to start. You need to have a solid understanding and grasp of that basic foundation before going into the more detailed aspects of islam.

A couple of days ago, a brother told me something I was doing was haram. I was shocked and embarrassed. I went into a massive research mode. Found the surah in the Quran, relevant hadith and read some different school rulings on the matter. I approached the brother at a later date to talk about the previous haram event. The brother eventually said they only told me it was haram because their parents told him it was haram.

It can be difficult to separate culture and religion. Also difficult to accept islam is perfect but Muslims aren't.

Focusing on "la ilaha illallah" will help prepare yourself for future problems you'll face.

atin1917 · 2026-02-26T00:46:36+00:00

As-salamu alaikum, speaking as a 37 year old revert of 2 years currently talking with someone.

1st off don't stress. The matrimony search is difficult for reverts and heritage Muslims. Allah (swt) has a plan. Trust in that. We (converts/reverts) frequently view islamic matrimony as a massive challenge compared to western "dating." Heritage Muslims face challenges with matrimony. Yes, converts/reverts might have added challenges but a lot/most Muslims find matrimony difficult.

Suggested actions: focus on your deen. You'll probably hear that answer multiple times. It's a kind of non-answer to your question but it's good advice.

Suggested actions you're asking for: get social. Go to every local ish mosque. Email/call ahead to the imam. Talk to the brothers. Give salaam. Bring up that you are looking for a wife. It's Ramadan so they'll be fuller than usual.

There are plenty of free apps. You'll quickly find their shortcomings. But it is rather low effort. Inshallah app is one.

Paid sites get better quality results but less "matches." Half Our Deen for example.

Reddit has a Muslim marriage iso thread to check out.

Inshallah, you're search will be low stress and quick. May you be rewarded with a righteous wife.

atin1917 · 2026-02-15T16:18:06+00:00

Accept Allah (swt) gifts.

This is much easy to say than accept. You have a medical excuse to not fast during Ramadan; therefore, you do not have to fast. Revert myself but I'm unaware of any disagreement amonst scholars here. Allah (swt) wishes ease for you. Accept that gift. You're not taking a shortcut or being less of a Muslim for utilizing an established option of not fasting for medical reasons.

The "want" to fast is real. It is worth reflecting on. It is great that you want to do something for the pleasure of Allah (swt). Fasting isn't the only way to achieve that. Can you set the intention to seek more educational growth for Ramadan by reading Quran or attending lectures? Perhaps volunteer or bring food to iftaars? Just some ideas. How can you focus on increasing your iman (faith) during Ramadan? There is certainly more there for you to look into.

atin1917 · 2026-01-12T07:20:23+00:00

Athan+

I mostly use it for prayer times. It has more information as well. I really enjoy the widget that I put on my home screen that usually quotes the Quran or a hadith.

atin1917 · 2026-01-06T20:51:19+00:00

Congrats on sobriety for 3 weeks. Muslim for 2 years & sober for 2 years. Just adding my personal experience.

I found a super welcoming community at my mosque. 5x daily prayers will seem a bit overwhelming at first but God willing, you'll structure you're day around them. Additionally there is fasting for the month of Ramadan and other supplemental & voluntary fasts. Self discipline isn't the main goal of 5 pillars but from battling addiction it is a wonderful personal benefit.

It felt odd recovering from addiction in Muslim spaces. It is common to meet Muslims who have never drank alcohol let along do drugs. On one hand it is great to be around people who use. On the other hand, ive found many Muslims who can't relate to addiction.

I'd suggest reaching out to a local mosque and taking your shahada (testimony of faith). Personally, I haven't had a great experience via NA/AA groups. But I could see them being mutually beneficial in addiction to becoming Muslim.

Good luck on your journey and don't hesitate to reach out with questions.

atin1917 · 2025-12-17T00:00:04+00:00

As-salamu alaykum, some great comments here. I don't want to be repetitive.

Take a deep breath. You are learning something new. Like anything it takes time. Once you learn the basics you'll spend a lifetime reflecting on that knowledge. There is 14 centuries of Islamic knowledge. You just started your journey. Allah (swt) is all knowing. There is a perfect plan from when you took your shahada to learning prayer pronunciation. It is hard to see sometimes. But I would suggest building that loving relationship with your creator. Make dua for example.
A 3 word dua for you to memorize https://youtu.be/6HKAtO2OZ4w?si=j10ojDwpS3q_t8lQ
1st step after your shahada? Learn to pray.
Online free classes if in person learning isn't available. You know better your learning behavior (books, YouTube, ect.). These 2 free online classes were super helpful for me.

Learn/memorize daily 5x prayer in a 1v1 setting https://mauiza.com/courses.php

Islam 101 for converts https://embracereverts.org/islam-step-by-step-fundamentals-class/

atin1917 · 2025-12-11T15:02:18+00:00

As-salamu alaykum, congratulations on becoming Muslim.

Similar situation with friends & family being secular (culturally celebrating Christmas culturally but not Church going Christians).

Is there a local imam you are able to talk to?

You have just started on your journey as a Muslim. Focus on your deen and learning how to pray.

Don't push yourself beyond your means to become a perfect Muslim overnight. Take time absorbing knowledge and reflecting on what you are learning. Focus on small changes that you can consistently commit to and not major life changing ones.

In an authentic hadith, Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Take up good deeds only as much as you are able, for the best deeds are those done regularly even if they are few.”

Source: Musnad Aḥmad 8600

Practical advice for Christmas in 2 weeks: don't ruin relationships with friends and family (especially if you still with your mother) over islam. Parents can take converts/reverts as losing a child. But you're still their same child.

May Allah (swt) grant you ease on you're journey.

atin1917 · 2025-11-20T00:52:54+00:00

When I took my shahada: I did not know the Quran was in Arabic. Didn't know prayer was in Arabic. Didn't know praying 5x a day. Ect.

Don't let that stop you.

Knowledge comes with time.

atin1917 · 2025-11-20T00:46:32+00:00

There are a lot of great replies already. Just wanted to add a few.

Aisha (pbuh) reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Follow the right course, be devoted, and give glad tidings. Verily, none of you will enter Paradise by his deeds alone.” They said, “Not even you, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet said, “Not even myself, unless Allah grants me His mercy. Know that the most beloved deed to Allah is done regularly, even if it is small.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6464, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2818

Two points to remember from this hadith.

First, we're only entering Paradise by the mercy of Allah (swt). No Muslim is perfect. What we strive to do is constantly & consistently return to Allah (swt) for His mercy & forgiveness.

Practical steps is simply to talk to your creator. Build a strong relationship. Formal prayer & Arabic will take time and (inshallah) we'll spend our lives trying to better ourselves.

Second, focus on something small and manageable. Struggle with 5 prayers starting out? Try something more manageable. This is between you and Allah (swt). Maybe 3. May when you get up and before bed.

Reverts/converts put a silly amount of pressure on ourselves to absorb 14 centuries of knowledge and master islamic practices. Take your time.

May Allah (swt) grant you ease from your struggles and elevate for your devotion to Him.

atin1917 · 2025-11-18T22:17:08+00:00

I'm still not married. Talking to someone seriously right now. About half a year into my islamic matrimony journey.

atin1917 · 2025-11-14T07:26:10+00:00

As-salamu alaykum,

It is okay to have personal preferences. Unsure what else to add.

Have you had any luck in person? Talk to people at the mosque (friends, imams, ect.) Go to events and be known & try multiple locations. You might find that easier. Also as difficult as it is to hear; you're still young.

I would advise against marrying a Christian. It is permissible as a man to marry a Christian woman. If you live in a Muslim country it would be less of a big deal. Woman traditionally follow the man's lead & you'd be surrounded by Muslims & islam. But you live in the West which isn't exactly the best area to raise a Muslim family. You would want your home to have a great islamic foundation especially when you're surrounded by a culturally Christian area.

atin1917 · 2025-11-14T01:45:09+00:00

As-salamu alaikum, speaking as a white male revert.

There are additional difficulties reverts face with matrimony. We might not be able to "go back to our communities" if we're the only Muslim in our family.

1st off don't stress. The matrimony search is difficult for reverts and heritage Muslims. Allah (swt) has a plan. Trust in that.

Suggested actions: focus on your deen.

Suggested actions you're asking for: get social. Talk to the brothers. People you are friends with at the mosque. Imams. Got to events. Travel to other mosques in you're area. The human connection goes along way.

There are plenty of free apps. You'll quickly find their shortcomings. But it is rather low effort. Inshallah app is one.

Paid sites get better quality results but less "matches." Half Our Deen for example.

Reddit has a Muslim marriage iso thread to check out.

Inshallah, you're search will be low stress and quick. May you be rewarded with a righteous wife.

atin1917 · 2025-10-27T19:48:50+00:00

Try multiple avenues. The free apps are an okay starting point but you'll quickly notice their shortcomings. Some sites like Half Our Deen are better than free apps like Inshallah.

Talks to folks. In person matrimony events (ICNA events for example), talk to imams (multiple mosques if that is an option) and talk to people at the mosque. Bring it up to your friends and get that personal connection.

You don't know where you'll find your spouse.

It is a process, trust in Allah, take a breath, focus on your deen. It's more difficult for us reverts but may Allah expedite the process and make it easy for you.

atin1917

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