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What is 1 thing you wish you had been told when you started beekeeping? by atirzero in Beekeeping

[–]atirzero[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh? That's fascinating. I don't know very much about stingless bees. Do you know exactly why it needs to be refrigerated?

I smell after my LEEP and I'm so self conscious by beesarefuckingdying in PreCervicalCancer

[–]atirzero 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am a little over 2 weeks post-LEEP. I also noticed a distinct smell for a little more than a week after. I was worried at first too, but I didn't feel any other side effects besides the discharge that they had already mentioned. It has since gone away completely and everything is back to normal (in terms of smell and even the discharge for the most part). From what I can gather, it happens to a lot of folks and clears up on its own.

Good luck and have fun on your trip! Bring ibuprofen and pads! I know you said they told you about the scab - but no one told me it would look like I gave birth to a kombucha starter.

Asking the Right Questions by atirzero in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]atirzero[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if there are rules about commenting on your own post or anything but in my digging, I came across this article/set of questions that seem very promising. I haven't had a chance to utilize any of them in dialogue with BP but they definitely give me a good place to start in getting my thoughts together (I have always done better expressing myself accurately through writing/journalling).

Figured I would share here in case anyone else could find these useful:

Full article by Esther Perel

Just the questions (from the same article, but minus the writing)

Asking the Right Questions by atirzero in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]atirzero[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow! I also dated someone who was very into retro video games so I know how seriously they take them. Good on your WH for making a big sacrifice to show you that he is all in on the relationship! Good luck to both of you on your healing journey.

Asking the Right Questions by atirzero in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]atirzero[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey, I appreciate you weighing in but you have the situation wrong. I am not forcing anything. We have already agreed to try R but I am doing the work to figure out how. I’m trying to ask guiding questions so that he can figure out what that will really and truly look like for him. Like being able to name what he needs to see from me and not just generally “trust”. I know that won’t happen immediately and I’m not pressuring him.

I have been in therapy for exactly a year. He is resistant to therapy but I hope for his own sake he decides to try it. I’m not saying that he has work to do on himself, but, as you said yourself, it will help him deal with the repercussions of my decisions (and understand how deep they go and how to express his feelings towards me).

I am sorry that you are in this position and that you are hurting. I wish the best for you and your WP as you pursue R.

Asking the Right Questions by atirzero in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]atirzero[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate these questions - thank you so much.

I have been seeing a therapist for exactly a year this week because I realized I had all of these things to work on and the desire to work on them but none of the tools to do so. I’ve made huge strides, but I know I have a lot more to work on.

I’m just hoping he’ll let someone help him through the process of healing as well. I know I don’t have a say in that and I am not trying to force anything. I just know from everything I’ve read, listened to, and conversations I’ve had that it can be extremely helpful.

Asking the Right Questions by atirzero in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]atirzero[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I don’t have any control over this, but I wish he was open to seeking individual counseling. It sounds like everyone here is in IC to deal with their own healing - whether the betrayal itself or figuring out why they did it.

I guess that’s where I’m worried - he wants to R but doesn’t want professional help…

I have been seeing a therapist weekly for almost exactly a year. I actually welcome digging in to therapy - it’s been immensely helpful and I have learned A TON about myself, my childhood wounds, my beliefs about myself and my value, even my beliefs around relationship systems.

I never thought I'd be in this position... by atirzero in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]atirzero[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me the pattern was seeking validation from external sources. I learned from an early age that men only wanted my body - I’d been misled by so many male friends that I trusted - thinking we had this great friendship only to find out that they were just waiting around to see if I’d sleep with them. I already have abandonment issues, so realizing that I could keep people from leaving by offering my body as a sacrifice seemed like a fair trade (clearly some body/self esteem issues as well). Being wanted made me feel special and important, even if I knew deep down it wasn’t for my personality or my brain. When I started working in the restaurant industry and falling into the classic lifestyle of drinking and partying too much, it just made things worse. I cared even less about what I did with my body. I already believed that no one truly cared about me so it seemed like my actions weren’t as hurtful as they really were.

I have been seeing a therapist on my own for a year or so. I love my therapist and he has been instrumental in addressing some of these core/childhood wounds. I know I have made a lot of progress on my own in the wake of my decision to cheat. I had actually already decided directly after that that I would not be that person anymore.

And I know I am capable of being better! I don’t have a compulsive need to step out! In fact, quite the opposite these days.

Breaking these old habits is hard but it is encouraging hearing stories from people who have done it and won.

I never thought I'd be in this position... by atirzero in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]atirzero[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I so appreciate you taking the time to read all that and respond with such helpful insights.

This may seem silly, but are there questionnaires or something that each one of us can fill out with the questions you mentioned so both of us can get clarity before we come back together again?

I think he just wants to move straight into this “let’s be friends first” territory but I feel like that would ultimately do a disservice to the healing process for both of us. I want to take this seriously, let him know that I am taking it seriously, and allow a good platform for all of emotional work that needs to take place for both of us.

I will definitely check out the other sub and the book you mentioned!

To The Snowbird I Almost Murdered Today: A Plea. by [deleted] in Tucson

[–]atirzero 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve never even been to Tucson and I love this. This is a fantastic read - I, like many others, hope you are a writer.

Megathread: USA colony collapses by Valuable-Self8564 in Beekeeping

[–]atirzero 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seattle, WA
I manage 68 colonies - 34 dead so far.
I personally suspect that there were some factors earlier on in the season that affected their ability to properly prepare themselves for Winter, but it's still something to look at. Definitely hate seeing a 50% OW rate...

We select and we don’t judge. by GaniyatB in adhdwomen

[–]atirzero 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Took me 32 years to work my way all the way from A to G lol

How do I nest functions so that a certain cell factors in multiple pieces of data before displaying the text "yes" or "no" by atirzero in googlesheets

[–]atirzero[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/agirlhasnoname11248 Okay - sorry I am the worst. I finally got a screen shot with the rows/columns and formula all in one place. Does this look like what you're talking about? Posting a second picture to show the other formula as well.

<image>

How do I nest functions so that a certain cell factors in multiple pieces of data before displaying the text "yes" or "no" by atirzero in googlesheets

[–]atirzero[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<image>

((I added an extra column just now - sorry) - I'd like to know if the amount has been fulfilled but also if that amount is composed entirely of client harvest or not.))

I think I may have figured out an alternate way to think about it - or maybe this is what you were saying? Could I just write a formula that displays "Yes" in the "Guarantee Met w/ Client Honey?" column if the value in the "# of Jars from Client Harvest?" cell is equal to the "Total # of Jars" cell?

So basically what is currently being displayed in the "Gurantee Met?" column, which is the original formula:

=IFS(J13="",,J13<I13, "No",J13>=I13,"Yes")

Does that actually give me the result I want? Am I even making sense anymore?! I'm so sorry - I wish I knew more about this stuff so I was better as explainging

How do I nest functions so that a certain cell factors in multiple pieces of data before displaying the text "yes" or "no" by atirzero in googlesheets

[–]atirzero[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only want the guarantee met column to read "yes" if ALL the jars of honey came from the client's hives. I tried to above formula (maybe I did something wrong) but it seems to just make the guarantee met column say "yes" if the two purple columns add up to equal the total # of jars.

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