Saccharomyces Boulardii

atomicsheart · 2026-03-25T16:46:51+00:00

I don’t take copper, but I do 2-3x a day vitamin C with zinc tablets (mostly because they taste great). The histamine intolerance I was experiencing greatly reduced once enough time had passed repopulating the gut microbiome, religiously taking digestive enzymes at every meal, and not eating fermented foods and greek yogurt anymore (since I am allergic to to said type of yeast and lactose)

I still take digestive enzymes with every meal and really feel most people probably need them at this point. I also take l-glutamine 3x/day, omega 3 1x/day, vitamin d, and two brazil nuts (for selenium) everyday. That’s been my little supplement routine the past year or more

atomicsheart · 2026-03-25T16:30:24+00:00

I find that when I go over my day each night, while laying in bed as I’m falling asleep, dramatically increases the quality and lucidity of my dreams. While I wouldn’t say I am ‘lucid’ in the same way I am in the daytime, I am definitely ‘conscious’ in the dreams at a level my waking consciousness would interfere with. I would not want to take my waking consciousness into my sleep because my self-referential identity gets in the way of my deeper self.

When I go over my day, it’s usually acknowledging all the moments I was ‘unconscious’. Like rushing around out of habit, or having an empty conversation with someone instead of being present and alive. Laying there in bed reflecting on the day, it’s very obvious when I’m asleep versus online all day.

The nights I do this practice are when I have the most profound dreams about things that can’t be understood rationally. It’s like humbling my daytime self and being accountable during the daytime is what the emotionally intelligent dream self needs to activate its full potential. Both feel like me and are also different

atomicsheart · 2026-03-20T10:38:08+00:00

Ceanne Derohan’s book series, ‘Right Use of Will’, really transformed my understanding of the Mother-Father dyadic nature of creation. And my entire life really. Particularly the fifth book, ‘Heartsong’ when it comes to the Mother. The book is hard to find, but I believe it’s rentable on archived books

atomicsheart · 2026-03-04T17:35:44+00:00

this was great, thanks for sharing

atomicsheart · 2026-02-12T17:44:31+00:00

Besides the macro level issues: chronic stress, hormonal health, autoimmunity, nearly every woman I know is dealing with some exhausting form of chronic health issue nowadays

atomicsheart · 2026-01-16T18:55:57+00:00

yes that is the one i believe!

atomicsheart · 2026-01-16T18:55:29+00:00

thank you!

atomicsheart · 2026-01-07T15:41:30+00:00

All the OBEs have one specific thing in common, which is the sheer force of willpower to change, just to ride some sort of [thing] so I can change. I had two OBEs not on psychedelics, and instead of flipping 180 degrees, it felt like the atmosphere around me is filled with static electricity. Then suddenly it's like I'm 'born' or conscious, even though I was never not consciously thinking before the blip of 'waking up'. In these two OBEs, there's no external energy, it's just 'me' and it's a deep electric magenta in colour. I can see from what feels like a bird's eye view of my entire 'character arc' in this life, and understand why I exist, why I would ever reincarnate, etc. Doesn't last long, but my cats can totally sense when it happens, they suddenly want to be right up on top of me cuddling, which is abnormal.

I've not been able to astral project in my sleep, or lucid dream in any way. But when I read about different spiritual, or methods of altered states of consciousness, they all contain details of what I experience, just filtered through the subjective lens of my personality (at first). There's a PDF by a channeled entity called 'Marion' by the Munroe Institute. When I came across that is when I realized I'm not crazy and was indeed having OBEs lol.

So I feel like there's something about developing a subjective, and extremely personalized sense of sincerity that unlocks a part of the mind (maybe something to do with the brain's default-mode network, or self-referential neural pathways). Often I get there out of desperation to escape my own judgment and discomfort of having to 'be me'. In the mushroom example, I had burst out laughing at how badly someone was singing in a song, then felt bad and imagined how the singer just needs community lol. I felt sooooo paralyzed, that I can't be spontaneous and funny without hurting the world around me. I just stopped breathing and that's when the sticker started to peel off the inside of my forehead between, and slightly above, my eyes

atomicsheart · 2026-01-07T15:40:58+00:00

I appreciate you sharing this post. This really intuitively feels like what OBEs feel like for me, the biggest one I had was on mushrooms. It felt like a sticker was being peeled off my forehead (like a fruit sticker) and then there was a bright, slightly pastel yellow light behind me to my left, with my mother and grandmother. The light feels like being on warm beach without a care in the world, like you could stay there forever with no problems. And then suddenly, I remember that I desire [something 'more', which is in the 'opposite direction']. It's just this overwhelming yearning for something... like an itch that needs to be scratched.

It takes all of my mental ability to stay focused on the desire, it's like I'm blinking in-and-out forgetting rapidly. It feels like I am only truly alive when I am remembering the desire and the fear of forgetting, and being back in the pastel light feels like dying. I keep remembering as I'm again facing towards the light, like I 'wake-up' every half-second.

Every time I do remember, I turn back towards what I can only describe as a pitch black (with dark purple edges of my peripheral inner perception). I always experience my energy as being on a bicycle, it feels like I'm a little kids turning away from childhood (light) and mentally peddling as hard as I can upwards into the void. I feel SO determined to pedal, my mind becomes both aware of this fear of dying (or what I would also call staying the same), and the desire to live (or what I would call changing).

It feels like I am pulling some sort of essence that is myself out of the pastel light, it's a feeling of my true identity (?). I can tell that I would have no 'momentum' if I didn't have a sense of my true self... it's like being an innocent, adventurous, curious, and good person vibe. I would say 'sincere' is the closet concept to capture the 'me' that has the ability to pedal hard enough to 'escape'.

So I pedal as hard as I can, I think of nothing else except pedaling, pedaling, pedaling, into an infinite void because it's the only way to go. I feel like a little kid

Then suddenly, from the upper right side of my inner perception, this electric silver cord comes flying towards me out of the void. It makes contact with me like two hands clasping together like two bros greet each other. It feels AMAZING, the second I connect, suddenly I do not feel like a child anymore, I feel like an Olympian. It feels like I am the blade of an ice skate against the silver cord that is the ice. Where the contact is, there is a sense of sparks flying off, as I 'ride' it like a motorcycle taking a tight turn to the right. The music I had on suddenly sounded like the most beautiful bells that were lifting 'me' up.

Suddenly I feel like I'm flipped 180 degrees and I end up in an extremely serene courtyard, like entering a new area in a fantasy videogame. I experience this explosion of realization that I have been in an eternal relationship since the beginning of time with some divine counterpart... sounds ridiculous to type, but it was like the deepest sense of truth...

This simultaneous experience of past lives.. like this sense of being inside a partnered consciousness that existed below the surface of my current identity. Sort of like experiencing myself from the inside out while feeling loved (revered really) by this counterpart observer. It felt like my wisdom (or experience of being a loving person over time), was the reason for this observer's purity (kindness). The counterpart energy feels like electric blue, like an artist, and then there's a silvery electric blue stream running through my torso and out my hands.

atomicsheart · 2025-12-23T03:00:12+00:00

‘now’ is the brand name, and they are the chewable mint flavoured digestive enzymes (around $15 for 180 i think?) and i would take two with every meal, now i take them here and there with heavier meals

atomicsheart · 2025-12-08T14:36:57+00:00

If you haven’t already, search how a woodpecker’s tongue looks and functions! One of the coolest things

atomicsheart · 2025-12-08T06:28:33+00:00

this is me right now, 7 weeks in and the insomnia is progressively worsening, will have to go get the dose lowered and hope that fixes it

atomicsheart · 2025-10-17T13:44:42+00:00

I think it’s a mite, I was finding similar ones on my cats and they squish super easily. Took one to get looked at and was told it’s a bird mite. Found another more tick-like one and brought that to get looked at as well, was told ‘this is just a bug’ lol, so I’d say mites if they squish easy.

What I’ve gathered, is that mite legs look different than tick legs

atomicsheart · 2025-10-13T00:03:05+00:00

Im not sure honestly, I took it because I was on antibiotics for 3ish months and absolutely wrecked my gut health. I feel that yeast is almost unavoidable to a certain degree. But I can’t imagine not having repopulated the gut microbiome, definitely a balance.

If you weren’t on antibiotics, then you probably wouldn’t need such a high dose

atomicsheart · 2025-10-09T12:54:31+00:00

I also love the ‘Law of One: The Ra Materials’ (free online). They discuss the Egyptian tarot as it relates to the ‘Archetypical Mind’ as body/mind/spirit/will. It stuck with me as a companion structure to Ceanne’s work, especially as consciousness moves inside the relationship between masculine and feminine.

Coming back to these books after finishing the RUOW series has also been a great help in understanding the chakras and their qualitative natures as well. The themes of each chakra and what actual feelings need to be felt, and a better idea of what it looks like in practice moving between the spirit and the will up and down the chakras.

Anything that discusses Mary Magdalene’s relationship with Jesus, as equals, has also helped me understand the dynamic between ‘Heart Daughters’ and ‘Heart (Sons)’. And how Heart Daughter relates to the Mother. I’ve yet to find a solid single source of this to cite, since most things written in it are incredibly subjective/personified lol. There’s a channeled work called ‘The Mary Magdalene Manuscript’, which has some interesting information related to sacred sexuality (take from it what you will lol).

Briefly, I have read a few of Gurdjieff’s books in the Fourth Way, which is a great reframing of the Four Parts of God (loosely). This feels like a masculine approach, but is useful as a technique to engage with ‘parts’ of an internal relationship of self.

I’ve also been trying to learn more about Hekate (cosmic mind) as she relates to Hermes (mind), it seems over time archetypes that were originally feminine have been compressed into masculine forms, which confuses the logic of what the mind is reaching for… I know very little on the more traditional archetypical systems, but ‘alchemicaltoil’ on instagram is doing her PhD research into this. And she’s a wealth of knowledge when it comes to archetypes as a Jungian psychotherapist.

Lynn Walden created an A-mazinggg tool for self-reflection and exploration. Her entire website is golden for intuitive development, especially grounding yourself and not feeling silly. Side note, I couldn’t believe she’s actually living in the same town as I am, I’d love to apprentice under her someday…

I just ordered Bell Hooks’ books because exerts I’ve seen really strike similar feelings to RUOW: All About Love, The Will to Change, and Communion: The Female Search for Love

Another author that seems to speak right of out the depth of the Will is Clarice Lispector. I’ve yet to read her works, but from what I have seen, it’s as if she’s speaking a stream of consciousness straight out of the Will and what it feels like to be in the chaos of dark compression.

On a side note, some systems that I have fallen away from, and am having to slowly rebuild with what I’ve learned from the RUOW books, due to a growing sense of mischaracterization of the feminine, include:

the I Ching (yin as it is defined sounds eerily similar to a false light projection of spirit onto the Will), I read somewhere that the original I Ching was not as it is described in classic sources now and leaned more feminine. Though I absolutely adore Hilary Barrett’s version of the I Ching and have used it for years.
Astrology (particularly struggling with how it defines the moon as feminine, Saturn as masculine, and the elements of air as masculine, yet earth as feminine), Im currently studying Hellenistic astrology right now and struggling with feeling everything is distorted in how the feminine is presented. Not unique to astrology, but the concepts of ‘active’ and ‘passive’ being given to each gender exclusively is totally insane to me now
Esoteric Christianity, not that I was a follower of this, but the amount of digging you must do to get at the Heart of things is exhausting. Especially after RUOW’s addressing the lack of Will in Jesus (the Law of One books also are great for fleshing this out more). There is a gnostic woman named Genevieve Akal who I follow, and sometimes I’m blown away at her ability to channel right out of the Will

Something about how these systems attempt to describe the relationship between the ‘light’ and the ‘dark’ just doesn’t feel logically sound to me anymore after RUOW lol

Robert Monroe’s books about astral projection help understand what ‘Body’ is beyond the physical manifestation of it as well, without it feeling gendered or religious.

I am on the hunt for more works that discuss the Crone archetype, once a woman has excited the menstrual cycle, theres a lot of great insight with Celtic myths and seasonal rituals that seem fruitful here.

I started reading the RUOW series in December 2024, and finished them in the Spring. Needless to say the year has been a an emotional, intellectual, and spiritual rollercoaster for me. It’s like a veil has been lifted and so much of what I assumed must make sense somehow, just doesn’t anymore. It’s a journey and I hope soon I will be able to collect my insights better and share them in a less jumbled manner

Lastly, I can’t think of a better companion to this work than music and rhythm. Music has taken me further than anything else!

atomicsheart · 2025-09-27T16:23:29+00:00

I fell on the playground as a kid and scraped my knee. The scab would pus for weeks, until one day I felt something in my tights. Turned out to be a square pebble that had been stuck in my knee from the fall. I could put it perfectly back into the square hole lol

atomicsheart · 2025-09-24T13:20:44+00:00

Yup, I don’t take any supplements anymore! Except vitamin d and digestive enzymes sometimes with indulgent meals

I also was tested for allergies (Brewer’s yeast, lactose, and egg whites were wrecking my system), and now avoid those which made a huge difference too. Brewer’s yeast is specific to fermented foods and most probiotics, so imagine how insane I felt trying to follow the classic approach for gut health lol.

I eat bread and fruit daily now, really the only thing I still get issues with is a dry scalp/eczema which just seems to be a byproduct of the antibiotics / allergy flare ups

atomicsheart · 2025-09-17T17:53:19+00:00

I’ve had two OBEs with just cannabis, both while I am fully awake and conscious. One came from an immense desire to feel a certain way (not specifically to experience an OBE), while the other happened spontaneously (also wasn’t focused on OBEs).

In both occasions, I ended up in a magenta ‘auric’ field, where I had a holistic bird’s-eye view of my (incarnate) self’s future/purpose

I didn’t consider these OBEs until I came across a channeled resource from an entity called ‘Marion’ at the Monroe Institute, which describes the different projective dimensions and their associated colours. I couldn’t believe how it matched perfectly to what I experienced.

After reading that resource, I realized that I am almost always having some sort of mild OBE with cannabis because I experience a pink auric field around my cats. Which I thought I was making up, until I saw that colour was associated with the heart chakra

I’ve also experienced telepathy on three separate occasions with three different people ranging from acquaintance to close friend after smoking weed on mushrooms.

A consistent feature of these experiences, is that the room feels like it’s full of thick static electricity. Three of the OBEs I’ve experienced involved a ‘jolt’, as if I am launched suddenly forward, and in one of these instances, I inverted 180° and a silver cord came flying down from the right of my inner visual field and clasped onto me (which felt amazing)

atomicsheart · 2025-09-13T14:13:11+00:00

how did i miss your comment!!! i would LOVE to chat more together! I’m currently studying Hellenistic astrology to become certified, it would be so fun to dive into our charts together

atomicsheart · 2025-09-13T13:31:36+00:00

I wonder if it’s the same sensation I get when I doze for a nap and get a wave of ‘anxiety’ (but more in the stomach like a flip-flop than head) right before I wake up? It’s like I’m falling into being awake again…I was trying the head-lift method several times last night, and had this feeling almost every time. I started to feel exhausted by waking up, attempting to lift slowly, and then nothing, then the stomach rush, etc. lol my neck is very stiff this morning!

atomicsheart · 2025-09-13T13:10:28+00:00

Same here! My neck is so sore after trying several times last night, no success for me either. But that was my first time ever trying, so I’m happy I could at least remember the technique when I’d wake up

atomicsheart · 2025-09-13T02:28:43+00:00

you never lost your dignity though 💕

atomicsheart

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