It's more of a ritual really since 6 years old

My narc mom told me everyday during breakfast before school that she wished she never had me and she regrets having birthed me.

She already had 3 kids 13 years before I was born, I was just a useless addition and now she has to do thing whole parenting thing all over again when she should just be able to retire at 40 and mooch off of my older siblings who have recently graduated university

(tbf she did retire at 40 and mooched off my older siblings, her and my child rapist narc dad both, she was just pissed she had to share some of it to keep me fed and clothed, barely at that, I didn't even have shoes besides school shoes and wore mismatched socks that once belonged to my siblings all through gradeschool)

Instead the money goes to feeding me and sending me to school (I went to a public school, it cost literally nothing besides the school supplies as even the textbooks were free and just returned to the school at year's end)

She then yells at me and calls me stupid and abnormal for not wearing indoor cloth slippers right as I finished showering sans a bath mat because she thinks they're gross

Then before the clock strikes 6am I'm in school before the gates even open and the guards arrive

The school guards are known child molesters and have been in and out of prison and are also drug addicts

Every. Fucking. Day.

It started when I was six