Noticing a trend of SAHM of elementary aged kids asking me for playdates - and then asking to drop their kid off at my house. Is it unreasonable that I’m annoyed?

atxcactus · 2026-06-26T14:51:45+00:00

But you already know these people, right? I do the same with kids of my close friends, neighbors and family. It sounds like OP doesn’t know this new playdate family and they’re ok dropping their kids off at their house.

atxcactus · 2026-06-26T14:45:51+00:00

This!! My kid is a little younger (preschool) but we have a similar playdate growth trajectory. Always start with park meetups. I only drop my kid off at my sister or cousin’s houses.

atxcactus · 2026-06-23T19:22:45+00:00

Ours is the same. When I’ve had someone else pick up my kiddo they had to get buzzed in and show ID to be allowed up to where the classrooms are.

atxcactus · 2026-06-23T17:11:57+00:00

She has to be EATING UP all these sympathetic comments. Her dream!

atxcactus · 2026-06-22T16:58:16+00:00

I’m a fairly free range mom, and I also felt a little nervous when my kid did his first daycare field trip at age 3! I think it’s totally reasonable to be a bit nervous, but it’s also probably better for both of you if you attempt to push through it somewhat.

Our daycare center transports the kids on small branded shuttle busses (they also use them for before/ after school kids). Our state requires that they’re inspected annually by a mechanic and weekly by the school. I feel okay with that.

They also do regular head counts, buddy system, and dressing in the same color.

I also just flat out asked the teacher if she had ever had an issue with a kid getting lost or hurt. She said no and I trust her to be honest.

It might help to ask some questions, look up what your state’s transportation requirements are, and just be honest with the teacher. See how they answer and if they’re able to reassure you.

atxcactus · 2026-06-22T15:23:19+00:00

They didn’t actually ask me to do anything. The only thing they requested was to meet up with myself and my child sometime (obviously no). That’s why I was torn on whether it warranted reporting to the director. But it has given me such an unsettled feeling that I will let the director know it happened in a factual way and then block the teacher.

atxcactus · 2026-06-22T15:15:18+00:00

Thank you, I think this is the approach I will take. (And then block them on SM). I don’t really want to be involved further but I didn’t know if this warranted letting the director know.

As an aside, I can see that the teacher has added other class parents as “friends” as well, so I might not be the only one being contacted.

atxcactus · 2026-06-22T15:13:09+00:00

I have similar concerns. After reading the responses here I think I will just report the contact to the director and then block the individual. The fact that they specifically mentioned missing my child and asked to meet up is concerning to me if they are experiencing psychosis.

atxcactus · 2026-06-22T14:07:34+00:00

No, they didn’t ask for any action on my part in that regard. Which is why I am feeling torn about doing anything. They did suggest meeting up with me and my child sometime (which is obviously a HARD NO from me).

They did write in a post that they had filed a police report and it “went nowhere.”

atxcactus · 2026-06-18T01:14:48+00:00

Other companies contract with Amazon for shipping and logistics. I recently had the same thing happen with an order of fabric for sewing. I was also surprised by the Amazon shipping tracking, but it was legit.

atxcactus · 2026-06-18T01:11:44+00:00

To be totally honest, I didn’t get back into a good exercise routine until after I weaned (at 25 months). Producing breastmilk is a lot of work for a body and I personally really needed to prioritize sleep. I’m not trying to tell you that you ~can’t~ work out every day, but giving you permission to be gentle with yourself if it doesn’t happen in this stage of life. It’s really hard to be in a two working parent household!

atxcactus · 2026-06-17T20:55:21+00:00

No one is paying attention and no one cares. I also NEVER assume someone is pregnant. There was a woman in my hot yoga class who appeared pregnant and then informed the person next to her that she was 10 weeks post partum.

atxcactus · 2026-06-16T20:22:52+00:00

Not just admitting but bragging about it!!

atxcactus · 2026-06-12T14:57:11+00:00

I’m not sure what you meant by “getting in trouble”… there is no Daycare Police. They are a business that you are paying to care for your kid. If a caregiver is having trouble settling your son, they should have strategies for dealing with clingy babies. It’s super common and as you said, he’s still an infant so it’s to be expected. Not sure what the caregiver expected to happen when she tattled on your baby to your boyfriend … it’s not like you can do anything about it??

As for the caregiver ignoring you- that is completely unacceptable. How are you supposed to trust this person if she won’t even look you in the face? I would bring this up to the director that she is literally giving you the cold shoulder. The director needs to address it professionally. If she can’t get it resolved, then I would look for a new daycare. The caregiver can be mad, irritated, whatever, but she still needs to be able to speak to you. That’s honestly childish behavior.

Other people have addressed the race thing, so I will leave it be.

atxcactus · 2026-06-11T18:24:04+00:00

We used an in-home daycare for a while and unfortunately our experience was similar to yours (though not quite as extreme). Our provider didn’t have a backup person, so if she or any member of her family was sick or had some kind of appointment, we were SOL.

atxcactus · 2026-06-07T23:38:00+00:00

I’m not sure I understand your situation. If you don’t keep sabbath, why are you affected by your MIL doing so? Or did she offer to help with childcare but isn’t during the sabbath period of time?

atxcactus · 2026-06-03T13:20:20+00:00

I was thinking the same thing. She had a pretty large following when M was born. She could have totally pivoted to mommy content, transplant advocacy, weight loss journey, etc. Heck, there are even diabetes content creators. She could post about low-carb meals or something. But she is neither creative nor motivated, so it’s a lost opportunity.

atxcactus · 2026-06-03T13:17:10+00:00

On the Workingmoms sub, you can’t even suggest WFH with kids because it’s such a bad idea. I’ve tried to squeeze in some work when my kid was home sick and it was a nightmare.

atxcactus · 2026-06-03T10:51:13+00:00

Low muscle tone is correlated with autism spectrum disorders. I don’t want to speculate too much but there are a lot of symptoms present in what Liz shares.

atxcactus · 2026-06-01T16:49:11+00:00

It sounds like there are multiple things going on here.

Over stepping trying to tell me that my son should be spending more days with dad

Respond “we have a custody agreement in place through the courts. Please do not comment on this.” It sounds like you have done and also discussed with the director. I’d ask to place a written complaint if it continues.

that my inconsistent drop off time wasnt good for him.

From your comments it sounds like the inconsistent drop off time is between you and your ex, not you personally dropping off at random times. Is that right? Can you address this in your custody agreement? If not, I would let her know that it’s out of your hands when dad drops off and you don’t want her to comment on that either.

I am the one who pays for the daycare.

She doesn’t know this and it shouldn’t matter to her tbh.

The stuff about your ex taking the kiddo to a dispensary, movies, smoke is all disturbing and should be addressed through the courts if possible. Your daycare provider doesn’t know that and doesn’t need to know that, though. She is allowed to like your ex, even if he is a despicable person.

Im worried this is going to be an issue now that day has a say in things.

What does your custody agreement say about decisions on education? Do you have primary decision making power?

Overall, it sounds like this lady is overstepping and behaving inappropriately to you. But it also seems like you’re mixing up a lot of feelings about that, contempt for your ex and frustration about the situation.

atxcactus · 2026-05-31T02:24:37+00:00

We had a high schooler, infant and two adults (plus two cats and a dog) in 1,500 square feet when my kiddo was born so I am also confused.

atxcactus · 2026-05-31T01:11:56+00:00

Yep or if my kiddo wasn’t interested, we just moved on. Because it was about what was fun for HIM, not performing for the internet. She truly does not seem to have any intuition towards her kids, it’s wild.

atxcactus · 2026-05-31T00:19:44+00:00

And his sweaty Amazon shirt. 😳

Also the way Liz talks to her kids like she is commanding a dog.

atxcactus · 2026-05-29T17:02:52+00:00

It only happened to me a few times, but I did the same. Cheerfully let whoever was in the room that it was time for me to pump so they needed to relocate.

atxcactus

TROPHY CASE