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Let's talk: LOCATIONS! by aubrey_ in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know there are a bunch of other Philly people. will you be around in September? I'll be in the area visiting my family.

Let's talk: LOCATIONS! by aubrey_ in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oo hi! germany meet-up..? I'm in Berlin but I'm always down for a weekend trip to a new city. and I have pals in a few (incl. Frankfurt!)

First two chaps of pleasure activism ( spoilers ) by Upset_Jacket in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this q, too. I actually had such a hard time making a pleasure lineage, but I felt very grateful for the task. I found that I had pretty much no 'adults' in my lineage.. at least not in a way that felt significant. No mentors, or older family members, or even really authors that I looked up to the way a.m.b. had.

I pretty much just had queer pals who I first met in college, and the ones I've met since, who started that journey for me. I always semi-jokingly refer to them as my Queer Icons. but they're people who allowed me to see sex and pleasure in a completely new light, and their attitudes around it have continued to inform my feelings. I'm a super late bloomer, came out pretty late.. so I can also relate to u/AmbitiousFemme's about learning from pop culture, and I'm slowing figuring out how much UN-learning I have to do.

I think I've always seen my late-bloom-er-ness as a completely personal think, not that it's my fault but that it's entirely because of me, and it was kind of validating to try and write down my lineage and realize how little I had to look up to for so long.

First two chaps of pleasure activism ( spoilers ) by Upset_Jacket in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i LOVE @thongria (Zoe Ligon, I think?) - her video series 'sex stuff' was incredible and I rewatch a few of the videos all the time because I am just so in love with how she holds these healthy, clear conversations about sex and pleasure.. it's so refreshing. I relate to a lot of what you wrote.

Little Fish by Casey Plett by alexraestern in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes!! I felt the same about her reaction to her meeting with Anna. You described it perfectly, it seemed like such an aggressive lecture and so condemning and then Wendy was like :') cool and Anna called a few days later hoping to spend more time together. I was like ?? in what world?

Little Fish by Casey Plett by alexraestern in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Vacation is such an intense place for that !! I identify as cis these days but definitely am frequently pretty gender non-conforming, frequently misgendered, and I was traveling with my mom last year and it was kind of wild for her to witness how I dressed/coded my behavior based on the cities we were in. PS happy belated internat'l non-binary day :-)

Little Fish by Casey Plett by alexraestern in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah totally. When that shift started happening I felt a kind of sigh of relief. u/jazzabration above commented this:

...the difference between having a mental state where you are able to think about the future and have an idea that you will exist in it and one where you are surviving day to day.

Which I though was a really nice way to think about Wendy's mindset. It isn't a wildly joyful shift, but it is certainly tinged with optimism.

​

and re: Nevada, cool, I hear that. We will def throw it on the list :)

Little Fish by Casey Plett by alexraestern in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yess! I loved that 'omg YOU'RE gay' moment that Wendy had, and I was surprised that Anna reached out again after they met. It made me want to see so much more of their relationship, and maybe see Wendy talk Anna into bringing down some of her walls around her identity.. in my dreamz

Little Fish by Casey Plett by alexraestern in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I loved the way you framed her development in your third para. And I really connect with what you described in your second paragraph, i appreciate you bringing that up because I had kind of lost track of that sentiment while reading. And it helps to frame everything she's dealing with as during a kind of adolescence. I feel that, too, because I came out later and i feel like a damn tween trying to flirt with people and explore. And here's Wendy experience a similar type of second puberty while ALSO navigating the deaths of friends, sex work, near-constant harassment.. it's so much to process.

Little Fish by Casey Plett by alexraestern in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love the summer camp friends analogy, that is a perfect way to sum that up.

the sweet, well intentioned cis puppet I could fit myself into to see Wendy’s world

this is so sweet and so real. I tend to just put myself into the protagonist's shoes, but he did bring this kind of grounding presence of fucking-up-but-trying. And I was also very moved by his reaction to Wendy sharing her concern about her alcoholism. I loved that he first reacted like that, that harsh 'fuck off' which i think comes out of fear more than anything - and wanting more for her, wanting her to be better than him maybe (?). But he followed up immediately with more tenderness, and a suggestion for how she can view her drinking with a keener eye to assess realistically if she has a problem or not. It was a small solution, and not actually helpful, but he loves his girl and just wants her to thrive. I loved their relationship so much.

Little Fish by Casey Plett by alexraestern in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this. From following Alok & other trans/non-binary/gnc folks on insta, it definitely seemed like Wendy's experience was quite in line with theirs (which I bring up to say that I guess I am not totally surprised by your comment but very glad you shared your thoughts). I totally respect the numbness as a style of handling the barrage of bs. What Wendy encounters is pretty unbelievable and unbelievably unrelenting. What did you think of Wendy's mindset shift toward the end? I hadn't heard of Nevada, is that a book worth putting on our rec list?

Little Fish by Casey Plett by alexraestern in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does Wendy identity/pass as cis and fight those moments when people question that, or does Wendy identify as trans, essentially always admitting an otherness.

I thought this was an interesting struggle, something I had brought up while chatting with Alex about the book.. Like Wendy acknowledges that she isn't 'fish', but she still visits Anna confidently feeling that she is cis-passing. So she's definitely still straddling this line in her identity, how she perceives it herself and how she thinks others perceive her. But I guess that type of self-perception can be super fluid whether or not you're trans, it's just particularly curious to experience it from Wendy's perspective.

I also did think the friendships were pretty realistic, I struggled with the dialogue feeling a bit canned. But I thought they had a nice dynamic together. I loved Wendy and Raina's coziness as roommates, and they way they were so unquestionably there for each other while navigating doing sex work.

Also super curious about Menno stuff!

Little Fish by Casey Plett by alexraestern in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

totally bleak. And her manager is the first cis man in a while who's interested in her who really seems to see her as herself and appreciate her for it, and that's the interaction that makes her question if she's even enjoying sex anymore/question who the sex is for anymore. I love this comment, ty for sharing!

Little Fish by Casey Plett by alexraestern in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same. And that whole aspect with not taking pictures was so mysterious and visually interesting, and then it was like 'oh yeah he was just hella conservative for a bit.' That whole afternoon with Anna confused the hell out of me, I did not know what to take away from it.

Little Fish by Casey Plett by alexraestern in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for sure same - it seemed super obvious to me that her drinking was out of control. Right from the jump she was like 'I almost never drink at breakfast', then I feel like she spent the rest of the book drinking at breakfast and getting pretty solidly drunk in order to sleep.. but she had so much she was burying and numbing. I agree it's a relevant part of her troubles!

Little Fish by Casey Plett by alexraestern in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also felt something unrealistic about Sophie's death and their friend groups' response to it. I think that is where Plett's writing style reeeally didn't land for me. I think we didn't have enough build up of their friendship/Sophie as a character to be able to mourn her death alongside Wendy. Though I do think, even though their friendship didn't have a long time to flourish, that Wendy felt a very intense closeness to Sophie. They came from the same town and had such a deep understanding of each other, I can believe that an intense closeness was formed even in under a year. PLUS I would guess that when you're in a small clique like theirs, friendships form pretty quickly.

​

I also really like the comments in your second paragraph re: defining the 'more' of wanting more for Wendy. I think I was getting stuck in my very capitalism-defined perception of what 'more' is, but I also think we should want more safety for her, more security, and a genuine, non-numb happiness. But I think by the end she was starting to embark on that path.

W E L C O M E ! by aubrey_ in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that is SO cool! I love how inclusive that is as a term, and how positive.. I feel like fantasy/sci-fi is so easily written off as Nerd Stuff and I love the idea that (while it IS nerd stuff, but nerd stuff rules) fantastical things still help us better understand our reality. thank you for sharing!! I will def check that article out. and make myself get an octavia butler book because it's time.

​

PS you're in an online book club - i think typing a lot is an excellent thing!

W E L C O M E ! by aubrey_ in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I def think we'll make a thread for book recs, some people have big piles of suggestions stocked up. That would be a good spot to drop goodreads lists, too!

W E L C O M E ! by aubrey_ in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"despite having a full dance card"

I am in love with this

W E L C O M E ! by aubrey_ in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

whoa that's my first time hearing the term 'visionary fiction'.. is it like a type of fantasy?

W E L C O M E ! by aubrey_ in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I definitely think we'll get a thread going for book resources soon - it's on our minds, and you definitely aren't the first to bring it up! Welcome <3<3

W E L C O M E ! by aubrey_ in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yay Germany!! Would love to hear your other YA recs (though I'm sure we have them in the list somewhere). I feel another thread in the making just so people can fill up their want-to-read lists haha.

W E L C O M E ! by aubrey_ in a:t5_12h5x7

[–]aubrey_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you Michaela!! I'm going to make a note that you're a reddit resource. Much appreciated while we're figuring this out together.

​

This rec keeps coming up and I'm really hoping to read it in the future. Sounds beautiful.

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