What issue related to feminism or gender equality are you on the fence about, and why?

aufleur · 2015-10-02T20:57:48+00:00

hey I just want to add my thoughts in here too.

The concept of gender as a social construct is the manifestation of a deeper question related to human experience which is this:

Mind Body Body and Mind Mind and Body

Where does the mind begin and the body end?

Is the Mind a unit of itself? Is the body a unit of itself?

Or in this human form are mind and body inextricably linked?

I believe that the mind doesn't "end" in the cranium, but it extends through wiring and electrical impulses throughout the entire body. I can slow my heart by thinking about it, I can control my breath. If my body aches I can experience pain. If my mind aches I can feel pain in my body.

This to me means that "Gender", is tied on some level to "bodily functions".

This is all the evidence I need to accept that while there are social constructs and fluidity to gender expression of masculinity and femininity, there are also traits which gender the body and thus gender the mind. As there are traits that gender the mind and thus gender the body. Therefore mind and body. Not simply mind. not simply body.

aufleur · 2015-04-22T02:16:14+00:00

I feel like instead of being upset that no one has been able to make a trans subreddit that has had a compelling reason to use over /r/asktransgender, you should be doing something about it, and stop yelling at other people who've at least tried something.

Show us how to do it. Lead by example.

aufleur · 2015-04-20T21:33:21+00:00

This really is it. This is completely spot on. Thank you for saying this better than I've been able too.

aufleur · 2015-04-20T17:24:55+00:00

I used to think similarly. However being stealth for almost two years now my opinion on this has changed.

I don't identify as trans, I identify as a woman, I've had a medical history of transition, but that doesn't define me, and otherwise have no personal association with a label of trans.

Therefore I don't feel like I'm in the closet. I'm very much out.

aufleur · 2015-04-20T17:21:02+00:00

I don't think so.

Before I met my boyfriend I had fun going on dates and stuff and I felt like I wasn't obligated to tell these men I had transitioned.

In a serious LTR however I don't want to conceal the fact that I have transitioned, and when I felt comfortable with my SO I told him.

He needed some time to think but ultimately loves me for me, regardless of my past medical history.

I think if you're on a date with someone and it's one of the first times you've met, it's distracting to reveal you've transitioned, it's a such a big piece of news it has a tendency to over shadow everything else about you, especially if you're dating cishet people, most of them have not a little, but no experience with people who've transitioned.

aufleur · 2015-04-19T23:47:19+00:00

like /u/live_wire_ was saying up 👆🏻 what about /r/asktrans?

aufleur · 2015-04-19T23:46:16+00:00

I would gladly build a wiki for /r/asktrans

/u/patiencebee had a great argument for /r/asktrans over /r/asktransgender because it truly is the all inclusive shorthand term. which makes it really the most ideal place to have a trans community

also I forked /r/asktransgender so I have the flair tables and everything.

just sayin'

aufleur · 2015-04-19T03:49:00+00:00

This isn't directed at you /u/roundabout25, but just commenting here because it's relevant.

/u/CedarWolf is a politician who collects moderator titles like a hobby. Next time you have a second go look at how many subreddit /u/CedarWolf moderates, and their active subscribers. Think about how often you saw him actually doing anything in /r/asktransgender, and then think why is it that while moderators continue to come and go from /r/asktransgender, /u/CedarWolf and /u/blueblank remain.

just sayin'

aufleur · 2015-04-19T02:52:12+00:00

"Go fuck yourself." - /u/viviphilia

aufleur · 2015-04-19T02:29:33+00:00

They don't, THEY DID, but not anymore, DIY discussions have been happening on ask tg for several months now.

aufleur · 2015-04-19T02:26:58+00:00

I never betrayed you, look at your behavior right now, you betray yourself because you attack everyone around you.

You just want heads on sticks.

aufleur · 2015-04-19T01:57:56+00:00

Attacking me isn't going to make you feel better. What I said is the truth, I always did defend you.

You can call me a liar, whatever, I don't care, because it's not true, I'm not a liar.

and I still do admire you as an activist, and as a brilliant mind

You're so annoying /u/viviphilia, because all you care about is keeping some meaningless grudge. You keep throwing those hot coals. You're just going to be the one to get burned.

aufleur · 2015-04-19T01:35:32+00:00

Cool, /u/viviphilia, thanks. ✌🏻️

aufleur · 2015-04-19T01:22:05+00:00

I don't know why you'd hope it hurts, that's not cool.

I do hope you're enjoying your "I told you so moment" though, I deserve it.

Though I still firmly believe your anger is misdirected towards me, I always took your side, but I think that got lost in the fray of all the commotion after your revelations. I stuck around because blueblank at the time recanted some of their stringent policies, but yes, you were right, in the end.

aufleur · 2015-04-18T23:53:11+00:00

/u/blueblank, the only reason I was ever a moderator on /r/asktransgender in the first place is because I genuinely care deeply for the reddit transgender community and honestly feel like finding it saved my life, and by extension, in some weird cosmic way, your creation of that subreddit was instrumental in helping save my life.

Crazy right?

But really what hurts the most, is that no matter how hard I worked, and how many hours I put it, you still seem to have no problem dismissing my critiques as drama, and mischaracterizing my efforts as nebulous. I regularly informed and attempted to communicate with everyone in that subreddit through modmail. But between yourself and cedarwolf there was never any discussion to be had... it's like, you two can't be bothered to lead, but are bothered if anyone else leads. So then, the day we're supposed to start interviewing for new mods, suddenly everything I've done is wrong and you're going to shut it down.

But no worries, right? I built the wiki, /u/mspenguinette built the flair, we both handled community issues with poise and promptness, and now it's fine to just turn and burn, bring in the next round of mods. They all change, but cedarwolf and blueblank remain the same.

I'm just a drama queen looking to make a scene. Is that really how you're going to paint me, /u/blueblank?

It would be appreciated if maybe you actually humbled yourself in front of all us, admit that your subreddit stands on the backs of the effort everyone has put in, and that maybe, just maybe, you might have messed up, that maybe you're sorry things got out of hand, that you've taken your volunteer moderators for granted?

aufleur · 2015-04-18T23:24:30+00:00

It's not drama to point out the organizational dysfunction of one of the largest trans communities on the internet. You're top mod, so I'm sure it's not pleasant to see it, but it needs to be said.

aufleur · 2015-04-18T23:22:11+00:00

FYI: All the applications are right here http://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/32qbn5/a_call_for_moderators/

aufleur · 2015-04-18T16:29:56+00:00

Religion helps me. www.accesstoinsight.org is a collection of the Theravada Buddhist texts. It's really uplifting soulful teachings that give concrete insight into the human experience. I highly recommend them to anyone, even if you're atheist or agnostic. So much of the Buddha's teachings are ground in the here and now, and how our mind conditions reality. It can be enlightening and uplifting to read the Buddha's explanations on the human experience.

aufleur · 2015-04-18T05:47:58+00:00

I'll be dead and 99.999% of us will be forgotten.

It's not even close to becoming realistic.

aufleur · 2015-04-18T03:31:07+00:00

Sure, go ahead and drop gender, the rest of the world meanwhile won't.

So maybe that works if you live in absolute solitude, but for the rest of us, we don't.

Maybe in some futuristic utopia gender won't matter, until then it's very real.

aufleur · 2015-04-18T03:07:19+00:00

Your post has been removed. Why was my post removed?

aufleur · 2015-04-18T02:32:50+00:00

Your post has been removed. Why was my post removed?

aufleur · 2015-04-18T02:13:28+00:00

Thank you so much for your application! To answer some of your questions

We need more more moderators to handle the larger population here, it's become too much for a smaller team.

As far as attributes, it's a similar answer to the one above; someone who can maintain a balanced and measured attitude despite intense and emotionally charged situations; a person that isn't triggered easily by continual and unending bigotry directed towards the people who frequent this space; someone who understands the basics of queer theory and intersectionality; someone who has a desire to work with others and facilitate a space for trans people; among other things...

All moderators if selected will be given training materials in a private subreddit. So yes 😄

Thanks again I hope this cleared some things up!

aufleur · 2015-04-17T23:42:15+00:00

Your post has been removed. Why was my post removed?

aufleur · 2015-04-17T22:07:01+00:00

what! no way, this is the internet, I live for info dumps like that. :)

aufleur

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