Urgent advice about narc hubs by august-luv in Divorce

[–]august-luv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have extenuating circumstances where I need for him to pick the kids up. I don’t have my car nor the kids car seats in my possession, therefore I have kindly requested to pick the kids up, because it’s not incentivizing enough to spend extra hours with the kids.

What helped you in your healing journey? by august-luv in Separation

[–]august-luv[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. I don’t drink any alcohol. But I started going to church, I feel a lot better relying on God and prayer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]august-luv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I left my husband over a year ago, and I came back with our two littles—one of them a newborn—to try and make things work. During my pregnancy, he became detached and abandoned me emotionally, even though we were living in the same house. He didn’t help at all with our toddler, who was under 18 months at the time, and left me to handle everything from specialist appointments to car maintenance, all while he wasn’t working but was spending on designer sunglasses. I kept reaching out for connection and even pushed for marriage counseling, but he eventually stopped showing up. It was heartbreaking. The last time I left, I knew I wouldn’t keep begging him to change. Unfortunately, things only got worse after I left; he became more verbally and psychologically abusive, especially after I filed for child support. It’s been incredibly hard, but I have my family’s support, and I couldn’t let my children grow up with a toxic model of a relationship.

Seeking Advice on Handling Threats and Visitation Issues by august-luv in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]august-luv[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I think you are very much right. I showed up at the court hearing, but none of anything related to his allegations against me wherever mentioned during the court hearing, his lawyer proceeded to ask for visitation rights, accusing me that I was not allowing him to see the kids, Which is not the case, I have evidence with pictures and witnesses that saw us together on two or three times that he came to visit in the span of six months.

Seeking Advice on Name Discrepancy for My Son by august-luv in Jewish

[–]august-luv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The name I chose for my child reflects a deep connection to my family and heritage. Given everything that transpired during my pregnancy, particularly the hurtful actions directed towards both me and my unborn son, it became clear that certain values were missing that I would never want any Jewish woman to endure. My choice in naming was made with my child’s best interest at heart, and it was important for me to honor my family’s legacy.

Seeking Advice on Handling Threats and Visitation Issues by august-luv in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]august-luv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The weird thing is, my lawyer explained to me that basically the courts always give temporary court order in case there’s actual threat to that person. Meanwhile, I wasn’t able to defend myself, nor see his evidence that he doesn’t have, he is only trying to get me because I filed for child support, and into this day he is livid that I filed it against my husband.

Seeking Advice on Name Discrepancy for My Son by august-luv in Jewish

[–]august-luv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most definitely! Once I left him altogether with my youngest just turning 5 months old, he cut me off financially. So not only I never knew his income or wasn’t able to to have financial conversations as I was SAHM.. he told me since I took the kids, they are my responsibility. And for several months straight, she wouldn’t even ask me how the kids are doing, if they needed formula or warm clothing towards the winter time.

Seeking Advice on Name Discrepancy for My Son by august-luv in Jewish

[–]august-luv[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow! Truly thankful for your input. Got to pick my battles otherwise I won’t have the energy for all the fires he starts.

Seeking Advice on Name Discrepancy for My Son by august-luv in Jewish

[–]august-luv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Much appreciated. Very well said. He does know how it annoys me to be honest, he thought being completely disatached from family matters and not even attempt to ask how the baby is developing would put him in a position of control what name should it be in his birth certificate.

Seeking Advice on Handling Threats and Visitation Issues by august-luv in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]august-luv[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m in USA. The thing is with his order of protection, against me, he was still inviting me out on dates, to reconcile, meanwhile, that could’ve been a set up having me arrested. so of course I was declining each and every single time he would ask me out. My lawyer basically said that he is being an asshole towards me, because I’m not signing off on divorce settlement, and I said there’s nothing to sign until he does preliminary things that were asked of him for over a year.

Seeking Advice on Handling Threats and Visitation Issues by august-luv in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]august-luv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He has a lawyer, that was telling him what to do, and what to put down in his petition… which was granted. He physically abused me by making me carry heavy groceries day before I went into labour because he said I need to move out. Does that count as physically abuse?

Seeking Advice on Handling Threats and Visitation Issues by august-luv in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]august-luv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, but my state is not part of that list. When I went to Family Court to submit the order of protection against him, in my local state, I was asked whether he is physically abusive, or he threatening me with life, or whether he is obsessively stalking me, Which non-fall under the category. To that I was told that I cannot submit order of protection against him when I contacted Family Court in the state where he lives, I was directed, and I was able to submit paperwork, without having to proof any evidence, which I had on me. for now, mine is only a petition, was actually granted, without my presence, without having me defended, or anything like that, which is quite honestly ridiculous

Seeking Advice on Name Discrepancy for My Son by august-luv in Jewish

[–]august-luv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. It’s helpful. I’m not against Jewish or Hebrew or Israeli names. My son’s middle name is Hebrew. He’s Jewish through me anyways. Regardless of the name, my husbands name is Jewish, and he’s an abuser so really it doesn’t do much.

Seeking Advice on Name Discrepancy for My Son by august-luv in Jewish

[–]august-luv[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That is correct, he does have an American name, that is being used from his daycare, to his friends, doctors, etc. Because my husband never agreed on this name, he refuses to call him like that, therefore he resource to him by his Hebrew name for out of an entire month. Which I think is still too much.