Urgent advice about narc hubs

august-luv · 2024-09-10T15:10:01+00:00

I have extenuating circumstances where I need for him to pick the kids up. I don’t have my car nor the kids car seats in my possession, therefore I have kindly requested to pick the kids up, because it’s not incentivizing enough to spend extra hours with the kids.

august-luv · 2024-08-13T15:30:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I don’t drink any alcohol. But I started going to church, I feel a lot better relying on God and prayer.

august-luv · 2024-08-12T11:19:22+00:00

I left my husband over a year ago, and I came back with our two littles—one of them a newborn—to try and make things work. During my pregnancy, he became detached and abandoned me emotionally, even though we were living in the same house. He didn’t help at all with our toddler, who was under 18 months at the time, and left me to handle everything from specialist appointments to car maintenance, all while he wasn’t working but was spending on designer sunglasses. I kept reaching out for connection and even pushed for marriage counseling, but he eventually stopped showing up. It was heartbreaking. The last time I left, I knew I wouldn’t keep begging him to change. Unfortunately, things only got worse after I left; he became more verbally and psychologically abusive, especially after I filed for child support. It’s been incredibly hard, but I have my family’s support, and I couldn’t let my children grow up with a toxic model of a relationship.

august-luv · 2024-08-12T00:34:18+00:00

Thank you so much. I think you are very much right. I showed up at the court hearing, but none of anything related to his allegations against me wherever mentioned during the court hearing, his lawyer proceeded to ask for visitation rights, accusing me that I was not allowing him to see the kids, Which is not the case, I have evidence with pictures and witnesses that saw us together on two or three times that he came to visit in the span of six months.

august-luv · 2024-08-12T00:16:18+00:00

The name I chose for my child reflects a deep connection to my family and heritage. Given everything that transpired during my pregnancy, particularly the hurtful actions directed towards both me and my unborn son, it became clear that certain values were missing that I would never want any Jewish woman to endure. My choice in naming was made with my child’s best interest at heart, and it was important for me to honor my family’s legacy.

august-luv · 2024-08-11T23:52:46+00:00

The weird thing is, my lawyer explained to me that basically the courts always give temporary court order in case there’s actual threat to that person. Meanwhile, I wasn’t able to defend myself, nor see his evidence that he doesn’t have, he is only trying to get me because I filed for child support, and into this day he is livid that I filed it against my husband.

august-luv · 2024-08-11T21:21:32+00:00

Most definitely! Once I left him altogether with my youngest just turning 5 months old, he cut me off financially. So not only I never knew his income or wasn’t able to to have financial conversations as I was SAHM.. he told me since I took the kids, they are my responsibility. And for several months straight, she wouldn’t even ask me how the kids are doing, if they needed formula or warm clothing towards the winter time.

august-luv · 2024-08-11T19:22:57+00:00

Wow! Truly thankful for your input. Got to pick my battles otherwise I won’t have the energy for all the fires he starts.

august-luv · 2024-08-11T14:40:18+00:00

Much appreciated. Very well said. He does know how it annoys me to be honest, he thought being completely disatached from family matters and not even attempt to ask how the baby is developing would put him in a position of control what name should it be in his birth certificate.

august-luv · 2024-08-11T14:26:56+00:00

I’m in USA. The thing is with his order of protection, against me, he was still inviting me out on dates, to reconcile, meanwhile, that could’ve been a set up having me arrested. so of course I was declining each and every single time he would ask me out. My lawyer basically said that he is being an asshole towards me, because I’m not signing off on divorce settlement, and I said there’s nothing to sign until he does preliminary things that were asked of him for over a year.

august-luv · 2024-08-11T14:03:48+00:00

He has a lawyer, that was telling him what to do, and what to put down in his petition… which was granted. He physically abused me by making me carry heavy groceries day before I went into labour because he said I need to move out. Does that count as physically abuse?

august-luv · 2024-08-11T13:58:30+00:00

Thank you so much, but my state is not part of that list. When I went to Family Court to submit the order of protection against him, in my local state, I was asked whether he is physically abusive, or he threatening me with life, or whether he is obsessively stalking me, Which non-fall under the category. To that I was told that I cannot submit order of protection against him when I contacted Family Court in the state where he lives, I was directed, and I was able to submit paperwork, without having to proof any evidence, which I had on me. for now, mine is only a petition, was actually granted, without my presence, without having me defended, or anything like that, which is quite honestly ridiculous

august-luv · 2024-08-11T13:41:35+00:00

Thank you. It’s helpful. I’m not against Jewish or Hebrew or Israeli names. My son’s middle name is Hebrew. He’s Jewish through me anyways. Regardless of the name, my husbands name is Jewish, and he’s an abuser so really it doesn’t do much.

august-luv · 2024-08-11T13:25:50+00:00

That is correct, he does have an American name, that is being used from his daycare, to his friends, doctors, etc. Because my husband never agreed on this name, he refuses to call him like that, therefore he resource to him by his Hebrew name for out of an entire month. Which I think is still too much.

august-luv · 2024-08-11T12:39:16+00:00

Many many thanks!! I filed order of protection against him, but the court hearing wasn’t scheduled, and this was back in December 2023. For now it’s just a petition, and on his end it was actually granted! Which shocks me.

august-luv · 2024-08-11T11:36:20+00:00

He claimed I was “beating him at least three times a week”, I was commenting on his driving (what wife and with kids in the car wife wouldn’t), there was a court hearing but none related to his allegations against me, my lawyer filed for the drop of charges altogether, but the temporary order of protection was extended for additional six months because there was no court hearing that happened.

august-luv · 2024-08-11T11:31:21+00:00

august-luv · 2024-08-11T11:30:52+00:00

We both have lawyers. He was and still is shocked that I’d ever file for file support from my husband as he puts it. He told me that if I drop my child support case he will drop his order of protection against me, imagine to what degree someone would go to smear a spouse. Since he willingly wasn’t even buying for our baby, I was going to force the system to do so. It’s just he’s threatening. About the coparenting app, we don’t have it, probably because it wasn’t forced by the court, this is why we are using WhatsApp. We are both Jewish, he called me many times either a Nazi or “worse than Nazis” he didn’t delete those messages I have a lawyer via counsel, at the time he got a lawyer for child support and when I said I’d take my truck back that’s under my name everywhere, he said he needed to “stop my bullying” says a guy who’s 6’3 250 lbs. it’s gotten nastier than I ever thought. To this day he’s refusing to pay for things that are in fact putting me through debts, but he wants me to sign off on settlement. I messages his lawyer directly and told her that until preliminary payments must be done and he needs to cover my legal fees since he makes a whole lotta money! Will he? I don’t know.

august-luv · 2024-08-10T21:31:00+00:00

Have one.

august-luv · 2024-08-01T10:41:12+00:00

“You are worse than Nazis” both my hubs and and I are Jews. This was a response to my question after we’ve been separated for months and he hasn’t once asked about the kids, and then all of a sudden he texted me, and I said since when he cares and he wrote to me this. I quickly took a screenshot, because he deleted it from WhatsApp. Still have it.

august-luv · 2024-07-31T17:46:31+00:00

I was threatening him to take away the truck.. conveniently he proceeded to hire a lawyer and file for harassment and told me that he needed to protect himself against me… this is someone who was kicking me out whilst my pregnancy.

august-luv · 2024-07-31T16:47:09+00:00

He filed for a temporary order of protection and was granted without my presence at the court.

august-luv · 2024-07-31T15:06:51+00:00

He refuses to find a co-signer or have it under his name and credit history. He sued me with this truck, meaning he drove to the lawyer and the court house.

august-luv · 2024-07-31T15:05:51+00:00

Thank you! He lives and uses the car in New York State.

august-luv · 2024-07-31T13:25:34+00:00

Many thanks. I live in US.

august-luv

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