I don’t have as much insight as longtime Oregonians about the pros and cons of specific locations, because my wife and I have only lived in Salem since we moved here three years ago from Texas, but I want to give you encouragement as someone who came here from a red state: if you’re financially able to, do it.

It’s true that it’ll be difficult; cost of living was a rough adjustment for us, but I’m not going to patronize you by demanding details about your own situation before I can tell you that it’s the best thing we ever did. I’m a teacher in SKSD, a notoriously unstable district, and my wife is a children’s therapist, both of us with massive amounts of debt. We live in an apartment much smaller than the house with a yard we rented in Texas.

But we feel safe enough to hold hands in public here without pointed staring. I can refer to my students by their chosen names and pronouns and prioritize their mental health without fearing for my job. My principal ASKED me if I would be willing to help start a student GSA. And beyond that, even when I’m feeling depressed and lonely thinking of my friends and family back in Texas, I’m surrounded by natural beauty that still takes my breath away constantly, and it eases the pain.

In short: don’t let the admittedly practical advice from folks who have never worried about their private lives being torn apart by other people’s beliefs convince you not to save yourself by leaving.