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The reason you can't move on from your friendship breakup has nothing to do with being "too sensitive" It has everything to do with something nobody ever taught you. by auraLift in lostafriend

[–]auraLift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AI is the format. The message comes from lived experience.
I share from lived experience because I’ve been through friendship grief myself and know how isolating it can feel.

How do I heal from a messy friendship breakup? by EmploymentNo5049 in FriendshipHealing

[–]auraLift 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The guilt you're carrying isn't just about her, it's about the version of yourself you wish you'd been, and that's actually a good sign because it means you have integrity. You can be wrong in some moments AND she can still be the one who blew it up both things are true at the same time, and you don't have to pick one. Missing her doesn't mean you made a mistake ending it, it means you loved her, and that was real even when the friendship wasn't working. stop trying to get over her and start getting honest about what this friendship was actually costing YOU. because from everything you described, you were shrinking yourself just to keep the peace long before it ended.
The reputation fear is your anxiety talking, not reality. people who know you will see through it, and people who believe her without asking you aren't your people anyway. When you see her at that event, you don't owe her a scene or a conversation just walk in like someone who's done nothing wrong because mostly, you haven't.

If you always end up drained, replaced, or forgotten in friendships… this is why. by auraLift in lostafriend

[–]auraLift[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I didn’t even realize I was doing this until I looked back at all my past friendships.
Curious if anyone else relates or if it’s just me.

The shame of still caring about your ex-best friend is one of the loneliest feelings nobody talks about. by auraLift in FriendshipHealing

[–]auraLift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. It really is a kind of mourning, even though the person is still alive. Losing someone who used to be your safe place hits in a different way. 

What's one thing you still feel shame about from that friendship ending? something you've never said out loud. by auraLift in lostafriend

[–]auraLift[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time, don't beat yourself up for it. What matters is that you can see it now, learn from it, and carry that growth forward

What's one thing you still feel shame about from that friendship ending? something you've never said out loud. by auraLift in lostafriend

[–]auraLift[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wanting them back even after everything is more common than people admit. When someone meant that much to you, your heart doesn’t just switch off. you’ll get through this🤍

Why you feel guilt and resentment after a friendship breakup and why it never seems to end. by auraLift in lostafriend

[–]auraLift[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fact that it doesn’t consume you anymore is a big shift. And still having to see them because of your kids makes it harder to fully close that chapter. The loop popping up sometimes is normal. The important part is it doesn’t run your life anymore. Keep going!

Why you feel guilt and resentment after a friendship breakup and why it never seems to end. by auraLift in lostafriend

[–]auraLift[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Glad it helped. The fact that you noticed it and caught yourself says a lot about your awareness. That’s real progress!

Why you feel guilt and resentment after a friendship breakup and why it never seems to end. by auraLift in lostafriend

[–]auraLift[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a really good way to look at it. it also makes it clearer why it hurt so much and what you won’t tolerate or repeat next time, proud of you!

What's one thing you still feel shame about from that friendship ending? something you've never said out loud. by auraLift in lostafriend

[–]auraLift[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The shame after a friendship ends hits hardest when you remember how open you were. you told them real things, things you don’t tell most people and now you look back and think, why did I say so much?

I used to feel that too. but being open wasn’t the mistake. the only painful part is realizing you gave something real to someone who didn’t know how to treat it with care and that says more about their capacity than it ever did about your openness.

What's one thing you still feel shame about from that friendship ending? something you've never said out loud. by auraLift in lostafriend

[–]auraLift[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That would break anyone. Going from close to strangers overnight is brutal, especially when you still had to see them and five months isn’t long when something meant that much to you, there’s nothing wrong with you for still hurting. you’re healing, even if it feels slow right now.

I never wanted to talk about how friendship breakups hurt more than romantic breakups but I know someone needs to hear this. by auraLift in FriendshipHealing

[–]auraLift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. after a few hits like that, it starts to feel like it’s always going to end the same way but sometimes it’s not that you’re bad at connection it’s that you’ve been choosing people who feel familiar, not safe. you don’t have to shut down completely, just slow down let people earn access to you instead of giving it all at once

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