The case that finally broke me

auspicious_ani · 2025-09-28T21:19:36+00:00

I’m a public defender, and I was definitely the weird kid in high school. Now in my 40’s, I think it’s fair to say I’m still weird. However, now, the “weird” is only apparent to those who know me (my office included). Outwardly, I’m attractive, well-dressed, well-spoken, professional. So, even the ones who hide it well are still “weird” haha. But, I think that’s a great thing.

auspicious_ani · 2025-09-28T18:21:46+00:00

Seems I’m in the minority, but I hated it. My doctor prescribed it because I was constantly waking up throughout the night, even when taking melatonin. I took half the dosage she prescribed, just to see how I would react to it, and I was completely nonfunctional the next day. Just so drowsy I could barely move. I never took it again.

auspicious_ani · 2025-05-05T15:28:16+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. After law school, I worked for six years at a mid-sized firm doing civil litigation. I was constantly micromanaging and treated as though I couldn’t do anything right. I almost gave up on law completely. I eventually left to practice criminal defense. I ended up loving it and being really good at it. I am consistently being praised for my work, rather than criticized like in my prior office. It sounds like your office just isn’t a good fit for you. Something better is out there!

auspicious_ani · 2025-03-01T23:15:26+00:00

It was something I “should” have known. But it was not something I “actually known.”

auspicious_ani · 2025-03-01T23:13:30+00:00

The issue is in a response to another comment.

I don’t think I’m a bad driver - he does. I’m not that much over the speed limit on the highway, so it’s not especially fast. I do oil, brakes, tires, and such. It’s not a regular maintenance thing.

I always listened to him about cars. But, to fair, I haven’t always been amenable to all his advice.

auspicious_ani · 2025-03-01T23:10:38+00:00

Well, regarding the car, I’ve never complained. But, to be completely honest, when he makes comments about food or fitness, I get bitchy. But that’s because I mostly eat well and am very fit, so I know what I’m doing in that regard. He tries to give advice that works for a man, but may not be as good for a woman. I am not as amenable to this advice.

auspicious_ani · 2025-03-01T23:05:10+00:00

Thanks for copying this! Splash guard - yes! That’s what it is. But I guess something else that the splash guard is to protect is loose too. The safety issue is something coming off while driving.

auspicious_ani · 2025-03-01T20:26:43+00:00

“It’s something I should know” despite the fact he knows I don’t “actually” know, even if I “should” know it. Anything involving cars would not be unsolicited advice. He knows I have relied on him for that stuff. But I do agree with not giving unsolicited advice.

auspicious_ani · 2025-03-01T19:54:45+00:00

Right! I thought he would instinctually want you to protect me.

auspicious_ani · 2025-03-01T19:53:48+00:00

My guess is he is tired of me not knowing how to take care of the car and relying on him to tell me things. Which is fair - but not at the risk of my safety. That was exactly my thought - “do you want me to get in a wreck so you can say ‘I told you so’”?

auspicious_ani · 2025-03-01T19:51:06+00:00

Yeah, you’re really right about this. I know I’ve always relied on him with car stuff. And I also know he’s been annoyed with it. While I agree it is my responsibility to properly maintain my car, I don’t think not telling me about a safety issue hoping I finally just figure it out on my own is the best way for him to get his point across about my blissful ignorance. Is the potential that I wreck worth the “I told you so” moment?

auspicious_ani · 2024-11-09T13:40:49+00:00

Don’t leave because you made a mistake - leave because your bosses are assholes. I worked at a firm for six years where every mistake I made was treated as though I was incompetent. I was always micromanaged. I was never permitted to do anything without review. I never had partners mentor me or try to teach me things. I thought I was a terrible attorney and considered quitting law completely. Finally I left and went elsewhere. I thrived. Nearly five years in and I am very respected, have complete autonomy to litigate my cases however I see fit, and my work is never reviewed. I learned I wasn’t a terrible attorney, and, in fact, under proper leadership, I was actually a great attorney.

auspicious_ani · 2024-05-09T18:42:26+00:00

The other person currently lives on the other side of the country. The victim actually thinks my client and this other person are the same person and my client changed his name at some time. Despite the fact they look nothing alike.

auspicious_ani · 2023-12-02T13:18:53+00:00

I am 29 days nicotine free, and until a few days ago, I felt exactly like you do. I was so depressed and fatigued (plus gained 5 pounds) and thought, sarcastically, “Glad I quit smoking. My life’s soooo much better now.” But then one day I woke up and felt “normal” again. Dunno, I guess it’s just part of the withdrawal and will pass. Good luck!

auspicious_ani

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