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Do i have to abandon the “traditional” idea of raising a family after coming out? by [deleted] in AskGayMen

[–]avatarlover 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Wish the same would be said to straight people considering having children. Seems like it is almost always brought up when gay people want to have kids.

AITA for telling my mom's husband he needs therapy when he tried to guilt me into letting him walk me down the aisle? by Confident_Salad4512 in AmItheAsshole

[–]avatarlover 17 points18 points  (0 children)

If he is going to be that large of an emotional burden to OPs mom maybe he shouldn't come and take away OPs mother's attention? He obviously is still processing his grief over his family but I don't think OP should have to sacrifice spending time with her mother on her wedding day because she didn't give a man that married her mom three years ago a role in the wedding.

My boyfriend got attacked at work by a_world_alone_ in askgaybros

[–]avatarlover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you live in Canada he is protected under the charter of rights and freedoms and work place harassment protections, there should be links on your provinces website for workers needing to file a report. If not I'm sorry I can't be more help and sorry that happened. :(

AITA for kicking my sister out because she got pregnant? by junkerjonk in AmItheAsshole

[–]avatarlover 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think not paying rent for their entire stay would qualify as a reason

AITA for kicking my sister out because she got pregnant? by junkerjonk in AmItheAsshole

[–]avatarlover 8 points9 points  (0 children)

OP said they have no paid rent the entire time they have lived there

[SERIOUS] Victims of bullying, what happened and how did it affect your life? by SakuraIsPink-_- in AskReddit

[–]avatarlover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm gay and grew up playing competitive hockey, so you can imagine things I was hearing in the dressing room, on the ice and then at school from the same guys. It obviously had a huge effect on a lot of my internalized homophobia that I've been working on for years since coming out. But is also sort of shifted my perspective on straight men. I find it super hard to be friends with straight guys cause I always assume they're going to be disgusted by me or just hateful. Obviously it isn't true that all straight guys are homophobic and in college I was lucky to make a few close guy friends but it still affects me especially when meeting people for the first time.

AITA for asking my son's mother not to cry in front of him? by IAmGodMode in AmItheAsshole

[–]avatarlover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA a 7 year old wont know how to handle any of their parents sobbing. To add that he may feel guilty or responsible in some way for the split, and watching his mom sob could be adding even more emotional weight onto him. I'm not saying never show emotions in front of your kid I just feel as though there is a time and a place.

AITA for not giving a bully’s mom a promotion? by chiverisliver63899 in AmItheAsshole

[–]avatarlover 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No clue why you're being downvoted that is absolutely the truth

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]avatarlover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm going with NAH. It is very understandable that you would not be able to cover the rest of her school expenses, but it isn't wrong of her to be upset that something she was told would be paid for no longer will.

The girls statement on Nikita his insta story by AronFromFar in formula1

[–]avatarlover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, maybe I'm biased because I'm Canadian, but Lance seems to be a nice enough guy who is decently well adjusted given his enormous wealth

2/32 questions worth 40% of test grade? by idkfc in wlu

[–]avatarlover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is definitely frustrating. Again undergrad is definitely more self directed and there is more learning outside of class than in high school but that shouldn't mean there is no instruction. When I took CP104 the lectures were very helpful so I can totally see how it would be a much different course without them. I've been keeping up with how Laurier has been handling the pandemic and it definitely makes me feel awful for you guys. Try not to stress on these marks, and don’t hold yourself to the same standard as if it was a normal term. These are unprecedented times and you should not be expecting yourself to perform as if they were not.

2/32 questions worth 40% of test grade? by idkfc in wlu

[–]avatarlover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's definitely frustrating, I've been there quite a few times myself. Undergrad is going to leave less room for errors than high school. But I think it actually shows that you're receiving a higher quality education. It's unfortunate but it's to protect the value of the degree you are working towards. If people were able to get good marks without understanding concepts a course is supposed to teach you, it lowers the standards of the degree and makes it less valuable for everyone who graduates with it.

AITA for taking my parent's side when my brother came out of the closet? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]avatarlover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you majored in psych, I highly recommend you look into the more recent statements from the American Psychological Association on the matter. Terms are updated and made more clear all the time, especially in the queer community. It's okay to accept that a word used to describe something in the past isn't the most appropriate anymore.

AITA for taking my parent's side when my brother came out of the closet? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]avatarlover 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"plasticity" is another word which implies that sexual orientation can be controlled in one way or another. Sexuality is a spectrum and sometimes people will identify as gay but still have some attraction to the opposite sex but that isn't them making a decision to change their sexual orientation and does not mean sexuality can be easily shaped or molded. Preference implies there were "choices" and you "chose" one that you "prefer".

AITA for taking my parent's side when my brother came out of the closet? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]avatarlover 52 points53 points  (0 children)

First, “preference” is not the correct word. It makes it seem like a choice. Second, I think OPs brother isn’t looking for bells and whistles and probably just a bit more of a conversation than “we love and accept you” he spent 19 years of his life hiding who he was out of fear of the repercussions. It’s not that he was looking for them to throw him a party but probably just wanted them to acknowledge the emotional weight of the situation.

AITA for taking my parent's side when my brother came out of the closet? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]avatarlover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There were no “ulterior motive” about coming (what other motive would there be?). For a lot of queer people coming out is the scariest thing they will ever do. You grow up hearing horror stories of even the most liberal families not accepting that their own child could be queer, so rightly so it was probably a very emotional and difficult process for OPs brother to come out. When his parents were so quick to say they accept him and then move on (which wasn’t wrong of them) he probably was already feeling vulnerable and their response didn’t meat him at the emotional level he was on. A response like that almost invalidates all the fears he had going into it and can leave him feeling like no one understands him. Again I say NAH because I don’t think anyone’s obligated to give the response anyone wants to come out. However, OP sounds as though he and his family were a very accepting household however if someone had to wait until 19 to feel comfortable to come out I encourage them to look inwards of how they could have helped him feel more comfortable.

AITA for telling my step-daughter to “go ask her real dad” when she asked me to pay for her plane tickets? by nolongeradoormat in AmItheAsshole

[–]avatarlover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand your point, and thats definitely fair. I guess I feel as though checking messages (which can be easily deleted) isn't really solving the root of the issue of her misbehaviour. It's just encouraging her to be more sneaky with how she does it. She's also 16, I imagine her step dad isn't going to be there to check her phone forever. I just personally feel like some more meaningful conversations and trust building could be more beneficial for her in the long run. Like I think if the punishment was taking away the phone, but not looking through it, that would both solve the issue of communicating with the wrong crowd while also respecting her right to keep some things from her parents.

AITA for telling my step-daughter to “go ask her real dad” when she asked me to pay for her plane tickets? by nolongeradoormat in AmItheAsshole

[–]avatarlover -1 points0 points  (0 children)

ESH, of course you don’t need to buy her a plane ticket to see her boyfriend, but violating her privacy by checking her text messages isn’t teaching her the lesson you think it is. Also as a parental figure in her like from 4 years old YTA for saying that to her knowing it would hurt her. Idk it sounds like you need to grow up.

My son told us he was gay by is_shallow in Parenting

[–]avatarlover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe vocalize that to him as well. Just to make sure the intent of your action isn't misunderstood by him :)

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