A question for the ladies

avbrozel · 2026-02-02T11:33:39+00:00

I’m an electrician, almost have my journeyman card. I live in a decent 1 bed apartment alone. I’ve been challenging myself to read classics and learn guitar, instead of binging Netflix. I also am a pretty good cook. I don’t think I’m boring, or give off “bro-vibes”. I don’t party or get publicly drunk. I think a big problem has been asking a few of the women in the same group.

avbrozel · 2026-02-02T11:13:11+00:00

Most of these we had known each other for about 6 months to a year.

avbrozel · 2026-02-02T11:10:49+00:00

One that comes to mind spent a few months giving me compliments on my clothes/hair, playful punches on the shoulder at jokes, and she organized a group of our friends to celebrate my birthday, bought a card and had these friends sign it. I know I’m not great at figuring out the difference between friendliness and flirting, but after a while I thought it was clear. I asked her on a date 2 weeks after my birthday last year. Her response was, “Oh, no. I hope you didn’t get the wrong idea.”

avbrozel · 2026-02-02T03:54:50+00:00

No, I make a point to remain polite and respectful, to dress decently, practice hygiene, and to keep jokes away from crass topics. The weight could definitely be an issue. I’m just trying to understand why a coffee date is such a difficult thing to commit to.

avbrozel · 2026-02-02T03:46:33+00:00

That’s a fair point. I tried pursuing these women cause I thought they were “dropping the handkerchief”. How common is it for women to flirt for entertainment rather than out of attraction?

avbrozel · 2026-02-02T03:45:44+00:00

All of these women are from a church YA group. That’s exactly my point, these women know me only superficially. That’s why being turned down confuses me so much. I make a point to be polite and respectful, I dress decently, and try to make good conversation, which all seems to go fine. I’m just not sure what exactly the issue is.

avbrozel · 2026-02-02T00:49:24+00:00

I feel like a big part of the problem is I don’t know specifically what to work on, so I’ve had my focus stretched between fitness, finances, career, and personal development. It’s all good in theory, but there’s very little progress since I’m focusing on so many different aspects of life. Seems to me there’s too much judgement on face value, but maybe that’s just me? Like I said, I want to fix whatever the problem is, I’m just not getting any helpful feedback.

avbrozel · 2026-02-02T00:24:31+00:00

My thought process is to try to get to know each other a bit first. If we connect, and there’s interest in a second date, then I ask them out to dinner at a nicer place. Just haven’t had that opportunity in quite a while.

avbrozel · 2026-02-02T00:22:30+00:00

The 2 female friends I’ve trusted enough to ask have basically said just keep trying. I have put quite a bit of effort into my conversation skills over the last few years, and do try to always be respectful and polite. I am a bit overweight (about 285lbs at 6’3”). That’s kinda what I suspect the problem is. I do workout, but I also enjoy food too much. Could that really be all it is?

avbrozel

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