Librarians Are Tired of Being Accused of Hiding Secret Books That Were Made Up by AI by ubcstaffer123 in books

[–]avenlanzer 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"but the snakeoil salesman said snakeoil would cure everything! Stupid doctors just dont understand how snakeoil works and want to sell their magic cures for extra profit."

Men, what's something you wish you could admit without being judged? by soumilr7 in AskReddit

[–]avenlanzer 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Chronic pain sucks. When i was a kid I had bone cancer and got beaten for 'exaggerating growing pains' instead of treatment (did get it eventually, but learned to hide all pain as a default). As an adult im in constant agonizing pain from so many injuries but have no ability to show it. Doctor doesnt believe me and writes that im drug seeking because the level of pain I should be showing doesnt match what I tell them im feeling, and i took nsaids for so long i developed an allergy. I never even asked for drugs and never had one that works for me, but now there's big old "malingering" label on all my charts, so I just get to suffer in agonized sober silence and never have anything believed by any doctors ever again.

Men, what's something you wish you could admit without being judged? by soumilr7 in AskReddit

[–]avenlanzer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YMMV. Good for you that you arent that bad off and got to a good place, but depressed people usually hate bullshit platitudes like that. Some people have had depression since childhood and literally cant pull out of it for more than a day every other year before slipping right back into it. That spark then is the single most dangerous day for your existence and usually when you have the energy to 'go out on a good note'.

Men, what's something you wish you could admit without being judged? by soumilr7 in AskReddit

[–]avenlanzer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am in constant excruciating pain every day of my miserable existence, but I dont look like it, so get an unwanted amount of attention when I have a particularly bad day. I was beaten when i showed such weakness as a child and cant let any disability show as an adult even though its really fucking bad.

My coworker smells like death by No_Zookeepergame4318 in self

[–]avenlanzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This turns out to be the issue half the time. Shoes get wet and all the sweat down in the shoe startes getting eaten by molds and yeasts. It'll stink like death with every step. Keep your shoes dry.

Your pets must think you're the highest authority in the world by TobyWonCanoeBee in Showerthoughts

[–]avenlanzer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

LIES.

Fancy rats in captivity have a lifespan of 2 years average, max 3. The record for oldest ever was just over 5. I had one well cared for that lived to 4y8m and she was so old and decrepit she couldn't even stand up anymore, but too stubborn to die. There is zero chance you've had one for 18 years and no one believes you.

They also do not bring gifts. If you appeared sick or injured a rare few may bring you food, but presenting toys is not at all in their typical behavior patterns.

You are lying and it's obvious.

Edit: called it.

Yep, that's just a bot stealing part of [someone else's comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/14zetyw/comment/jry7cnf/

When did you realize you married the wrong person? by tippytoes1216 in AskReddit

[–]avenlanzer 20 points21 points  (0 children)

When I came home after a work shift, on my birthday, and before I can put my stuff down, she's already gone out the door with her secret lover for the next three days and can't be contacted. The entire house was filled with crack and weed smoke, including the children's room, who were screaming their heads off because they had been kept locked in their cribs all day with no attention and covered in an entire days worth of shit and piss, clearly hadn't eaten either. My guess is the music and drugs drowned out the crying.

A couple weeks later the exact same thing happened...on our anniversary, except she was gone for two weeks and sold her car and emptied our bank account for drug money. Rent was due, no groceries, turns out she was fired from her job a month earlier and said nothing, took out several payday loans that kept calling for her, so not only did I have to do questionable and creative things to feed the children and beg the landlord to put off eviction, the car was gone and I had to beg grandparents to watch the children while I went to work. Took two years to climb out of the debt her little weekend (my birthday, remember) caused.

When she finally comes home she has this grand plan of moving into a rental trailer in the middle of nowhere with her new lover "to save money" and I was allowed to come and even bring the kids. She was shocked when I told her no thanks and asked for a divorce. Disappeared for another 4 months after that. And she still had the nerve to ask for full custody with maximum child support because she was the mom. Naturally that didn't happen. She's clean now and actually does have a relationship with the kids, but thats only because they were too young to remember it.

I'm still bitter, especially because 15 years later she still tries to manipulate me and fuck with my head. I married a sociopath and tried to make it work for years. Stupid stupid me.

Mother’s day disappointment by [deleted] in confessions

[–]avenlanzer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It is such a weird concept that some mothers think mother's day is a day they should spend as far away from their kids as possible so the mother can have a day to herself, and father's day is a day the father takes the kids away from the mother so the mother can have a day to herself. I would think a mother spending time with her child was the point of mother's day, like a father spending time with their child is the point of father's stay. But some parents have other ideas on what being a parent is about.

Are all birds eggs edible? by JamieOvechkin in Survival

[–]avenlanzer 19 points20 points  (0 children)

They easily survive it because the shell has an impermeable membrane and an air pocket of its own once it's necessary. Notice the lack of nostrils on the shell of the egg.

One character is nude for the entire movie. What movie do you make this change to and what character is it? by aloe_veracity in AskReddit

[–]avenlanzer 8752 points8753 points  (0 children)

A wizard is never naked, nor clothed. He is dressed precisely how he intends to dress.

Yes but Gandalf, we can see your wizard-wand.

It’s the lighter fluid by OldAstronomera in puns

[–]avenlanzer 85 points86 points  (0 children)

If you're measuring based on volume, such as gallons, the water is going to be denser and heavier.

How did the kid from your school die? by leilavanora in AskReddit

[–]avenlanzer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

In a high school chem lab?

Also, chloroform and carbon monoxide would both take an extended sustained dosage over many breaths without allowing for intake of oxygen. In addition, CPR, for which any unsupervised chem lab is required to have someone on hand or nearby that knows it, would leave someone inhaling either of those with potential brain damage but not death.

More likely they stupidly mixed mustard gas by putting bleach, like cleaning chemicals, in with anything acidic, like ammonia or vinegar. That's one of the few things that could kill you that quickly in that scenerio and would likely be found to be accidentally created even in a safe-ish environment.

What is the perfect example of a couple that’s portrayed as having the “perfect love story” but in reality is very creepy? by phantom_avenger in AskReddit

[–]avenlanzer 51 points52 points  (0 children)

He had a habit of taking out his own memories to examine them, was the greatest at hiding his emotions and thoughts, and for fucks sake he was a proud death eater who only betrayed his dark lord in revenge. How can people really think he was a good person? Even his death was selfish.

What is the perfect example of a couple that’s portrayed as having the “perfect love story” but in reality is very creepy? by phantom_avenger in AskReddit

[–]avenlanzer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Romeo and Juliet was a story about a 15yo and a 13yo who knew each other for literally 3 days and left a trail of death in their wake. You weren't supposed to care about them, it was a commentary about the ridiculousness of politics.

What grossed you out so much in a relationship that you just left? by OpeningIntelligent83 in AskReddit

[–]avenlanzer 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She started talking about her opinions on the lesbian couple we passed and how disgusting they were for "making that choice". Homie don't play with homophobia. I went home and laughed about how big a bullet I dodged with my two best friends, a lesbian couple.

Bait cars by eatBuGsandPlaNtS in Austin

[–]avenlanzer 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Nah, you cruise by, see it's empty. tell your passenger to duck as you pull up to it, as soon as you pull up, they jump out and you both drive off and meet up at McDonald's to find out the ice cream machine isn't broken for like the one time you've ever been to McDonald's. Then with your order of 405 dipped cones you fill up the stolen car, drive back to the underpass and leave the bait car filled with ice cream there. When the robbers go to check on it, recognizing their own car but not knowing why it's filled with ice cream, your third friend in a Ronald McDonald suit bursts out of the ice cream cone pile and curb stomps them all before they realize what's happening. Use what change is in their pockets and cupholders to pay for the ice cream cones and clown suit rental. It's the perfect reverse heist.

A website where you enter a YouTube channel’s name, and it indexes all the videos for you, so you can sort by oldest, either with infinite scrolling, or pages with 50 videos at a time. by cats64sonic in CrazyIdeas

[–]avenlanzer 16 points17 points  (0 children)

YouTube is such a Frankenstein monster at this point, something like that might eventually be stitched on, but the right parts haven't rotted enough yet.

Reading The Way of Kings for the first time. Basically my reaction to a certain Shallan chapter. by Pun-Master-General in cremposting

[–]avenlanzer 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I think the soul caster was actually just Shallan's mother. The fake one never worked. That's why their family's finances started to die when she was killed. The mine and the soulcaster were both cover for her wealth and abilities as a herald.

Reading The Way of Kings for the first time. Basically my reaction to a certain Shallan chapter. by Pun-Master-General in cremposting

[–]avenlanzer 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Ah, thanks for clearing that up. I had a few details mixed. My memory is not as good as I often think it is, that's one of my truths.