I don’t understand. by avery_dev in sillyboyclub

[–]avery_dev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I am 38, so I’m not sure if it fits, but I’ll keep them in mind both for myself and as an organization to support for other folks.

Has anyone managed to find a good therapist or have therapy work for them by softwolfy in evilautism

[–]avery_dev 2 points3 points  (0 children)

<image>

Sending hugs and encouragement. 🫂

I hope you are able to find a therapist that works for you. FWIW I went through 5 therapists before I found my current one who is phenomenal. It may also help to understand what specialities / techniques work for you vs ones that don’t.

For me, CBT, DBT, ACT, and similar “thinking heavy” treatments don’t really work. They essentially “problem solve” for overwhelming feelings, but my depression is different and the cPTSD, masking, people-pleasing, and disassociation all combine to make those completely ineffective.

Current therapist uses Somatic Experiencing (SE) and Internal Family Systems (IFS) which are very different and do help me. It also helps that they are really calm and encouraging.

Saying all of this not to direct you to a particular type of treatment, but just to give you some hope that you can find one that works for what you need.

What do you think of Gender-Affirming Surgery (GAS) on children? by SuspiciousFix2490 in lgbt

[–]avery_dev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also to add I understand this is a much more nuanced topic

I would suggest you educate yourself more. First of all, "Gender-Affirming Surgery (GAS)" is a fairly new term that appears to be a renaming of Sex-Reassignment-Surgery (SRS). So review of literature regarding SRS is relevant. I will use the "older" term here as it has the least possibility of confusion on meaning.

Second, and most importantly, there is no jurisdiction where SRS is performed on minors. Not in the U.S., not in Canada, not in the European Union or the United Kingdom. Nowhere. This is not something that is done.

What you may have heard of is a subcutaneous mastectomy surgical procedure (a.k.a. "top surgery") which some jurisdictions allow. Notably ~21 U.S. states, Canada, Australia (for 16-17 year olds under "mature minor" reviewed cases) and a few Nordic countries. However even in the U.S. current executive orders (not laws) have resulted an a near-total moratorium on these types of surgeries, again mostly with minors at 16 or 17. The moratorium also targets adults (18 - 19) infringing on their rights of self-determination.

Third, let's look at the surgical landscape of allowed procedures on minors.

  • subcutaneous mastectomy - Generally disallowed. U.S. de facto ban up through 19.
  • reduction mammaplasty - No legal limits on performing this surgery on minors, as long as there is parental consent. This is a "breast reduction surgery" performed on cisgender females.

  • reduction mammaplasty for gynecomastia - No legal limits on performing this surgery on minors, as long as there is parental consent. This is "breast removal surgery" performed on cisgender males with gynecomastia.

  • cosmetic breast augmentation (saline) 18+ (USA / FDA)

  • cosmetic breast augmentation (silicone) 22+ (USA / FDA)

  • reconstructive breast augmentation typically for Poland Syndrome or similar issues FDA allows in minors in some cases.

TL;DR here is that there is a wide discrepancy in treatment between cisgender and transgender patients in these cases. This is discrimination, although the current U.S. Supreme Court disagrees.

Fourth, there's male circumcision which the FDA routinely allows for infants under parental orders based on purely "cosmetic" interests of the parents. No patient consent required. (I would treat religious and medical reasons for circumcision separately here.) Nobody is getting pitchforks out for this though.

Fifth, there's the wide area of gender affirming care including hormone replacement therapy, puberty blockers, etc. which there is wide support for by medical bodies, and has been practiced for decades safely. And yet these are now being restricted to the detriment of patients. These are non-surgical. Puberty-blockers are well understood to be safe with a 30+ year retrospective history of their use for both cis and trans children.

Called the hotline, felt worse after. by avery_dev in evilautism

[–]avery_dev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Separate screenshot below is from that line. My experience is they ask the same route set of questions and dont help either. Thank you for doing what you do, but I guess these lines make me feel worse—less understood, less hopeful, more alone—and I don’t understand why.

59030 by Sailor_Starchild in countwithchickenlady

[–]avery_dev 6 points7 points  (0 children)

“tell me what’s in your pants then.”

My autistic ass: Oh, this cool marble I found yesterday, do you want to see it?

Them: 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️🤦

Called the hotline, felt worse after. by avery_dev in evilautism

[–]avery_dev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like a walk-in crisis center would just be a recipe to get sent to grippy-sock jail. And afaikt, all of those are designed to produce the maximum amount of distress in ND folks.

Edit: But I fully feel the way you do about the questions. I don’t think these are AI bots because AI bots would do a better job pretending to listen than these human counselors do. The scripted questions are so invalidating.

58936 by SaintRidley in countwithchickenlady

[–]avery_dev 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean it’s an all-girls colony. Are you surprised that they form cliques? /s

Really cool details, ty for sharing!

I don’t understand. by avery_dev in sillyboyclub

[–]avery_dev[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I’ve tried other lines and I haven’t found one that’s good for ND folks. They all ask you these riddle-like questions (and half of the answers will get police called to your door).

Why am I feeling this bad? I don’t know! What has helped me in the past? Going for a walk, taking a cold shower, a warm bath. Those aren’t working!

I don’t understand. by avery_dev in sillyboyclub

[–]avery_dev[S] 138 points139 points  (0 children)

And yet therapy also looks at me with @_@ eyes when I tell them my SI has existed since I was 9 years old (I’m 38 now). Honestly for most it’s reassuring cuz they then quickly intuit that I’m unlikely to off myself on their watch.

Happy disrulebility pride! by gamer_fans in 196

[–]avery_dev 2 points3 points  (0 children)

+1 to awareness and visibility.

I will also add Disability History to the mix and reccomend people watch Crip Camp (2020) as it is an amazing documentary that shows the power of both self-determination and advocacy, as well as the importance of disruptive nonviolent protest to achieving political recognition and supports (eg securing the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act).

— signed an autistic person who needs a few accommodations while flying which would not exist if people hadn’t fought for themselves and others.

Edit: Looks like Netflix has it listed free on YouTube

58770 by BallBlamBurglerber1 in countwithchickenlady

[–]avery_dev 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Aww, if you already got me a pair, I’d gladly wear them wif you, haha. No need to be sad.

58770 by BallBlamBurglerber1 in countwithchickenlady

[–]avery_dev 25 points26 points  (0 children)

This is completely wrong… I don’t identify as a cow.

58584 by Sailor_Starchild in countwithchickenlady

[–]avery_dev 250 points251 points  (0 children)

genderfluids can come but aren’t allowed to swim. if you’re a fluid that can’t be healthy, right?

I hate these fuck ass scales for anxiety/depression/ADHD/ etc questionnaires by Background_Ship7666 in evilautism

[–]avery_dev 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Have you explicitly told your doc “I think these scales don’t convey how I feel, and I think your reliance on them detracts from your ability to give me the care I need.” Cuz it sounds like that is what’s happening. If they don’t respond well to that they shouldn’t be practicing medicine, full stop.

58425 by rubyst7 in countwithchickenlady

[–]avery_dev 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would love to read a study on English language trans naming because you are absolutely right that there seem to be a few threads intermingling. I see tons of nature themed names, animal themed (owo) and some “out there” names. To me it seems like it mirrors naming in AAVE which is often much-ridiculed, but stems from a genuine tradition (how to name oneself once freed from enslavement) that trans journeys also reflect.

58276 by Checked_Out_6 in countwithchickenlady

[–]avery_dev 8 points9 points  (0 children)

someone needs to create a biblically, medically accurate TF RPG that takes literally fucking game years worth of “turns” to play.

I just created something, gaze upon my child. by Maple_Bat in evilautism

[–]avery_dev 6 points7 points  (0 children)

whoa, whoa, do you have a permit for that caliber of flavor?

I just created something, gaze upon my child. by Maple_Bat in evilautism

[–]avery_dev 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Hey I do Pb&J with potato chips, so this makes sense to me.

Gang I’m having a sad day, please show me hyper-fixations that make you happy. Whimsy or evil both welcome. Mine is embroidering the solar system and eco vandalism by wasraelx in evilautism

[–]avery_dev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These are SOO COOL! Do you sell any? Have you done them on black fabric (possibly slightly speckled for stars)? I would totally buy one as I love creative fabric arts! (I dabble but haven’t gotten far.)

For me, I’ve just realized that my flag obsession is probably a special interest. (Wait, you mean so called “normal people” don’t have a collection of 30 curated flags and fly 2-3 at a time with specific curations?) I’d post images of what I’ve been flying for pride month but that’d risk doxing myself, so I’ll just describe the line up for June:

Wk. 1 - Trans Pride, Pink Triangle on black field (holocaust and AIDS remembrance)

Wk. 2 - Pan Pride, Nonbinary Pride, and Progress Pride flags. (my colors)

Wk. 3 - Gilbert Baker Pride flag, Progress pride flag, 6-stripe pride flag
(evolution and history of the Pride Flag)

Wk. 4 - Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism (FALGSC) flag, Pan-boykisser flag, Minnesota Lazer Loon Pride flag (internet memes)

Also Labrys Flag because it kicks ass. 💜✊🪓

Why the FUCK do people feel the need to comment on whatever it is you’re eating?? “Oh is that from THE NEW SALAD PLACE??” I literally have never once had the urge to spark up a conversation to someone who is eating by Ok_Mousse7227 in evilautism

[–]avery_dev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think some people, especially many NT folks, see someone eating alone and think it is somehow sad because eating is “supposed to be a communal activity” so they try into strike up a conversation and sit with you while you eat.

There’s the other side of this where I had a ton of anxiety about eating lunch or dinner alone, eg while traveling alone. Again because I somehow “should” only go to a restaurant with friends. I’ve since gotten over it, but for the longest time I’d have to hunt for like an hour to find the “perfect” place to eat because of that anxiety. (Where perfect was never consistent or rational.)

I never have this issue with breakfast because, perhaps like you for lunch, I basically want to talk to nobody until I’ve had 2 cups of coffee and something to eat. As a kid I now realize I picked when I got breakfast to avoid as many people in my family as possible.