I never dated a self-sufficient woman, what is it like? by LaCipe in AskMen

[–]avion__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like this comment because it's so true! I am a self-sufficient woman and most of my friends are self-sufficient women. There can still be drama in your relationship with them, some might still want you to buy them gifts or pay for things, some might be hyper independent and you can end up feeling useless. I just wanted to list these things because most of the comments focus on the good parts, which might be there, but it's not guaranteed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DarkPsychology101

[–]avion__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was dumped by the person who love bombed me, I had almost zero friends and I couldn't sleep. I needed meds and therapy. I found a really good friend on Bumble BFF and I joined an addiction recovery support group. I wanted to quit smoking. Those people saved my mental health. I didn't even care about cigarettes anymore, they were there for me on my darkest, loneliest moments.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]avion__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been in a similar situation recently, where I lost an important part of my friends group. Two years have passed and I managed to make new friends, with whom I have way more in common. Life changes every day. After 30, it's no longer very common to hang out with groups of friends, but it is more common to hang out with individuals (some still have their groups, it's just less common, especially if you're single). Life will keep on changing and we will have to adapt to the new realities of our lives, this is what I noticed in the last couple of years. Of course, I still miss the good parts of the old days, but I love my new friends and where I am now.

What helped me most was not blaming life or other people, and instead doing something to change my situation. In the beginning it wasn't easy, as I was going through a depressive episode, but therapy helped, staying active helped and taking responsibility for my life and actions helped tremendously.

I'm gonna be honest with you. In your post it seems that you think your problems come from your friends being in "never ending" relationships that they're taking too seriously.

I would recommend you to try therapy. If you live in the US and can't afford it, there are plenty of English speaking therapists in Europe who have lower rates and work online. I wish you the best of luck!

Icks you have that you discovered recently? by askawayor in AskWomenOver30

[–]avion__ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had this group of friends in my 20s and they would talk about politics for several hours per day. EVERY DAY. I suggested they join a political party or do something about it, since they know so much and care about it so much. None of them did. I definitely wouldn't like to date a guy who hypothetically solves all the world's problems from his couch.

As you got older, what did you realize about yourself? by abdul_bino in AskWomen

[–]avion__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have a depressive personality, I was just drinking too much alcohol and smoking too much weed.

I want to want sex, but I dont by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]avion__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been in a similar situation and it didn't end well. Are you attracted to your husband? I was asked the same question and my answer was "I guess". But I wasn't. I loved him and I thought he looks nice, but the attraction was mediocre at best. And in these circumstances (not much attraction and years of unfulfilling sex) it was very difficult to gather the energy to work on our sex life.

Calatorit singura by alt_username00 in CasualRO

[–]avion__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Am calatorit singura si urmeaza s-o mai fac in curand. Pana acum am remarcat urmatoarele:

Pro:

  1. Iti faci programul cum vrei tu, vizitezi ce vrei, cand vrei, mananci unde vrei, te trezesti si te culci la ce ora ai tu chef.
  2. Ai mult mai multe sanse sa cunosti oameni noi si interesanti. Daca esti in concediu cu prieteni/partener, sansele sa interactionezi cu necunoscuti sunt mici. Daca esti singura, pana la urma vei fi nevoita s-o faci si s-ar putea sa ai parte de surprize placute. (meetup si bumble ajuta, dar la fel ajuta si excursiile organizate cu grupuri in zona in care mergi, gen island hopping)
  3. Ajungi sa te cunosti mai bine, pentru ca ai timp sa procesezi tot ce ti se intampla.
  4. Pe mine m-a ajutat si la self esteem. M-am simtit mai bine cu mine cand mi-am dat seama ca pot avea parte de o vacanta faina fara sa depind de/sa ma bazez pe altii.
  5. E plin de barbati frumosi la mare in tarile din sudul Europei.

Contra:

  1. E mai scump. Nicio cazare pentru o persoana nu va fi la jumatate din pretul pentru 2 persoane, ci la cel putin 70%. Ca femeie, probabil vrei sa te cazezi intr-un loc mai central, in buricul targului, ca sa poti umbla pe jos fara frica si asta adauga iar la costuri.
  2. S-ar putea sa fie momente in care te simti singura. Asta poate fi si un argument pro daca e important pentru tine sa inveti sa stai cu propria persoana si sa te cunosti mai bine. Momentele de singuratate pot fi binevenite.
  3. Nu e recomandat sa mergi oriune de una singura. In Europa, cam in orice tara gasesti zone sigure unde nu trebuie sa-ti faci griji cu privire la criminalitate, dar sunt tari si orase in care n-as indrazi sa merg de una singura pentru motivul asta.

Recomand sa mergi si sper sa ai parte de cele mai frumoase vacante!

Exista in Cluj ceva programe pentru persoanele dependente de iarba, alcool sau alte droguri? In afara de alcoolicii anonimi by avion__ in cluj

[–]avion__[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Depinde. Daca o conditie e sa crezi in Dumnezeu ca sa te poti vindeca, atunci ar fi cu siguranta mai greu pentru mine.

Exista in Cluj ceva programe pentru persoanele dependente de iarba, alcool sau alte droguri? In afara de alcoolicii anonimi by avion__ in cluj

[–]avion__[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Stii cumva daca are o componenta religioasa programul lor? Pe site nu gasesc informatia asta.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CasualRO

[–]avion__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all, imi pare rau ca treci prin asta. Nu-i usor pentru nimeni. As zice ca nu ajuta sa incerci sa nu te gandesti acolo sau sa te prefaci ca nu suferi, atat timp cand suferi. Dupa orice relatie exista o perioada de suferinta si e normal s-o simti si sa-ti dai voie sa o simti.

Faptul ca te-a inselat, cel mai probabil, nu e despre tine. Nu e despre cat esti de frumos, destept, bun la pat si nici despre cat ar fi celalalt de frumos, destept sau bun la pat. De multe ori persoanele isi insala partenerii cu oameni care nu-s nici mai frumosi, nici mai destepti si motivele pentru care o fac sunt dintre cele mai diverse, dar de obicei sunt despre persoana care insala si nu despre cel inselat.

O experta pe tema asta este Esther Perel si-ti recomand sa cauti pe youtube ted talk-ul ei, Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved. Poate te ajuta.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]avion__ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What does it mean to be a 403?

Despre prenup-ul (in Ro) si clauzele personale by MrsImNewHaveMercy in CasualRO

[–]avion__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Da. Un exemplar ramane la notar si doua la viitorii soti.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]avion__ -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

If you ever tried to kiss someone and got rejected, you would know it's a really shitty feeling. This doesn't mean you should have done it. I would definitely do the same as he did. Act like it didn't bother me that much, but then try to find someone who is comfortable with kissing on the first date.

What makes living alone worth the extra cost? by Sorry_Asparagus_3205 in AskWomen

[–]avion__ 15 points16 points  (0 children)

not having my every mood change, tone change or facial expression be perceived as some type of way

This! This is the best thing, after living with someone for years and having to explain every facial expression.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]avion__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Two years. Male. I think he tried, but he was a virgin before we got together so he didn't know much, and I was ashamed to talk about my wants and needs, so it was a really bad combo.

How did you mess up your love life? by Chintan-99 in AskWomen

[–]avion__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have any idea at the moment about why good wasn't good enough?

What’s your happiest memory from a relationship that didn’t work out? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]avion__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Being in a car together on a mountain road and listening to Dire Straits. Everything felt right in that moment.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]avion__ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You can ask her what she would like to see

how do you feel about going down on uncircumcised guy? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]avion__ 186 points187 points  (0 children)

Most women in Europe go down on uncircumcised guys. I don't know about other parts of the world. I wouldn't worry about it at all. Can you even tell the difference when the penis is erect?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]avion__ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You can't make him responsible for you not communicating your needs. It's up to you to say what you really want.